Canadian Commentary: Economics

New Names for New Banks

April 1999

Here are some suggested names and slogans for Canada’s new, merged ultra-banks.

THE ROYAL BANK OF MONTREAL

Too big to provide good service, too small to compete globally

THE ROYAL MONTREAL BANK

We’re not royal, and we’re not based in Montreal

RMBANX

Now we can screw you *Royally*

THE IMPERIAL DOMINION BANK

We kept the old-fashioned sounding names because they sound grander

THE IMPERIAL TORONTO BANK

Toronto Rules!

or

Beg for money, worms

THE IMPERIAL BANK OF TORONTO

The attitude is imperial, the money’s in Toronto

or

Even more reasons to hate us

THE TORONTO COMMERCE BANK

Who cares about the rest of the country?

THE CANADIAN BANK OF TORONTO

What’s good for Toronto is good for Canada

THE DOMINION OF COMMERCE BANK

Business rules. Forget the customers

What about the Bank of Nova Scotia?

THE BANK OF NOVA SCOTIA

Don’t we look small and friendly now?

or

The fifth wheel spins fastest

or

Wait for us!

Perhaps there could be one more merger ...

THE NATIONAL BANK OF NOVA SCOTIA

We should never have joined confederation

But really, to compete globally, the banks need to be even bigger ...

THE ROYAL NATIONAL CANADIAN IMPERIAL DOMINION BANK OF TORONTO MONTREAL AND NOVA SCOTIA COMMERCE

Still not satisfied

April 23

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