A collection of other poems by Peter Karwacki

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Spinning Compass

Reincarnated from themselves
To an endless pergatory of unresolve
and a meaningless search for meaning
in everything and anything
Cursed by a restless heart with vague desires
They crossed the world to find themselves alone
Searching for something but finding nothing
Because they knew not what it was they sought
Spinning wheels with spinning compass
believed something, someday would save them
Agnostic skeptics adherent to nothing
Pessimistic cynics hoping for salvation
They of little faith, waited for a big score
For someone to ask them to dance
For someone to ask for their help were too busy searching to offer it
Curious and tempted by everthing new
they were distracted and child like, so human
saw the toy then played with the box
became a Jack of all trades yet a Master of none
A professional of nothing guilded to nothing
With attention spanning the age where grass was never green enough
and life was never full enough -had a spirit that was never happy enough
Never content to just be
passed each other like grey ships in the night
Oblivious like toddlers in a sandbox
busy in parallel play while life went on around them and without them
foreign correspondents busy taking notes
reporting the story but never being part of it
scanned ahead for the lost horizon for the sacred star
to guide them home

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This Small Acre

Did the sun ever shine so brightly on this acre - my lot in life
My eyes never saw the wonder of it all
The air was fresh and clear and thoughts were pure
And days passed in fullness and harmony with no regrets
The nights brought rest, and mornings fresh chance and hope
Laughing in those days of sunshine
We danced and our voices rang in song,
never so human were we
Just matchlights in darkness
like stars in vastness
passed the light of life and felt the heat of it
held its sum in our hands
where so many others had tried
yet could not yield to this power
had two hands and built nothing
and two legs to take them no where
with tongues what did they taste?
with their arms embraced no one
The heart was empty,
and still they loved no one.

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Night Pleasures

In deepest darkness of the night
what calls one to awaken
In nether regions stirs so slight,
their finger's path oft' taken
Warmth and comfort caress mind
leave earthly loads forsaken
where pleasures stream through probing find
remembered secrets hasten

Silken softness safe from sight
and heat releasing tension
Their rhythmic pulsing overbite
which builds before they lessen
Suddenly eyes fill with light
near higher plane's ascension
til sweeping climax fills the night
and sweet anticipation

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Three Women on the Trail

Alone in contemplation, out on silent nighttime skiis
Absconded from the city lights in soulful country peace
Scanning dull horizons as the negatives invert
light and darkness of the snow on mute and covered earth
Seeking confirmation desperate skeptics need to see
and trying hard to understand in moments breathlessly
Waiting for the answers which through faith will never come
But finding only snowflakes and the mystery where they're from

That emptiness could never last, and nature filled the void
Thoughts rush in to overcome the restless mind with noise
Projected on a mental screen where memories can be fixed
They lacked the shapes and sounds of day, as mind is playing tricks

Sensing something stiring - what was rising in his mind
were images that weren't alive, just illusions one may find
when frightened yet absurdly hope sensations may be real
If ghosts would rise from ghostly white a truth would be revealed

listening to a pounding heart, with nothing there but hope
A disappointing vacuum since faith left him years ago
Out on skiis with ghosts along he traveled not alone
three he found upon the trail, thank God one's still at home

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Tinnitus

Bells are ringing, - bells I fear
are bells that only I can hear
and day or night no silence clears incessant ringing in my ears
Bells are ringing, bells I hear won't cease until my madness nears
and even then may reappear in hell and ring my bells don't care
Ringing, ringing - always there with hands on ears won't disappear
I have no way to interfere the sound that ring's not in the air
What if the tones that I perceive are not just sounds inside of me
but all the things that fill the voids
That bounce around yet make no noise?
Or maybe its the universe! Like Big Bang echoing afterwards
A zillion years in outer space now returned to haunt my inner place
So who's to say that what I hear's not really ringing everywhere
and who's to know if what I feel's not shared
with they who hear them peel
But I just want the bells to stop
There's too much ringing round the clock
with only sleep or jazz to play
to help me make them fade away.
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Variety

Clock ticks and counterpoints, spices of life

Smooth joints and shaving knicks, peaceniks and strife
Weekends of gettaways, freedom at last
Weekdays of misery but all things must pass
Straight sons with highbrows, dullards with none
parents with children, singles and fun
Uptown and hightown, blue collar dives
Born into this world, then screwed up their lives
Give explanations, bring home the goods
send in the calvary, must 'do's and 'should's
Feelings in turmoil, passions unfurled
Headstrong while helpless, and new to the world
Years by the seaside, walks on the shore
Time in the city, busy once more
Choosing to stay put, playing the game
More things are changing than staying the same
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Wasting Time
Another day has come and gone
You're still not by my side
Another night has past us by
Look how we've wasted time!
Another story left untold who can I tell it to?
Another smile I'll never share
Not saved til I'm with you
Lonely hours passed silently
I'll wait to hear your voice
Stretching minutes ooze and hang
suspended by our choice
Dripping seconds down the hall
Footsteps on the stairs
Sounds of city buzzing round
remind me you're not there
Tell me this is making sense
on days I can't believe
Help me through the empty hours
so my heart won't be deceived
Sitting here I think of you
Its strange how nothing else
will come to mind with so much here
to occupy myself

