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That sword, the mace, the crown shall sleep so soundly as the wretched slave.

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"That sword, the mace, the crown imperial shall sleep so soundly as the wretched slave."

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World Ends In Whimper

06 Apr 2002

And so loyal readers, we find ourselves at the start of a new day. Despite predictions to the contrary, there are still newspapers, and television, and the internet. My refrigerator continues to chill my food, and as an affluent North American, I am able to continue my lifestyle of consumption at the expense of those not as fortunate throughout the world. Globalism, thou art King.

Yesterday, the CBC took part in a round-the-world, round-the-clock program of New Year's Day celebrations. It started at 4:30 in the morning, and ended today, January 1 around 6 am. 26 hours of coverage, and I was riveted by almost every minute of it. It's another case of infotainment masquerading as news, and as I'm such a news hound, I just eat it up. Greetings from the high Arctic. And from India. Fireworks in the capital cities of Europe. In Jerusalem, hundreds of doves were released at midnight in Manger Square. And then the fireworks went off, right into the birds. It was pandemonium -- green sparks from the fireworks spiraling about, startling the birds who kept flying into the camera.

With God as my witness, I swear I thought turkeys could fly.

And then there was the at-home coverage. I think Kim Mitchell put it best when asked if he had a New Year's message for the country: "Be happy and pay your taxes." Excellent.

We at The Front Page wish you a very pleasant New Year. Long live the Queen.

Long live the Empire! Long live the Queen!