I think you people still play that game don’t you? What do you call it
again?
Ear-ball? Hairball? Knee-ball?
Oh yes that’s it, thank you. Now where were we?
One day, Sir Sam was galloping through the forest as usual, when he smelt
a beautiful, but very mysterious smell wafting through the tall, green trees.
It was like honey and maple syrup and hot buttered pancakes, mmmmmm it
was deee-licious.
Sam and Macaroni followed the sweet, sweet smell through the trees, until
they came to a clearing in the forest. There in front of them was a...
……………………
… HUGE STONE WALL.
Over to the East was a large wooden gate in the huge stone wall,
and the large wooden gate was…
………………………..
… OPEN.
And that’s where the smell was coming from, so through the gate they went.
There, before there very eyes was a beautiful…
………………………….
…palace with pointy pink towers and a moat and a drawbridge.
And there in front of the drawbridge was…
…………………………
… a lovely old wagon full of steaming hot pancakes and jugs of warm honey
and flagons of fresh maple syrup. Oh hoh hoh ho!
Sam and Macaroni were riding up to the wagon, they just couldn’t help it,
the smell was so delicious, when suddenly they heard a deep and very fierce…
……………………………………….
…voice bellowing: "Halt! Who goes there?"
Sam and Macaroni were a little bit nervous, but only a little bit; after
all, Sam was a knight and knights are suppose to be brave.
"It is I, Sir Samuel de Montfort, and his trusty pony, Macaroni. We come
in peace."
"And what is your business?" asked the deep, fierce voice.
"I was just wondering what that lovely smell was," answered Sam.
"Oh stop being so scary Daddy," came another voice, which sounded much
more like a girl’s. "Hello! Good knight, do come around the wagon,
we’d like to see how brave you are."
Sam and Macaroni trotted gingerly around the wagon.
There before their very eyes was a funny little man with a crown on, holding
a great big microphone. Standing next to him was a beautiful princess,
with long golden hair and a sparkly pink dress.
Sam got off his horse and bowed nobly.
"Ooh daddy, he’s very nice," said the princess. "Can he stay for tea?"
"Hmm, what? Well, um, I suppose, er you’d better ask him, hadn’t you."
"Good Knight, would you like to stay for tea?"
"Er, well I…"
"You’d better say yes," whispered the king, "otherwise there’ll be trouble."
"Er, well yes, I’d…"
"Good, come along!"
The princess grabbed him by the hand and took him into the palace. A servant
came over and tied Macaroni to a post next to a big sack of oats.
Four more servants appeared and carried the pancakes and honey and maple
syrup into the palace.
The princess led him into a long dining room with huge great pictures of
old kings and queens all along the wall. Some were on horseback, some were
stroking spaniels, one was playing an oboe and one was playing the fool.
At one end of the table was a pink tablecloth with a white lace cover,
five pink milk-shakes with white froth on top and five sets of knives, forks
and teaspoons.
The princess whispered something to the servant carrying a flagon of maple
syrup, then she turned to the prince and said:
"Well, what do you think?"
Sam thought it was all a bit too pink, but he was too polite to say so,
and he was hypnotized by the sweet, sweet smell of syrup.
"Er…Yeahh!"
"Come and sit here," said the princess.
Sam took off his sword, placed it in the sword rack and followed her to
the table.
"Wow, are we going to eat all this?" he asked, sitting on a chair with
a high wooden back.
"NO, WE ARE!" came a chorus of voices behind him.
………………..
They all had different hair, they all had different faces, but they were
all wearing pink.
The four new princesses whispered and giggled, then two of them pulled
out a long golden skipping rope and tied Sam to the chair.
"Wh..wh.. what d’you do that for?" stammered Sam.
"Because!" said the princesses all together. "Now, how about these pancakes!"
The princesses helped themselves to pancakes and honey and fresh maple
syrup. Mmm they were so delicious. Not that Sam would know; his hands were
tied behind the chair.
"Yummy, yummy, yummy!"
"Would the brave knight like a pancake?" asked the red haired princess,
waving a pancake dripping with honey under his nose.