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The Mirror Cracked
A first it seemed a simple task
cut glass again was all it asked
For cutting gave no message fast
as cutting glass the mirror cracked

Not once, not twice not three times last
so many times it made him laugh
because each time he scored the glass
along the cuts the mirror cracked

Again, again the cutter passed
along the cuts - the blade perhaps
was blunt or dull but always cast
by fate that caused the mirror to crack

But fate had warned that fortune lacked
for he who found his future smashed
no images reflecting back
all luck was gone with mirror cracked

Away cruel fate stop your attack
It matters not whats on the track
To what befalls he may adapt
If forewarned by mirror cracked

Fate had blown across his path
with shattered shards from cutting glass
and seven years have come and passed
forewarned was he by mirror cracked

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The Company of Friends

Down the Road the cars are lined up
Dogs are barking and the air is chilled
but up the drive there's voices rising
and in the barn, the hot tub's filled
The Lights are one - the music's pumping
So much to eat you'll want for nothing
and everywhere the glass is brimming
with beer and wine to ease your thoughts
You can dance alone or with the tribe
You don't need someone to dance beside
Cause everyone feels the beat inside
In the company of friends
Well it doesn't matter what friends you keep
Just as long as you have friends
and hope and pray the ties will bind
on through your life until the end
Just hold them close and show your love
as if on that your life depends
Cause nothing warms the soul
quite like it
when standing in the midst of friends
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Tell Me

Will you come and meet with me underneath the moon
In darkness bathed in lightness just like we used to do
Each cycle of the planet with silver orb in sky
was something I would wait for just knowing you'd be mine

Our fingers dripped with moonlight cast through the window sill
hair filled with golden firelight a memory haunts me still
My hands felt silken smoothness and softness of your skin
Returned by sweet caresses and the burning heat within
A vision in the temple of love illuminated
Would rise before the alter as we wildly consumated
Naked passion moved and pulsed together in the night
our heaving bodies drenched with sweat which shimmered in the light
And when we both were finished minds numb and bodies spent
Lying there as hearts beat down to synchopated rest
No sweeter moment has there been as drifting off to sleep
I felt your body next to mine and love ran true and deep
Such is the rush of temporal code that flashes
as I dream an image of us locked in time
we two will only see But dreams are not enough for me -
I need to know you're there wanting all the things I do
for my dream is meant to share
Tell me now you'll meet with me when luna cycles high
And shine yourself upon me as the starlight tumbles by
The world may spin in silence but we will join and fly
Far from the terra firma our souls ignited cannot die
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Night of Flames

They knelt at the alter of the temple of love
Humbled by the power of their moment
But driven by a passion that welled deep within It mattered not - their refusal was silent
Wide eyed and bewildered they found themselves there
And fire came upon them though their senses were clear
They wanted to be consumed by the heat that drew near
All other thoughts unclouded by fear Their need was so great and they could not say no
It was he that required it and her making it so
Now their bodies together and breathing as one
No mind for tomorrow their moment had come
No memories or plans, - no problems or cares
Just man meeting woman and love making there
And now is the secret that no one may know -
How could they have done this - where did their love go?
Were they too far from the love that they claimed that they knew
Or simply too tempted for their love to stay true?
So this is the story that plays out in time
The genie was out and the prayer beads unwind
Their life had been changing but they couldn't see
All the things that had happened were just meant to be
And questions remain with the clock ticking fast as
One night's encounter may vilify past
or life may move onward and friendship remain
leaving wet dreams and memories of their sweet night of flames
Will she be gentle - will he be insane?
The lovers that left them will see them again
And at that meeting their memories will wane
unless seeing the other stirs that which remained

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When Talking Stops

When the talking stops and silence roars
there's a new beginning, or a beginning of an end.
Minds communicate through deeds
then demonstrate through slamming doors, kisses, hugs
or a tremor and a shake nothing said speaks volumes

Voice arrests upon the lips caught hanging on the tongue
which waggles within its bay
Words move and twitch about shuddering like shock waves
Pain holds them knowingly for the hurt caused by their launch
would exceed the sounds , the shape of those thoughts
and the size of those dreams
But the memory of them bounces about the cranium
hitting high and low landing heavily on the heart
with a thud
Sadness comes on like anger turned inwards
Loneliness creeps in anguish
at what one should have done
but did not do!

