Home Priapism Kit!!!

Originally posted on September 15th, 2002, to the news.admin.net-abuse.email newsgroup.

NOTE: This is a JOKE, not real spam, and fortunately, everyone who read it seems to have understood that. It is, basically, a slightly-exaggerated combination of bits from some of the more obnoxious bits of spam that have filled my mailboxes.


From: Lantz <lantz@woodywoodpeckr.com>
Newsgroups: news.admin.net-abuse.email
Subject: Home priapism kit!!!
Date: Sun, 15 Sep 2002 18:44:31 -0400

For Men Who Love Too Much, and the People Who Love Them!

Kit contains:

-- Synthetic Human Growth Hormone
-- Herbal Viagra
-- Breast Enhancement Cream (to use on your partner)
-- Free access to porn websites (for those who can't find enough to
      meet their needs) -- includes teenage farm animals!

-- Botox injector (to lock it in the upright position)

-- Herbal Kiff (to prevent the discomfort and inconvenience of heart 
      attacks)

WARNING: Do not use the Botox before you use the other kit components
or results may be disappointing.

Go to: www.woodywoodpecker.com

What can I say about the concept? Only an idiot would set out to afflict himself with priapism; only an utter sleazebag would attempt to sell it to him. (Are there really men that stupid, and spammers that sleazy? Do you really have to ask..?) Fortunately, an injection of Botox would not have the intended effect. Unfortunately, the actual effect would probably be, well, disappointing.

Walter Lantz was, of course, the creator of Woody Woodpecker.

Copyright (C) 2002 by Joel Polowin. Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this material in any non-profit medium provided that its content is not altered and that this notice is appended. I would appreciate receiving a copy of any publication in which it appears: Joel Polowin / 18 Norice St. / Nepean, Ont. / CANADA / K2G 2X5

jpolowinXYZZY@sympatico.ca but remove the XYZZY - it's a little magic to baffle the spambots.

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