My Little Monsters

by AJ de Aquila
with sample illustrations by Andrew Bee
(30 pages)

1) Once upon a time there were two little monsters,

one named Piggy and
one named Perogie.

They lived in a cave with their Mama, who was a beautiful dragon
and was always flying away on long journeys…

…and their dad, who was a great big monster with a great big mouth and a great big roar,
which sounded something like this…

2) Rraaaaaaar!

3) Every night, in the middle of the night, Perogie would wake up screaming a horrible high-pitched "waaaaaaah", which cut through the air and woke up his mum and dad. Mama Dragon would stretch her wings, climb out of bed, go pick him up and bring him into her room. His dad would roll over and mutter: "You little monster," then try and go back to sleep.

4) Early in the morning, every morning, Piggy would wake up, stomp to the bathroom for an early morning pee, then clomp into her parents’ bedroom and climb on top of her dad.
"You little monster," muttered the dad, as she wrapped herself around his arm and fell back to sleep. The dad just lay there listening to Mama Dragon snorting, Perogie wheezing and Piggy monster snuffling. "You’re all monsters," he grunted, and finally fell asleep.

5) Two minutes later their two pet bats, Pipi & Stella, would fly into the bedroom squealing:
"Fffeeeeed meeeee, feeed meeee!"
Mama Dragon and Monster Dad would both wake up, snarling "You little monsters!" and throw socks and slippers and slime at the bats to chase them out of the room.

6) By then everyone would wake up and they all went down to breakfast.
Piggy and Perogie were allowed to feed the bats a little scoop of bat-food from a great big tin. Every morning they’d fight over who would use the red scoop and who would use the blue scoop. Eventually the bats would end up with a bowl of brown pellets, which looked like flies, but were actually made of rice and dead frogs.

7) Stella was a bit of a scaredy-bat and would wait until the monsters had gone before she started eating. Every morning, just as she felt brave enough to eat her breakfast, Perogie would jump off his chair and chase her round the kitchen shouting "raaaaaar, raaaaaar!"
"Get back on your chair, you little monster," roared Dad.
"Ok Dada," said Perogie meekly and he climbed back up and nibbled his cereals, a yummy mixture of crunchy bugs and raisins.

8) 3 seconds later, Piggy would start squealing:
"I don’t want cereals. I don’t like bugs. I want toast."
"I beg your pardon!" roared Monster Dad.
"Toast pleeeeeease Dada."
"Little monster," muttered Dad as he buttered her some toast.
"Not butter, slime-marine!!!" screamed Piggy.
"Ok," said Dad as he pretended to spread slime-marine on her toast.
"And marmite!"….."Please?"
Dad monster dollopped on the black sticky goo and cut the toast into 4 little squares.
"Not squares, triangles!" screeched Piggy.
"Raaaaaaar!" roared the dad and poured himself a cup of hot black coffee, which always seemed to make him angrier.

9) Every morning after breakfast they went to Cheyenne and Charlene’s Country & Western Daycare. Do you know how they got there?
You do?
How?
Of course. On the big red Monster Streetcar. Except when it was really sunny and Mama Dragon was home, in which case they’d … well you know, they’d …

10) Fly!

11) But this month Mama Dragon was away on one of her long trips, half way round the world.
Piggy & Perogie were all alone with their Dad, which was horrible.
And fun.
And horrible, especially when he roared at them.

12) It was chicken o’clock at night and Piggy & Perogie were eating their supper, which was dee-licious; hot, sticky snail shells with blood sauce and parmesan cheese. Yum!
Perogie was having trouble keeping them on his spoon and every time he dropped one, Pipi the pet bat swooped under the table and gobbled it up.

13) It was half past plate and Piggy and Perogie were still rolling around on the floor, like two crazy dust bunnies. Monster Dad was getting a little annoyed;
"Come along you horrible little monsters, time to brush your teeth."
It’s very important for monsters to keep their teeth shiny and sharp, otherwise they go all brown and they break and they hurt when you bite on hard things like apples and bones.

14) It was slime o’clock and Piggy and Perogie were bouncing up and down on Monster Dad’s giant bed.
"Went to the vampire, the vampire said… ‘ No more monsters jumping on the bed!!!’"
Piggy and Perogie laughed. Monster Dad’s face went blue.
"In five, in four, in three, in two…"

15) Piggy and Perogie lay down quietly. Monster dad brushed their sharp, pointy teeth.
Soon Piggy was snuffling fast asleep.
Perogie and Monster Dad snuggled under the covers to watch Monsieur Muggins Monster Meals on TV… tonight’s recipe was for roast children in snot sauce with broccoli and worms. Yumm!
Perogie’s eyelids grew heavier and his breathing grew louder and louder and louder and soon he too was fast asleep.
Monster Dad carried them both to their beds and kissed them good night.

16) At half past thumb in the morning Perogie woke up screaming a horrible high-pitched "waaah," which cut through the air and woke up his dad.
"You little monster," muttered Dad as he climbed out of bed.
"Waaaah," screamed Perogie.
"Shhhh," whispered Dad, "Piggy’s sleeping."
"Waaaah," screamed Perogie.

Monster Dad knew that Perogie wanted dragon milk, but Mama Dragon was thousands of miles away and all he could give him was a little bottle of hippo milk, which isn’t quite the same.
"Alright, alright, come in to my bed," said Dad.
"Ok Dada," said Perogie in a tiny little voice, and he snuggled up with his dad and his little bottle of hippo milk.