An endless conversation followed by a moment of truth
Maniacal laughter and vacuous chatter
Fighting off silence with meaningless banter
a pregnant silence and an awkward pause
reach impossibly for the bottle of chemistry
and find another spark to hear the sound of the other's reassuring voice
and laugh or cry together again as friends.

If the world unfolds in its magnificence
words come to mind but are never spoken
Thoughts emerge though no words form
The eyes dream on without a thought ever being born
Seeds bubble up from the eternal from the hearts of all men always silent

Words may be choked back and swallowed whole
Thoughts that were never revealed seethe within
At first they won't come but then coming fast
suddenly they're not what was expected
Blazing off one's chest into another's breast
weight transferred from one's shoulders to their's will it rest
shooting darts of poison and hate
Stoccato words hitting like bullets, tearing at flesh and bone
cutting like a jagged knife blade, searing the ears and the heart too
Finally, the damage done, only bitter tears in the dead silence remain
If those words were not spoken which silence would be chosen again?

Blissful reflections and flickering candlelight with tinkling glasses
The whisper of sheets and soft kisses
After seeing the sunrise on a night of fascination
and warm glances
awakened by the realization of love
Nothing speaks volumes and they relish the moment
in each other's arms in precious silence.

Rocking on the back porch at home with no pretense
as too much is known finishing sentences before they've been sown
Their silence is golden for it's old they have grown
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The Finest Steel

Through the eyes into the soul a mystery lurks within
What motivates a man to do what most concede is sin
When voices call out in his brain the source of them unknown
guiding him to act upon dark messages intoned
Water dripping from his taps, a niggling pressure point
Bouncing off his beaten browe, of interest to Freud
Leading madly down a path from which there's no return
Crossed the line for ever more, redemption can't be earned
Did he fall or was he pushed?
At death we only guess
The kind of thing that shaped his mind,
and actions he expressed
What shoulders bore, what burden weighed, emotions that he'd feel
Determined that the sum of them could snap the finest steel
And what is more that no one knew his deepest inner thoughts
or if they knew discounted them
before he could be stopped
and of the ones who share the blame,
who pushed a bit to far
May never know just what they did, or even who they are!
They helped create the tortured soul
and triggered something deep
Some mother's son has killed again,
some victim's mother weeps
The strongest steel is made not borne in alchemy sublime
Forged to bend or hold an edge, resisting rust with time
Metallic blades though functional, whose metal may be fine
Will break if bent or struck too hard where hidden defects lie
Look within the eyes and see the mystery of the steel
Test its shining competence, touch lunacy's ordeal.
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Welcome Outlived

Uh oh he stayed too late Can he leave now and still save face?
This has gone for too long and his time has all run down
and he hopes he haven't caused her too much pain
Oh oh he thinks he's said too much can he just leave then still patch things up?
Well he rambled on for hours and its plain its all gone sour
Will she hate him or dismiss him when he's gone?
Oh no, he sees that he's got to go
Can he return - its hard to know
Well she said he made her sick
and now its all come down to this
Will she forgive him and let him back tomorrow

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Starting from Zero

From a very young age we've all heard the score
How one touches the flame then thereafter no more
But lessons in life are not so easily learned
when things turn against us not just our fingers get burned
True life is a game but its governed by inches and a choice of direction or a change in conditions Sometimes a lapse or a train is derailed
Sometimes a chance where all others have failed
But starting from scratch, each one does not know
where they have come from and where they will go
Thats just the way of the world somehow helping us grow
Still I'm outside not in, wondering why it is so
From the time we are born to the day that we die
We search all our lives for life's meaning and ask why
And learn to be more than we thought that we could be
our life then unfolds beyond what we could see
Unconstrained by concerns beyond that not controlled
Not waiting calmly until we grow old
What else could drive us beyond that which we know?
Knowledge is packaged and we pass it along
though no one can get it by just being born
So history repeats when we start having none
Since preconceived notions are commonly wrong
And we're slaves to perceptions as onwards we run.
we just start off from zero and take life as it comes
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Ode to Spring

Springtime is softly melting
Tulips sprout new and green and brids are gayly singing
As sunlight pours through the trees
Thankful the winter is over Life can begin anew
and peace and brith entwine them with everything that is true
Long is the time I've waited
Lonely were days so blue
And nights seemed cold and endless
Since I've been without you
But soon we'll be joined together
That's what we've waited for
and joy and love will keep us
Happy for ever more
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Snake Eyes

