Enterprise

Some comments I posted on-line in response to the premiere episode...

A secret recording from the Enterprise production offices:

"... MORE sex?  Look, we already changed that scene so they're arguing about the Captain's intentions from stalls in the Officers' Showers...

"... NO, c'mon, get real, nobody would buy that.  Even if there WAS only one stall, they wouldn't share it, they'd take turns...

"... Well, maybe we can come up with some 'medical reason' for them to grope each other.  I mean, 'medical reasons' worked to justify 37D of 9's outfit..."

An Enterprise scene we're not likely to see

"Well, Sub-commander, since you ask, I have to say that at least part of the reason for the way people are reacting to you is probably, well, the outfits that you wear.  Now I understand that our environment is uncomfortably cool and damp for you, and the insulating body suits help.  But the body suits by themselves are, well, kind of distracting.  Maybe that's because humans don't have the mental discipline that you're used to from your own people, I don't know.  But I do know that people would probably start treating you a bit more professionally if you were to wear some kind of uniform, or at least something a bit more formal-looking, over the body suits."

Decontamination scene: a consistent explanation
 

TUCKER: We have to go through this again, doctor?!

PHLOX: You two do seem to keep getting yourselves contaminated, don't you? Carnivorous lichen spores this time, very dangerous unless they're neutralized promptly.

T'POL: My scanners do not detect any such spores.

PHLOX: Well, that just shows you that my medical scanners are more sensitive for this kind of thing, doesn't it? Now here are your containers of decontamination gel -- one for you... and --

TUCKER: Different containers? ... Those gels are different. Why?

PHLOX: I did a bit more research, and discovered that I could improve the effectiveness of the decontamination by using slightly different formulations which interact with your respective biochemistries. This one, for you, Lieutenant, to put on Sub-commander T'Pol, has honey in it... and this one, Sub-commander, for use on him, has n'gaan essence.

TUCKER: What's... "gan"?

T'POL: N'gaan. It is a Vulcan plant, used primarily as a flavouring agent but also employed occasionally in natural remedies. Applied topically, its essence acts as a mild stimulant, providing conflicting simultaneous sensations of warmth and cold. [She stares at Phlox.] What is honey?

TUCKER: It's, um, a substance produced by bees. That's an Earth insect. It's used as a sweetener. And, um, also in some natural remedies. It's, um, very sweet, and has a strong sweet smell. And it's also, um, very sticky. [He stares at Phlox.]

PHLOX: Good, then, in you go. Remember, you're off-duty on medical grounds until you've completed the decontamination, so there's no rush -- make sure you do a thorough job. Oh, and I've put a padded bench into the decontamination room, in case you want to -- what's the phrase? "Take a load off your feet"? Now if you'll excuse me, I need to make sure that my medical scanners are recording properly, and then get back to my reading about endocrine systems.

SATO (INTERCOM): Dr. Phlox -- incoming message from a Mr. Thellin of the... "Plain Brown Wrapper Society"? Acknowledging receipt of --

PHLOX: I'll take it in my office, thank you, Ensign. Excuse me.


 

Copyright (C) 2001 by Joel Polowin. Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this material in any non-profit medium provided that its content is not altered and that this notice is appended. I would appreciate receiving a copy of any publication in which it appears: Joel Polowin / 18 Norice St. / Nepean, Ont. / CANADA / K2G 2X5

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