5 Elements - Giving Girls The EDGE
Parents

"The right encouragement at the right time can be absolutely life changing."
    Catherine Dee - The Girls' Book of Wisdom

WHAT IS SELF-ESTEEM

Self-esteem has been defined as "The experience of being capable of meeting life's challenges and being worthy of happiness." This concept of self-esteem developed by the National Association of Self-Esteem is founded on the premise that self-esteem is strongly connected to a sense of competence and worthiness and the relationship between the two as one lives life.

ISSUES

  • Self-esteem is a powerful force, which will impact a girl's success and happiness throughout her life
  • More than any other factor, self-esteem or self-image influences our attitudes about who we are, what we can or cannot do, how we cope with problems and how we get along with others
  • In order for girls to have a strong sense of self, they need to feel good about who they are … and not just how they look - the focus of popular culture today
  • Young girls are beginning to judge their bodies by idealized "adult" standards at an earlier age. While 77% of 8-year old girls said they liked the way they looked, only 48% of 12-year olds did

Like The Way I Look:



If girls don't feel good about themselves, they devalue who they are with significant consequences:
  • Eating disorders
  • Alcohol and drug abuse
  • Violence against themselves and others
  • Depression and even suicide
Poor self-esteem can also be manifested in:
  • Self-focus
  • Poor academic achievement
  • Jealousy
  • Distorted view of themselves and others around them
  • Defensive behaviour
  • Resistance to change or new challenges
  • Promiscuity

AGE COMPRESSION

Age or developmental compression - the phenomenon of kids "getting older, younger."
Maturation occurs in three key areas:
  • Cognitive - the development of logic skills, academic knowledge and discipline
  • Affective/emotional - social, moral and emotional development; an understanding of family, peers and the self
  • Physical - development of strength and co-ordination and sexual maturation
  • While girls tend to be accelerating in maturity physically and cognitively … they are developing at a "normal" rate emotionally (i.e. more in range with historical trends)

WHAT SHAPES SELF-ESTEEM

    The Effects of Puberty
  • For some, self-esteem starts to slip when they begin puberty. That's because the body undergoes rapid, hormonal changes. These rapid changes and the desire for acceptance make it difficult for teens to judge whether they are "normal".
    The Effects of Culture
  • Media images from television, movies and advertising may affect self-esteem. Teens may struggle with media images of women who are unrealistically thin. In fact, research has shown that 3 minutes spent looking at a fashion magazine caused 70% of participants to feel depressed or guilty.
    The Effects of School
  • Teens may experience negative comments and hurtful teasing from classmates and peers which can definitely affect a girl's sense of herself. But, it's important to point out that the girls who are making the mean and hurtful comments do so because of low self-esteem.

WHAT THE EXPERTS ARE SAYING

Clinical experts on teen issues have studied and documented current societal pressures, the need for a proactive approach to enhancing self-esteem and the significant consequences (emotional as well as economic) of a poor self-image.
  • "Compressed" children are seeking out spaces where they can feel some sense of relief from the drive (in themselves and in their environment) to become adult-like at an earlier and earlier age…Specifically, they need people, places and products in their lives - which, respecting their cognitive and physical sophistication, that also gives them the emotional support they need to manage compression. It's in managing the challenges of being a "kid" today, that they want help.

    Dr. Jennifer Scott - Applied Research & Consulting

  • Something dramatic happens to girls in early adolescence … studies show that girls' IQ scores drop and their math and science scores plummet. They lose their resilience and optimism and become less curious and inclined to take risks. They lose their assertiveness, energetic and "tomboyish" personalities and become more deferential, self-critical and depressed.

    Mary Pipher, PhD. - Reviving Ophelia

  • "There are many pressures on girls now to be good in school and good in sports, to look beautiful and be a perfect person … and existing programs are wholly inadequate to deal with the growing problems (associated with these pressures)."

    Dr. Jennifer Jones - Professor of Psychiatry, University of Toronto

  • We're doing quite a poor job of preparing youngsters for the life
    tasks that they face …"

    Merryl Pear - Director of National Eating Disorder Information Centre

  • The way that a girl handles adolescence can have long reaching implications … "Without some help, the loss of wholeness, self-confidence and self-direction can last well into adulthood."