A funny thing happened on my way out of town
while the truck was still loaded and my address was gone
As I sat in my chair for what seemed the last time
a phone call made changes to the life I designed
"Come over" the voice said at the end of the line
"we want you, you're needed, you'll work out just fine"
But something was saying in the back of my head
"Well Dilbert you keener, just look what you did!"
For out there in heaven were my wife and kids
expecting their father to come back again
waiting together for a family trip
The way things were going I was going to be sick
Its life and these moments which are moments of truth
when decisions you've made will haunt your life through
You've been forced to decide and there's no right or wrong
Just one path that you've chosen while the other one's gone
You say that its easy just turn back and go well it's easy of course,
until you've been caught by the flow of events and decisions
that now come your way and a new set of choices that fill up your day
When you start throwing dice to help you decide
These tumbling prophets don't care how they fly
Snake eyes, you're happy, doubles you're not and boxcars for people who throw dice a lot
But life's not that simple what's more likely the case
Is ten heads for ten tails no matter the place
but somehow the fates that act on the coin
are indifferent to the need of some poor schmuck to win
While another sails through and tosses a score
"That's nothing", he'll say, "I've thrown snake eyes before"
But the hour glass is over and the sand has finally run
And mystic forces working there have finally had their fun
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This Small Acre

Did the sun ever shine so brightly on this acre - my lot in life
My eyes never saw the wonder of it all
The air was fresh and clear and thoughts were pure
Days passed in fullness and harmony with no regrets
The nights brought rest, and mornings fresh chance and hope
Laughing in those days of sunshine
We danced and our voices rang in song,
never so human were we then passed the light of life
and felt the heat of it held its sum in our hands
and power had two hands and built something
two legs and went anywhere
with tongues tasted everything
our arms embraced anyone
Hearts never empty,
Just matchlight in darkness
like stars in vastness where the sun too will fade
I simply woke up before my time was done and did all that which I could do
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Better Left Unsaid

The voice arrests on lips then hangs on waggling tongue with heart felt pangs
As knowledge of the hurt exceeds expansive thoughts and sounds of dreams
Silence screams at those who'll listen
It seeths within a mute opinion A voice may choke on words that come
Still thoughts have deeds to mark their sum
Nothing said speaks volumes then like slamming doors or fists of men
A kiss and hug or friendly shakes
Things words alone can't demonstrate
But words not stopped or swallowed whole burst through one day
and tear one's soul searing ears and causing pain
whose tongue was tied might choose again?
anguish at what should have been their anger echoes deep within
for given choice and time back when
would blaze without regreting them
Things much better left alone
If no bitter words were ever sown
Between them both so much unknown fills golden silence
as they've grown
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Shuffle Walk

Shuffling down the sidewalk, I'm just looking past my feet
There's no one looking at me, least not no one on this street
And we're shuffling off together so our eyes will never meet
On another city morning, another day out on the beat
We're looking for the newsbox for the headline screaming by
Searching for what matters and it soothes our lonely eyes
Cause everybody's searching for something to believe
and someone who will love them who won't practice to deceive
But the news thats in the paper is the same as yesterday
so much a comfort as a bore though much easier that way
Now I'm looking for somebody whose eyes aren't at their feet
Somebody who will meet my gaze and make my day complete
But we're living in the city with relationships galore
and another is a problem even for those wanting more.
Shuffling down the sidewalk there's a bum out on the street
He's begging for a living and he's begging on his knees
I want to give him something but my pockets are all cleaned
And I'm thinking by the grace of God that fella could be me
And I'm wondering if a stranger who helped me out one day
Is still in their relationship cause that's all she had to say
when I asked if she would give her name in thanking her that way
"It's Jennifer" she whispered,
but no relationship was made
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SHELLS and SHARDS

On the beach were shells and glass, flotsam and jetsam,
renewed by changing tides, and mulled over a million times
the sand met the sky but no waves could be seen seaching
for fragments of this or cracked pieces of that
lolling beachcombers trolled for traces of past greatness
washed out figures stunned and suddenly alone
spent days and nights searching for their beacon star
on another featureless beach of shells and shards
On a beach, intoning quiet prayers, and invocations of diety
to raise the dead from wind swept sands or gain a pulse from severed hands
Listening for silent screams where fireballs land
where the beach lit up like a flare from a foundering vessel
and clouds rose up and joined the sky then disipated into the ether
all was revealed to those who reasoned why
On a beach lies circumstantial shells and fragments, shards of a lost kingdom,
and sand from a worn mountain leveled,
something had swept in like the tide and left pieces
of what mightily once was after declaring time enough,
or time had come then transformed another constant,
now fallen star into ashes under foot and dust to dust
as all must die
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Three Friends and a Moon

The first full moon of Autumn shone down upon three friends
As each of them sought meaning in the moon's glow - hand in hand
Looking up the clouds seemed crazed with madness from the light
With super natural fortunes being conjured up that night

