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Stop the Abuse, Start the Healing
Stories of scarred souls, battered bodies, and our pummelled planet monopolize the news. People are constantly abusing themselves, each other, animals and their first mother, Mother Earth. How can people stop the abuse and start healing?
People have a tendency to treat others, themselves and their environment as they have been treated. Lack of responsibility and respect on a collective as well as an individual level are key contributors to mammoth problems in our society such as childhood sexual abuse, self abuse and desecration of our environment. Individuals must be held responsible for healing themselves and becoming self-respecting regardless of how badly they have been mistreated in the past. We as a society must support individuals in doing so. Then and only then can people contribute fully to the betterment of society and the world rather than to its degradation through their woundedness.
"Men who have been abused are more apt to lash out violently against others; women turn their anger inward against themselves."1 Both continue the cycle of abuse. Marlene Moore, the first Canadian woman to be labeled a "dangerous offender" never harmed anyone as much as she hurt herself. In their book Rock-A-Bye-Baby: A Death Behind Bars Anne Kershaw and Mary Lasovich examine the tragic circumstances which led Marlene Moore to violence, self-mutilation
and suicide.
Why do people become abusive and why do many not heal? Violent crime, self abuse and the rape of the world stem from some form of childhood stress and trauma that has produced deep-seated feelings of rage, hurt, helplessness, powerlessness and apathy. Further stress and trauma experienced in adulthood can serve as a trigger which intensifies people's reaction to the painful past as issues which have been buried long ago begin to resurface. Many mask this pain with "addictions" by overworking, partying (using alcohol and drugs), overeating, starving, self-mutilation or inflicting pain on others. These destructive, obsessive and compulsive behaviours can serve to temporarily blot out or cope with chronic emotional pain while simultaneously multiplying pain. When people try desperately to deny the existence or origin of their pain inadvertently they allow it to become cancerous.
The only way men and women can put a stop to criminally abusive, self-abusive and environmentally abusive behaviour is to confront the cause of their symptoms head-on.
It takes phenomenal strength and courage to own, face and feel one's pain. When people choose to resolve and release pain they choose to stop the cycle of abuse and start the healing of themselves, each other, animals and Mother Earth. And then this world will be a better place for all beings who make it their home.
1 Rock-A-Bye-Baby: A Death Behind Bars by Anne Kershaw and Mary Lasovich
Copyright © by April A. Severin
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