Another year, another film festival. Well-wishers always
ask the same questions when I return from the fray:
Did you see a lot of films?
Yes, sir. 39 bags full, sir.
How many did you walk out of?
Just one: "Vulgar". It was rank.
What was your favourite?
"State And Main" by David Mamet. [This engenders
blank looks.] He did "The Winslow Boy"? "The
Spanish Prisoner"? "Glengarry Glen Ross"?
"Things Change"? "Wag The Dog"? [More
I try again: My favourite short film was called "The
Heart Of The World" by Guy Maddin. [Who?] Winnipeg
filmmaker. He did "Archangel" and "Twilight Of
The Ice Nymphs". It's 4 fabulous minutes of German
Did you see anyone famous?
Well. Apparently I have a very different idea of fame from
everyone else. For a while I gamely said, "Why yes
indeed. I saw...
Anthony Minghella (Director)
Arsineé Khanjian (Actor)
Atom Egoyan (Director)
Charlotte Rampling (Actor)
Jane Horrocks (Actor)
Kiyoshi Kurosawa (Director)
Stellan Skarsgård (Actor)
Tadanobu Asano (Actor)
Vanessa Redgrave (Actor)
That's when people say, "No, no, no. Did you see
anyone famous?" ("You know, like 'Jingle
Bells' and 'Ho Ho Ho' and presents for pretty girls").
Ah. No. I did not see Al Pacino, Gwyneth Paltrow, Robert
DeNiro, Ben Kingsley, Richard Gere, Sarah Jessica Parker, or
Is your butt (or: are your eyes) sore?
It was (they were).
These are my journal notes. They're not particularly good
film reviews, and I don't often make a point of being very
objective. Q&A sessions are recorded as faithfully as I
could, but are probably not exact quotations. I note
whereever I have extensively paraphrased. You want better
accuracy? Buy me a digital camcorder. And while you're at it,
could you get me a danish? There's a good chap.