For one the moon seemed angry hanging hostile in the sky
Not free to shine its light restrained by clouded cage on high
Try as might with golden heart the moon could not escape
Its silver bedded prison held it hostage where it stayed

The friend who gazed had seen her life with so much love to give
A lonely soul in search of one to share her love and live
The harder that she tried it seemed the harder had it been
To find a man who'd free her from deep emptiness within

But even as the thought had passed from mind to outer space
A seed began to grow inside - her life began to change
No longer would she wait for him to sweep her off her feet
She'd found a way to have the son or daughter she could keep

And so the moon would cycle through the seasons of her life
inspired by the light that shone up in the sky that night

Another saw a beacon which had called him from the sea
A guiding light had broken through fulfilling destiny
Two ships were lost but now were found both aided by the light
Drawn safely into harbour where two hearts would soon unite

Just like a ghostly sheperd who had called out to his flock
The moon had found a way to shine on brightly through the cloud
The friend had wandered all alone and sailing hopelessly
But as the night was darkest then her light reached out for he

The last dear friend saw dancers in the harvest sky that night
For as the sun would court the earth it woo'd the moon in flight
A jig of heaven's bodies one spins just as one flies
They dance the dance of lovers which the moonlight amplifies

But as they danced she saw herself all caught up in the glow
With family, friends and children was she ever going to know
Which partner that she'd end up with before the music died
Knowing that the one she'd picked was no longer by her side

But sun has earth the earth has moon whose face is son reflected
The partners only seem detached together they're protected
Mother's child is father's too, though that husband has no wife
Will changing partners in the dance be ruinous to their life?

They gazed out at the moonlit scape minds racing with these thoughts
still joined in common by the beams of silver that they crossed
With hands held tight they faced the night and their futures one by one
While looking at the autumn moon and shape of things to come

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Crossing the Serbian Line

Planets hang on nothing and existence is wafer thin Life
and precious essence not in space lie deep within
Connecting deeds and thoughts, values, beliefs and sin linked through ether then beyond - now with friends we begin to cross chains of separation not of numbers but of mind conceiving the inconceivable, knowing the unknowable seeing the unthinkable found a heavy price to pay baby steps at first finally we've lept today teetering for years upon the brink a moment of truth has come where bombs are wreaking havok, having precisely found the line dividing evil from good upon the sands of time who will be victorious, or blasted to smithereens who will submit, die or flee in toaist simplicity No Gods about only men who finally see the planet, good and bad - but no mystery See coexistence requires effort and far greater price to pay And greater distance to go to keep the serbian line that way Battles rage in outer space or in the living room so with two be it the world, will humanity be doomed or move us from the chaos, to live finally in peace Fix the whole or blow apart, know mindless probes into our watch won't improve it mechanically History's not repeating, but our lessons reappeared rightly or wrongly, we feared the decisons to be made and paths to be taken But her mother's dead and so the baby cries. Her shoes worn in disbelief. That bullet's flight through another night without reprieve. Left the world waiting for sense to reign And feeling the hurt and seeing the pain are drawing the Serbian line Recollections of the school yard and the jungle Where reason wasn't enough, when friendship was neither wanted or accepted Where hate and darkness of the human heart and the genius of evil Was confronted to stop the bully there Not by uttering a kind word stupidly or humourously A hammer solved the problem, a walking stick or a punch in the eye drew the line, and later erased the swastika the lines of a crucifix which were the cross hairs of a site like the sites on the Serbs who like the rest of the world cry out but must look within asking not for whom the bombs blast but why again some must die

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Sensing Love

Press yourself against me I'll feel the fullness of your breasts
Place your mouth upon me I'll smell the sweetness of your breath
Lay your hand upon me I'll feel the heat that burns within
Say you'll have me baby And I'll fall in love again
Sing your song don't whisper I need to hear your voice
I fell in love when first we met I had no other choice
Sleep beside me woman Oh come, and be with me
Together life is fine with you Its plain for all to see
Kiss me with your soul and let me taste it with my mouth
I want to draw you near me so erased there'll be no doubts
All senses tell me you're the one
The only one I'll need And forever more together
Sensing Love, love endlessly
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Safe Behind Borders

At the border they met - never dreaming they'd cross
In parallel movements as their bearings were lost
No hand held in her hand and no side glances cast
Just romantic pilgrims consumed by their past

An unstable line drawn in life's shifting sand
Blown off by a wind abstract lines won't withstand
Loneliness clouded like storms in the East
Descending upon they who expected it least

Winnowing at first like a tropical breeze
Disarming their hearts and their other beliefs
Inducing, yes seducing their tentative steps
So easily drawn from the paths that they'd left

With winds of change howling and rattling glass
Both seeking shelter saw their refuge at last Where deep inner truths spun deceit in the calm Engulfed by the cosmos where their borders had gone!