17) At twenty to sick in the morning, Piggy woke up, stomped to the bathroom for an early morning pee, then clomped into Monster Dad’s bedroom and climbed on top of him.
"You little monster," muttered Dad, and she wrapped herself around his arm and fell back to sleep.
Monster dad just lay there listening to Perogie wheezing and Piggy snuffling.
"You little monsters," he grunted, and finally fell asleep.

18) Two minutes later Pipi & Stella came flying into the bedroom squealing:
"Ffeeeeed meeeee, feeed meeee!"
Piggy and Monster Dad both woke up and snarled "You little monsters!" as they threw socks and slippers and slime at the bats to chase them out of the room.
It was too noisy to go back to sleep so they all got up and went down to breakfast.

19) At breakfast Piggy started squealing: "Don’t want cereals. Don’t like bugs! I want toast."
"I beg your pardon!" roared Monster Dad.
"Toast pleeeeeease Dada"
"Little monster" muttered Dad as he buttered her some toast.
"Not butter, slime-marine!!!" screamed Piggy.
"Ok," said Dad as he spread slime-marine and marmite on her toast.
"Not marmite, jam!" screamed Piggy. "Please?"
Dad monster dollopped jam on top of the black sticky goo and cut the toast into 4 little triangles.
"Not triangles, circles!" screeched Piggy.
"Raaaaaaar" roared the dad and poured himself a cup of hot black coffee, which made him even angrier.

20) Four hours later they were all dressed in their warm winter coats. Piggy still had jam on her face, Perogie still had a spider’s web on his head, but hey, who cares!
Monster Dad picked them both up and lolloped out of the cave, up to the street car stop, where they climbed onto the big red monster streetcar and trundled off to daycare… just in time for lunch.

21) Monster Dad went back home and tidied up the bowls, tidied up the plates, tidied up the bug jam and the marmite and the bits of toast that the bats hadn’t eaten already. Then he emptied the bat-poo box, cleaned the monster toilet and picked up all the socks and slimy toys and puzzle pieces and broken skeletons. "Little monsters," he muttered.
When he finished stuffing all the dirty clothes into the monster washer he made himself a big cup of coffee with extra frothy bat-spit and looked up at the clock. It was already quarter past flies – he was late for the little monsters.

22) Monster Dad grabbed his coat and raced out of the cave. He sprinted up to the street to jump on a streetcar – but there wasn’t one, so he ran and ran and puffed and panted and ran and ran and wheezed and snorted and ran and ran and groaned and grunted all the way to Cheyenne and Charlene’s Country and Western Daycare.

Just in time. They stayed in the playground and played a while, then when it started to get dark, Monster Dad scooped them up and took them up to the street to catch the streetcar.

23) They waited and waited, but no streetcar came. They were getting tired and hungry and very cold.
Suddenly, they saw the green light of the streetcar in the distance. Piggy and Monster Dad waved to the streetcar.
The driver stared into the distance.

24) Just as they thought the streetcar would stop, the traffic lights changed to green and the streetcar surged past them, dinging its bell.
Monster Dad was furious.
He picked up Piggy, tucked her under his right arm and charged after the streetcar.
"Raaaaaar," he roared, "Raaaaaaaar!"

The streetcar was stuck in a traffic-jam and the monsters were catching it up.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, Monster Dad’s feet pounded the sidewalk.

Suddenly the streetcar moved off again.
Monster Dad threw his head back and roared even louder:
"Raaaaaaaar!"

25) The streetcar moved slowly, the monsters drew closer, the streetcar moved further, the monsters moved faster… boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, booom,
scrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhh
Monster Dad skidded on a patch of ice

Oooouuufff
he landed on the sidewalk

Doouuuf
Piggy landed on the sidewalk, ten feet ahead.
Waaaaaaaaaah!

Boouuuf
Perogie landed in the middle of the road

Brrrrrrrrm, brrrrrrrrm,
The traffic roared.

26) [Action sequence – like a storyboard - split double page into frames]

i) "Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar!!!"
Monster Dad dived into the road and scooped up Perogie.

ii) Eeeeeeeeeeeeeaarch
The monster trucks screeched to a halt

27)

iii) Waaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Piggy was still crying on the sidewalk.

iv) Monster Dad scooped her up with his other arm.
He held them tightly.

28) When they got home they had supper together quietly and fed the bats.
"I want the red one"
"No I want the red one"
Monster Dad smiled: "you little monsters!" and took them up to his big bed where they all snuggled up to watch Monster Cooking on the TV.

29) Perogie picked up a pillow and bonked Piggy on the head.
Piggy picked up a pillow and bonked her daddy on the head.
He took Piggy in his left arm and Perogie in his right and squeezed them tightly.
"You really are little monsters," said Monster Dad, "but you’re my little Monsters!" and they all snuggled up and went to sleep.

30) Monsieur Muggins wittered away on the TV, sizzling slug sausages and stirring slop soup.
He realised no-one was watching anymore, his big hairy eyelids drooped shut, his hat fell in the soup and he too fell asleep.

The End

[Editorial Note: streetcar could just as easily be tram/bus/dragon-wagon?]

My Little Monsters	by AJ deAquila
Images ©2004 Andrew Bee	bee@winwinpictures.tv
Text ©2004 Andrew Johnston	feedback@dolcevitamedia.com

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