"Oh, don’t be mean," said the brown haired princess. "Here, you can have
a bit of mine." And she dipped half a pancake in her puddle of maple syrup
and popped it on a plate in front of him.
"Oh dear, you haven’t got any hands," she added and they all giggled mercilessly.
…………….
Sam was furious and he leant over and picked up the half pancake with his
teeth. It tasted yummy but the maple syrup dribbled down his chin.
"Eeeeuuuuw!" squealed the princesses.
"Don’t they teach you any manners at knight school?"
"What shall we do with him?"
"Lock him in the dungeon!"
"Tickle him!"
"Kiss him!"
"Eeeeuuuuw!"
Sam dropped the rest of the pancake and it landed syrup side down on his
armour.
Typical!
Princess Sarah took a napkin and wiped the syrup off his chest.
‘Tha… thank you," said Sam.
"Sarah loves Sa-am! Sarah loves Sa-am!" chanted the others.
"No I don’t!" she said, and just to prove it she tied the napkin round
his mouth so he couldn’t even talk.
"Let’s lock him up!" cried Princess Rubella.
They all dragged Sam and his chair over to a huge wooden door and locked
him in the cupboard.
"Mmnhh!" he roared, but nobody could hear him.
"Hey, what shall we do now?"
"Let’s play dress-up!"
"Yeeeaahh!"
And off they went to the royal dressing room.
Princess Rubella dressed up as a lion tamer with a chair, a whip and a
long black moustache;
Princess Megan as a mermaid with a shiny silvery tail.
Princess Hannah was a witch with a pointy black hat and a spider’s web
shawl;
Princess Emma was a chimney sweep with pretend dirt on her face;
and Princess Sarah was a servant girl with a black dress and white shawl
and little rosy cheeks.
"OK, let’s play hide and seek. You guys hide and I’ll count."
Megan covered her eyes and began to count to a hundred.
Rubella crept up the stairs and into the closet in her pink bedroom.
Emma ran downstairs into the courtyard and hid behind a flowerpot.
Hannah… hesitated, looked around, then saw a suit of armour on the back
wall and hid right behind it.
Sarah snuck along the corridor back down to the dining room. As she tiptoed
around the corner she bumped right into Ponsonby, the King’s butler.
"Where are you going Girl?"
Princess Sarah was surprised, people normally called her your highness,
not "girl" - and then she remembered she was wearing servant clothes.
"Just fetching a glass of apple juice for Princess Rubella."
"Very well." As soon as the butler had turned the corner, she opened the
drawer in the beautiful dresser next to the cupboard they’d locked Sam in.
She unlocked the door to rescue him.
"Help get me out of here..." he tried to say, but it sounded more like
mmmgh euh me eughahur.
She undid the napkin from his face.
"Thank you so much, miss. Just wait until I get my hands on those princesses…
Hang on a minute, you’re the one who…"
"Look I’m helping you escape aren’t I!"
"Ok," he said. "Thanks. Hey can you play Kick the Pig’s Bladder?"
"Maybe one day," she said, "but not right now. I can hear Megan coming.
Hurry up, I think the stables are that way."
Sam picked up his sword and burst through the door. He jumped over the
barrier and saw that the drawbridge was just being raised. He ran straight
at it and leapt to the other side of the moat, just in time.
A guard shouted "Oy! What do you think you’re doing!"
The guard started to chase him – but there was Macaroni, ready and waiting.
Sam unhooked his rope, jumped on his back and … and… and… they’re off …
through the wooden gate, along the huge stone wall and back through the
forest.
And there, in the clearing, Sir Toby, Sir Jake, Sir Ben, Sir Ollie, Lord
Luke and Lady Caitlyn were playing Kick the Pig’s Bladder in the Goal.
What do you call it again? Snacker? Sicker?
Oh yes that’s it, thank you.
"Where’ve you been?" cried Sir Jake, "We’ve been looking for you everywhere.
We started without you."
Should he tell them that he was captured by 5 pink princesses?
What would they think?
What do you think?
Yeah, right!
"It’s a long story", he said. "Some other time. Now who’s team am I on?"