So it was that the lines they had followed had wound
through a Garden of EDEN to the love they had found
In a moment of comfort and peace from the storm
Eternally righteous, where nothing was wrong

Does it matter at which point the border was crossed?
When moonlight transformed them - from friends or betrothed
Into lovers that evening - who would not have done the same
if not held SAFE within the arms of that one

But the border that kept them apart was no more
It wasn't the border but safety they swore
In the arms of the other no fear had emerged
While treating themselves to new thoughts and each urge

So distance between them is now border enough
Until truth and its meaning intervenes from above
unless meeting again with no borders to see
fall safer together or apart will it be?

Because borders like fences may keep them apart
like fences for neighbors they are safe for the heart
As long as there's borders of safety and time
Those two who were lovers love each other in kind
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Rhythm Thoughts

Just let it pour out, yeah just let it go
The words you are writing are not your's to know
Your mind is working now so just let it grow
cause the feelings are building now - you've got to let them flow
They're bubbling up and distilling thoughts
From your inner self the one you've always sought
once hidden by pretense or possibly blocked
so just seize the day within the time you've got
So you're moving on yeah its time to blow
You can make it to the station if you need to go
But the trip you are taking doesn't use the road
You have to travel inwards til you've reached your soul
I can meet you there when you've reached the end
I'm gonna see you baby when I land in heaven
The words are gone but the feelings stayed
Funny how the words we said weren't in the plans we made
Ya ya-ya ya-ya ya ya ya ya
Do do-do do-do do do do
Da dada dada da da da da
Bump dada badump da bump bump bump
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Rain Bus

Rain Soaked streets and wet umbrellas
On slippery sidewalks and wet hair
Slimey, cheesey, smelly feet and clothing
Bodies pressing up the stairs
Big fat asses and skinny ones too
Lining up along the aisle
Try hard not to sit beside us and if they did try not to stare
Its slow going on the transit
So walkmen blare to make time flow
That's the way it is upon the rain bus
Just people trying to get home
The rain bus rolls and dumps its load
Hydralic doors are slamming shut
Sneezing, coughing farts they leave us
One last thing before they go
The aisle is filled upon the rain bus
The air is thick with sweat and breath
The glass is fogged, so where are we
Forcing eyes to gaze upon us
However catatonically
Fascinating cuticles
Feet furiously tapping to a solo beat
Dreaming of any place but on the rain bus
To and fro' on their way back home
kayaky

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Photonic Dreams

What's that?! He's been dreaming again-
not working with other things to do
Because his mind is racing with intoxicating and enchanting thoughts of who?
But the screen shining, blankly is flickering or is it winking
Like a changeling temptress of whom he's been thinking
Imagining it's keys pipeline to her mind - flowing and caressing a
nd mystically winds his thoughts to her door
That light box could be a window to her soul
One great eye into which they may both fall - limitless falling
Oh grant him that he shall never land
How can this mechanical thing perversely link him to her?
Indelibly marked by memories or are these just dreams too?
He knows why, and remembers how
one evening what shone was moonlight
which mingled with his keyboard friend,
there upon them casting shadows of light and dark,
good and bad,
right or wrong
with winged spectral harpists whispering
then urging them to go on
And finally moving into the light which beckoned -
then surrounded them with the warm glow of friends -
faces gone but hearts remaining
a blissful union there - for ever more - until the end
His machine has become a mental cue,
and a strange one at that
conjuring up such recollections by the video screen
he sits at
Drawn beyond the light now
into the darkness of Her room
washed with her scent upon the sheets
which further sealed the night
And there, coupled but not by the photonic chains of mail
that never stop
It seems, there was only their own essence
as they sailed away into his dreams
kayaky

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Patricia Maxine

I was there when she slipped away
quietly weeping I wondered what she thought
A shadow of the person that I knew lay before me
Yellow and weak, and bluster gone
Part of me went with her
And a piece of my heart is numbed by the loss
But life goes on

I was there when she slipped from us
The few who stayed to watch
And each of the last breaths she took tore at my soul
Those were my last breaths too

Anyone who has seen the face of death
Is afraid no more
But I never saw that face for I saw only you
And what I saw made me so afraid
That I was wasting time and filling days
without meaning until you showed me the way

Now not a day goes by
when I don't think of you
How I miss you so, my Patricia
kayaky

