Personal coaching  by phone, Skype video,  or in Toronto

First, if you are contemplating phone coaching, do you have a place where you can focus on a telephone session without distractions or interruptions? If not, in-office coaching or counselling would be much better.

I am severely depressed and/or I have thoughts of suicide.

I am / may be suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder, severe anxiety, or another psychiatric disorder.

I have /may have a personality disorder.

I am anorexic or bulimic. 

I have a long-standing alcohol or habit problem.

I allow myself to be abused.

I have attention deficit disorder (ADD).

If yes  work on practical issues much like coaching might indeed be helpful, but you should work with a psychotherapist knowledgeable about your problem, in most cases in the office.  See Psychotherapy Toronto.

If no which of these best describes your situation or concern?

I've made it--now when do I get to enjoy the good life? (answer A)

I never have enough time. (answer A)

As a newly retired person I should be having a ball--but I am bored. (Answer A)

I have not been myself since the attack on the World Trade Centre. (Answer E)

I used to be pretty relaxed, but for the past year I have been under stress. (answer A)

I have never been good at relaxing. (answer E)

I am not living up to my potential. (answer B) 

I am not where I wanted to be at this age. (answer B)

My  spouse / partner and I had a great relationship for several years, but we always seem to be fighting lately. (answer D)

Since I retired my wife/husband and I have not been getting along. (Answer D)

My marriage / relationship is not fulfilling. (answer D)

I have never had a satisfying relationship. (answer E)

I always seem to be doing what other people want. (answer B)

I feel like I don't know where I'm going. (answer B)

I know what I want, but I don't seem to be able to get it. (answer A)

I haven't been able to get back on track after relocating/ marriage/ divorce/ retirement/ bereavement/ etc. (answer B)

I just don't feel as motivated as I used to. (answer B)          

I want to do a better job of standing up for myself. (answer B)

I am experiencing insomnia/ I don't think I'm getting enough sleep. (answer B)

I have recently developed a problem behaviour that I would like to get rid of. (answer B)

 I am a successful and happy person, but I have started having panic attacks. (answer C)

I believe that I would benefit from hypnotherapy/ guided imagery /guided meditation/ Neuro-linguistic Programming. (answer C)

Answers:

A.    Yes! Telephone counselling or personal coaching would probably be right for you. Should you find that an unconscious block prevents you from going all the way towards your goal, consider in-office psychotherapy at that point if it is available to you.

B.    It would be best to get an assessment with a psychotherapist first, to try to determine what lies behind the problem and whether telephone counselling would be appropriate.

C.    This should be done by a qualified psychotherapist in-office. Follow-up work if needed could probably be done by phone.

D.    Good marital counselling, perhaps combined with individual telephone work with the same counsellor, would be more efficient and more certain of success.  If that is not obtainable where you live, telephone counselling with a couples counsellor or relationship coach would be the next best. (See Relationship  coaching or  Toronto Marriage Counselling).

E.     In-office psychotherapy would be the best bet, but if that is not possible telephone counselling with a qualified psychotherapist is well worth a try.

(This is not a standardized test. It was devised by psychotherapist Beth Mares based on her knowledge and experience.)

If you plan to seek psychotherapy,  see Beth's website, Marriage Counselling and Psychotherapy of Toronto , which gives information about psychotherapy and a guide to resources in the Greater Toronto Area.

If you plan to seek coaching or telephone counselling, move on to 

Delineating your goals

What objective or objectives are most important to you? The following list is suggestive.

Better Relationships

 a more satisfying marriage or relationship

a happier home life - better relations with family

more supportive friendships - etc.

A Healthy Lifestyle

getting organized

balance between work and home life

good sleep - healthy diet - exercise you enjoy

laughter and play - love and friendship - financial security

Enhanced Interpersonal Skills

communication skills - leadership -assertiveness - anger management

dealing with difficult people - social situations - parenting

Career satisfaction 
(see  Career Satisfaction in the New Economy for further details)

This website belongs to Beth Mares, clinical member, Ontario Society of Psychotherapists