Looking for True Love : Fairy Disenchantment's Registers of Lovers
In the
book "The Dream of the Red Chamber" (also known as The
Story of the Stone),
author
Cao Xue Qin wanted to "disenchant" or warn the world as to
the different kinds of love.
He
implied there is only one kind which should be considered as True
Love.
In a dream,
and under mythical circumstances, the main character of the novel,
teen-age
boy Jia
Bao Yu, met the Fairy Disenchantment in the Land of Illusions. She
showed him three
(3)
"registers" each containing the names and "the
happenings in life" of 12 girls in his clan.
Each girl
represents a kind of love: True Love, Conscientious Love, ... etc.
From the
stories
which are unfolding in the novel, the reader should know the
characteristics of the
different
kinds of love, and should be able to distinguish True Love from the
other kinds.
In the
novel itself, Bao Yu only caught a glimpse of the first part of the
registers. The names
of
the girls he saw are in Italics. For the rest, Cao Xueqin
intended to complete the table
at
the very end of the novel to show all 3 registers and the names of
all 36 girls.
Unfortunately, the novel was never "completed" to such a
state. We are attempting to
complete
the table for him, more than 200 years late! (The novel was published
in 1791).
This is our
first attempt to complete the registers and we welcome "Dream of
the Red
Chamber"
scholars and fans for their suggestions and comments. In our opinion,
it is better
late
than never to have this table because even today, many people are
confused about
what
is True Love and what is not.
We
know that author Cao was very serious about this 'knowing what is
true love' business
because
he had thought about naming his NOVEL 'A Precious Guide for the
Romantic' !
To make any
sense about the names, you have to have read the entire novel.
English
translations
of this novel can be found in Amazon.com's web-site. The spellings of
the
names of the
girls here follow the English translation by David Hawkes -- The
Story
of the
Stone in 5 volumes, published by Penguin.
If you do
not like to read novels, or you do not have the time, then look at
this page
following
the table. We have compiled a list of "definitions" about
the various kinds of love.
Kinds of Love |
Primary Register |
Secondary Register |
Tertiary Register |
Lin Dai Yu |
Caltrop |
Skybright |
|
Xue Bao Chai |
Xing Xiu Yan ? |
Aroma |
|
Jia Yuan Chun |
Patience |
Musk |
|
Jia Tan Chun |
Golden |
Parfumee |
|
Shi Xiang Yun |
Xue Bao Qin |
Oriole |
|
Adamantina |
Chess |
Sapientia |
|
Jia Ying Chun |
You Er Jie |
Sunset |
|
Jia Xi Chun |
Faithful |
Silver |
|
Wang Xi Feng |
Autumn |
Moonbeam |
|
Qiao Jie ? |
You San Jie |
Charmante |
|
Li Wan |
Grandmother Jia |
Nightingale |
|
Qin Shi |
Xia Jin Gui |
Wife of Bao Er |
True
Love:
True love is acceptance, committal, mutual and without any pre or
post conditions. The
love
between Lin Dai Yu and Jia Bao Yu is considered to be True Love. The
love between
Jia
Baoyu and Skybright is also considered to be True Love. Note the
personal sacrifice
of
Skybright. Caltrop loved even the un-lovable Xue Pan. Just saying or
hearing I love you
is
not good enough because talk is cheap. Action in mutual commitment is
essential, as we
can
see in the novel.
Conscientious Love:
There is one difference between True Love and Conscientious Love.
Conscientious Love
has
CONDITIONS attached. Aroma said to Bao Yu, "If you change three
things, I'll stay."
Bao
Chai said to Bao Yu, "If you study hard, I'll be happy."
The problem is, a person is
extremely
hard to change. In the book, both Baochai and Aroma had "lost"
Bao Yu's love
at
the end.
Graceful Love:
True kindness, lots of good deeds done, but it is not True Love and
not to be mistaken
as
such. The prime example here is Patience who is so kind and
thoughtful to everyone
around
her. She is an extremely NICE person.
Lost Love:
Love which was once there but is now gone. It is absolutely futile to
do anything to
try
to save it. It is better to put it in the jewel box of memory. Life
has to go on.
We
have seen too many examples of estranged husbands stalking and
killing their divorced
or
separated wives. Her love has gone, and there is nothing he can do to
bring it back.
Warm Love:
Lots of laughter, lots of funny jokes, easy to get along with, and
easy to fall in love with.
But
is it True Love? Xiang Yun is a warm, lively chatterbox with a great
sense of humor and
she
can be a merciless teaser. She "loves" everybody, not just
you.
Fatal
or Tragic Love:
How can anyone explain it? Fate has been extremely unkind and very
little can be done.
An
example is the girl who contracted AIDS on her very first sexual
encounter! In our story,
from
the moment when Chess had her liaison with her lover in the Prospect
Garden (we have
our
Garden of Eden, too), a series of bad luck, errors and
misunderstandings led to her ouster
from
the Garden and suicide. The tragedy was complete when her lover
killed himself as well.
Foolish Love:
Have you not seen enough of people who are staying in a relationship,
HOPING that
EVENTUALLY
things would get better. In this world of ours, they seldom do. Have
the
wisdom to
recognize it and have the courage to get out of it as soon as
possible. You Er Jie's
misplaced
hope for a good relationship with Jia Lian and Sunset's dashed hope
for Jia Huan
should
disenchant us.
Unexpressed Love:
Outwardly cold and apathetic, but we have to look closer to find out
whether she is really
not
interested in you or that the love is merely unexpressed. It may
require some trigger for
her
to express her love, as in the case of Silver.
False Love:
Watch out for the person who pretends to love, but who actually does
not. Included in the
list
is Xi Feng, who pretends to be so loving. Many people had been fooled
by her.
Obsessive Love:
Needless to say, Obsessive Love centers on the possession of the
person who is the
object
of pursuit. You San Jie WANTS to marry no one but Liu Xiang Lian.
Charmante wants
no
one but Jia Qiang. You can see the tragedy of You San-jie, written so
beautifully in the book.
She
does not care whether Liu Xiang Lian loves her or not, or whether he
is even interested!
Parental Love:
It is similar to True Love but the object of love is the child or
children. Complete
acceptance,
unconditional, full committal and personal sacrifice are all there.
Nightingale
is
listed here because although she is only the maid of Dai Yu, She has
devoted herself to
her,
and has tried even to look for a husband for her.
Adulterous Love:
Ah! The forbidden fruit and the fleeting but intense sensual pleasure
... But it is not
going
to last because God and society do not allow it. Both our heroines of
Adulterous Love
Qin
Shi and Bao Er's Wife hanged themselves when their secrets were
blown.
For those of you who can read Chinese, the following is
the Chinese version of the table
This page created: May 5, 2002 |
See also our Chinese
Culture page |
Note the
background image: With hot tears streaming down her face and with
complete acceptance, Grandmother Jia
welcomes her orphan grand-daughter Lin Dai Yu, showing 'grand'
parental love, while
other maids and ladies-in-waiting are looking on.
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