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Painful Voice

A smokey dive where dimly lit
a score of broken hearted sit
joined in song in chorus with a painful voice to voiceless hits
Loving, losing, leaving strains or songs
to mommas, trucks or trains
the DJ hurts with each refrain
ensconced in Karaoke pain
Too many beers and cigarettes,
Hearts brimming with the blues
Lives well lived not long but hard,
whose dreams not sweet
came true
From corner seat she reaches out
and penetrates the scene
drawing looks back to her booth,
how remarkable had it been
That woman's crying in the bar,
God knows she's been abused
Her voice as painful as it sounds and bleating out of tune
Cloistered small and shoulders hunched, battle worn and scarred
The painful voice and friend who sing are sharing with the bar
One note or phrase or whose to say
what captures distant thought
But when the moment seizes her
she gives it all she's got
No word is heard, no melody,
musicality's away barking recognition
with her memory all a haze
No one laughs at painful voice they've heard her song before
She's earned the right to sing that tune
and keep coming back for more
In smokey bar the crowd goes by,
each night they start anew
The painful voice that sings todayreturns in time for you
kayaky

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Not Friends

Once we were good friends but now we don't meet
We'd talk on for hours but now we don't speak
And candlelit dinners were eaten on the floor
But now I don't see you anymore
How did that all come to happen? That's not what good friends are for! So here I sit alone and forgotten Because we're not good friends anymore
Once I could call you and chat for a while It seemed there was nothing not said by and by and sometimes we'd sit and just watch the TV But now you won't even call me
I could come over and show you my thoughts Words that were writen but poetry not Still that was enough to sustain us my friend But now I feel this is the end
How did that all come to happen? That's not what good friends are for! So here I sit alone and forgotten Because we're not good friends anymore

kayaky

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Musical Sex

There they are - knife blade's chopping - clacking, slicing, snipping rythmically clipping
There they go - piston pump's pumping - snorkling, pocca pocketing and musically thumping Here they come - steam engine's steaming - chug chuggalug chugging
Are we really just like that? NO!
At least we try not to think so.
We make music panting, heaving, sighing and sometimes laughing and crying
But when cold humans come together, coldly, it is a prickly pot of mechanical parts and picks
So their vibrating tool is humming, clicking, whirring
Strangely satisfying, while buzzing and tantalizing
she with wet lips and fingers fools herself as she dreams on
and sooths herself too
And he no better plays it all by ear
beat - beat - beating Whap - whap - whapping and drum - drum - drumming
with his one good hand
Its a caccaphony of misery when playing in the one man band!
Then coming together again, moaning and groaning
Huffing and puffing, squeaking and shaking as they rattle and roll
Oh Momma! it is a symphony of ecstasy
as they play their song
Slurping and sucking as they are passionately fucking
Until symbols clashing their music is gone.
But somewhere in the distant hills
The memory of that melody echoes still
Like some catchy tun you can't turn off
compelling you to play it again and again
Since your first heard it in the distance or through the wall
in some small town
where a pickup group is apickin and agrinnin
or as a nifty little ditty in a disco city
and the beat goes on and on
kayaky

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Maple Dreams

Sitting on the doorstep of their neighbor's front porch Staring at the sunlight dappling through the maple leaves He was sitting by her, speaking words to guide her and he took her to his world - a land of make believe They didn't see tomorrow, forgot about yesterday all they needed was there and then, loving her, - he felt that way Running round were children some were his - some hers and the house where they lived seemed to bustle all the time Just like sun soaked tree leaves they were all so happy Red and gold were colours of the love he gave to her Circling round were memories just like the falling leaves And all the things they left behind were blown about by the breeze Singing songs and playing games where everybody knows their names Thats what they were thinking sitting on the front doorstep that day
kayaky

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Lonely but Not in Love

Emotions are responses to our love's profound attachements but happiness is only one of the possible reactions and loneliness may come along and sift between the cracks confusing us with feelings while disguised by cloak and hat

Do you recall the reasons when you thought you fell in love? Overcome with those emotions you weren't circumspect enough! We're hungry when we're lonely, and the souls who come our way are out there looking for us and they're feeling just the same

Its human feeling lonely, hoping loneliness will fade But little reason for a match if love could seize the day Had you understood your motives and entered with them known you'd have fallen into love but where there's feelings that you own

kayaky

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The Thin Grey Line

Outside ourselves's a thin grey line where sky and earth collide
where all around are questions and each choice hard to decide
Which way is up, and which is down for all we see is fog
each step is like a leap of faith and certainty's in shrouds
Out here's a place so distant its a no man's land of sorts
failing to provide a soul with means to chart one's course
But course is set in fool's gambit we race to meet our end
soaring through a starless soup 'lectronics understand
Then suddenly the sun bursts through and what a sight
that is wondrous glow and warmth engulfs with happiness and bliss
A little trust goes light years on our never ending trip
relinquish helm at times like these to fate or hidden grip
Will me home then silver wings entrusted love with thee
and if you fail to take me there I'll die more peacefully
Than had I simply stayed on ground and plodded day by day
Not wondering where path would wind where each bend was all I'd see
kayaky

