"Thus open the gates of paradise."

In this issue

Raisa Gorbachev

06 Apr 2002

20 September 1999

Mikhail and Raisa Gorbachev

It's never fun when a loved one dies. Never ever.

I have only dim memories of Raisa Gorbachev, just glimpses from television of her an her husband Mikhail meeting with Ronald and Nancy Reagan. What a match. Mikhail was a lawyer; Ronald, an actor. Raisa and Nancy were fashion plates. Although I have deep love for all things 80's, it's not a memory I cherish.

But as I said, it's always difficult saying goodbye. And so to ease the parting, I present the lyrics to a song by The Frantics called "Mrs. G". All transcription errors are mine, but the original thoughts wereby the Frantics: Rick Green, Dan Redican, Paul Chato, and Peter Wildman. Buy the CD and listen to it for yourself. It's only about $10.

Who that commie mommie?Don't you know it's Mrs. G
Who's all hot to Trotsky? Who else but Mrs. G?
She don't take no Bolshevik, not our Mrs. G
Who's the gal behind the man who invades Afganistan? It's Mrs. G

Legs as lovely as the Ukraine
Gives the time to KGB
When you see her from behind, it's not dogma on your mind.
Behind the iron curtain she's always flirtin', she's Gorbachev's one big buy.

Why do men wolf whiste? Don't you know it's Mrs. G
Who makes Moscow sizzle? Who else, but Mrs. G
Watch out for those missles, hello our Mrs. G
Loves readin' Solzhenitsyn 'cause she likes good fiction, that's Mrs. G

Yours is oh so sweet and pure, Raisa raise my temperature.
Worthy impressive, and to be kissed by that bitchin' communist
She's not too far from living like a czar, but don't call her a capitalist!

Who's that Commie Dearest? Don't you know it's Mrs. G
Who's the one we fearest? You know it's Mrs. G
From Calvin Klein to the Siberian gas line
Who can handle it all? Who else but Mrs. G?