    Mary Pipher, PhD - Reviving Ophelia

  • "New interactive approaches, which focus on self-esteem and are based on contemporary theories of female development, appear to be promising. These programs focus on the positive aspect of the self and validate girls' experiences and feelings while providing them with an understanding of the societal pressures they face."

    Canadian Medical Association Journal


Out of the significant research relevant to girls' issues, focus groups, discussions with educators, countless parents and girls and the positive findings by the Canadian Medical Association,
5 Elements was created.

What are the Benefits of Positive Self-Esteem
    and the 5 Elements Programs For Girls

Feeling good about themselves, enables them to be the person they want to be, enjoy others more fully, offer more to themselves and to the world.
  • Respect for themselves and others
  • Overcome their self-imposed limits and limiting beliefs
  • Switch self-talk from negative to positive
  • Accept challenges and overcome adversity - A "Can Do" Attitude
  • Handle conflicts in a peaceful way
  • The ability to set attainable, realistic goals (not seeking perfection, nor being crippled by fear and not setting any goals)
  • Trust in their feelings and thoughts

For Parents

  • More peace and co-operation in your relationships with your daughter
  • Peaceful resolution of conflicts
  • A more responsible daughter
  • Joy of seeing your daughter confident, happy and carefree
PARENT WORKSHOPS

Help your girls go from shy to shining

According to a recent survey, 85% of parents say they talk to their children often about relationships; but only 44% of their teens say they have those same conversations.

If you're interested in learning how to better understand and communicate with your daughters, our Parent Workshops might be the solution for you. We'll discuss relevant and current topics from setting appropriate boundaries and resolving conflict to body image and Internet culture. And, of course, what parents can do to enhance their daughter's self-esteem. Our workshops afford you the opportunity to learn from and discuss relevant issues with the experts as well as other responsible parents in a comfortable environment.

Embrace your daughter. Embrace her growth. Embrace 5 Elements.

MSN or is it just Mean Spirited Name Calling........

Bullying has moved from the school yard to the Internet. Has your daughter or any of her friends dealt with the painful experience of cyber bullying? Do you feel a little helpless with the fact that her on-line knowledge may be greater than your own? Our workshop on the Internet will give you the opportunity to understand why kids spend so much time on the Internet and will provide a glimpse into the MSN "culture" and popular website such as Myspace.com. You'll receive information on how to deal with cyber bulling and keeping your daughter safe in an on-line environment.

Effective Communication

Communication starts with thoughts, and we use words, vocal cues and body language to convey them. Selective listening, filtering information, negative reinforcement of each other's limiting behaviours, can all add up to many of the problems encountered between parents and girls. This workshop will show you the most powerful techniques and tools for effective and active listening to break through conditioned patterns of interaction and response. You will learn what your own communication style is and to understand and appreciate your daughter's unique behavioural style. Learn to adapt your own in order to communicate more effectively in order to enhance trust, collaboration and co-operation.

Body Image

How does your daughter feel about the way she looks? Just right or constantly comparing herself to the images that she sees on television, in movies or magazines. This workshop will explore the multiple influences of body image and how you can help your daughter develop a sense of confidence and comfort with her physical self. This workshop will be partly structured with an eye to responding to your questions and issues. When you enroll, please include any specific questions you may have.

Discipline shouldn't be painful

"Discipline isn't what you do when children misbehave; It's what you do so they won't". Our workshop on discipline outlines various disciplinary styles and introduces building blocks to enhancing your relationship with your child as well as information on raising a responsible and principled daughter.

Self-Esteem

Parents play a critical role in supporting a daughter's road to healthy self-esteem. This workshop outlines some of the common traps that parents fall into such as defeating language and rescuing behaviour. We'll look at some of the ways that parents can contribute to their daughter's successful and happy future.

Workshop Information

Parent Workshops are 7:30 p.m - 9:30 p.m. The cost is $50.00 for one parent; $65.00 for two parents which includes materials and refreshments. Additionally, you can attend all five workshops for $200.00 for one parent ; $275.00 for two parents.

Our Workshops will be scheduled throughout the fall, winter and spring and we will be adding additional workshops on an ongoing basis. The Fall schedule will be posted the first week of September.
If you would like to be informed of upcoming events, please e-mail us at 5Elements@sympatico.ca.

Embrace your daughter. Embrace her growth.
Embrace 5 Elements.