A Shocking Disclosure and Suggested Cure. The following is, as accurately as possible, the contents of a letter from the DXer General of the World, (whose name must be withheld, for security reasons) to Timmy The Twerp, the now famous and quintessential List Louse. "My dear Timmy, It is with profound regret that I inform you that you have been found to be a carrier of the deadly "List Virus." Your callous disregard for the safety and health of your fellow hams, has, after many months of scrupulous surveillance by the International Committee for the Extermination of Lists (I.C.E.L.) been brought to my attention. Your operating habits have been carefully scrutinized and, sad though it is, you have tested positive. The ICEL has asked me to urge you to desist or to practice "Safe" QSO's in view of the fact that the deadly virus is spreading at an alarming rate throughout the ham bands. You have been found to be spreading (you have been observed and overheard during casual contacts) this ugly and deadly plague, infecting your fellow hams by bragging about your innumerable contacts. Anti-Listers are working round-the-clock in the hope of discovering, before it is too late, an anti-List vaccine. It is now generally accepted that our once respected Honour Roll has become seriously devalued by the spread of the List Virus. Even some of the pure-of-heart DXers have even been known to have abandoned the sport in fear of acquiring this fatal disease. DX brothels, along with their retinue of aggressive pimps, are spreading like festering sores on our precious bands. So Timmy, before you are banished to the List Louse Motel we urge you to give up this cheaters lifestyle, but, if you find that impractical, considering your predilections, then please practice Safe Qso's. Recent, but premature scientific findings indicate an Anti-List aerosol spray will soon be introduced to the ham fraternity. Spraying the shack, in the early stages, seems to retard the infection. You might also look into the introduction of Anti-List lozenges, designed for temporary relief, and soon to become available, without prescription, at your local ham store. 73 your friend, DXer General of the World." The foregoing is a fictional account in the saga of Timmy The Twerp. Please feel free to re-transmit or mail the above episode to any and all interested in stamping out List operations. 73 Authors name, call, address supplied upon request in writing.
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