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In the Zone

My head is numb and I cannot think
there's numbers racing round my eyes like rings
Bunch of people looking down on me
I'm too busy playing with my fucking strings
Time is flying by and days go too
Such a waste when I'm here with you
In the zone where nothings clear I can't see, but I can feel you breathe
Smell your scent, feel your heat I won't look at you - but I see your knees
In the zone, in deep freeze
Close enough to touch you and hear your heartbeat
Where are you, where are we?
We used to be people now we're history
My eyes are gone my face is white
Everything around me's such a fucking fright
Too many people, did we go to far?
Got on the bus and should have used my car
Swinging tubes gonna hurt my brain
Just a minute after I've gone insane
In the zone, I'm not free
Smell your body, feel your heat
Touch my skin, hear me breathe
Where are you, where are we?
kayaky

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Ideas

An idea passed my way and drifted through my mind
like wind blowing through a willow
it flowed through and changed me
then left me wondering how we'd be the same
until the ideas flowing aound us came through our windows
and into our souls
Changing our thoughts and bending our minds
blowing in like a hurricane and changing us forever
Like a childhood ravaged by adult notions
Or converts struck dumb by faith flowing in
like a summer breeze and toying with our emotions
before leaving ringing chords on our wind chimes
to remind us they've been and gone stealing in
like a thief in the night robbing us of our self confidence
we're left to wonder how we got here polarized, differentiated, ostrasizied
We who would be empty vessels half empty, and half full
Just cups of a different shape or colour
Until filled with our own heady but often foul brew of ideas
kayaky

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I think I'll like you

Yeah - I think I'll like you - that's not gonna be enough
Sure I'm looking at you - cause I know your nut is tough
Now you're looking past me but you're hoping I'm the one
Cause you're sick of looking past me and you want to have some fun
Come on, I wanna interest you baby
Maybe you'll be interesting too
I've been liking what I'm seeing
So whatcha gonna do?
Did you have something to say - well I've got something too
It's my life story and there's a page in it for you
Yeah - I think I'll like you - that's not gonna be enough
You'd better like me baby if you wanna fall in love
kayaky

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Henry Hyde

Henry Hyde had an affair years ago, its on the internet They're swirling rumours round him and they're not giving up as yet Its not important why he did it only that he did It doesn't matter who she was or what he felt or said We're not machines you switch on and off and urges never quit so acting on them weaving tangled webs of truth and lies. Lives continually getting flushed down a drain of piss and shit filled up with raw emotion into a heady brew of human waste in a never ending cycle>don't give it a second thought or you'll be torn to bits When love and lust fall in the mix people are ground to dust But they're never changed by the process their life is the catalyst I feel sorry for Henry Hyde his only mistake is that he had loved too well and perhaps too much>

kayaky

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Home

The aroma of fresh cookies filled our cosy yellow home
With Magnificent Chocolate Chips so much like Mom used to make,
that love was in the air
Vases adorned the table with roses and white lillies
Fresh and clean, vivid as only the present can be
Music wafted in from every corner
Lush piano bar music that dripped with sultry sounds
hinting of quieter times and hidden memories
Flickering at the hearth a warm and inviting fire,
blazing enough to warm the soul and toes
In that glow, the first kiss through the door was heaven on earth,
a blessing and a recompense for everything
that had ever come before or could possibly transpire
until the end of days
kayaky

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handwriting

Handwriting is a window into the soul watch how quickly it reflects the truth long after embellishment leaves the words and character remains The very ideas melting onto the page like a candle dripping etching and sometimes burning brightly flickering until out as if all thought had ended then suddenly as if sparked by some unseen force flickers yet again in darkness the light will shine like words piercing silence - words always words must be spoken to live and writen to endure
kayaky

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Grains of Sand

Up here the wind whips the thin air into a frenzy Grand Vistas sweep for no one but the Gods Rising up from nowhere reaching endlessly pushed relentlessly by inner fires the mountain kings shall yield

Their significance slips by unnoticed in the seamless reach of time like the endless wash of surf on grains of sand they are the beach and the shore defining continents

The slow motion ice tide comes in with its huge breakers crashing over the rocky coast Stripping every living thing every stubborn barnacle in their path

And the sky stays gray and dark, no blue is seen hidden by the dust of millenia churned up by accidental visitors from outer space Our sun, the alpha and the omega waits patiently for spring

Measured against these walls our heights are pitiful Red rocks and golden rays illuninate the highest spires and deepest canyons at dusk or dawn Down below the wash of ages rushes by carrying with it every rock and stone to meet their salty brothers by the sea

Deeper still the depths where no human ever stirred Darkness means nothing here its always dark until their grizzly headlights come and its in the crush of water, with the weight of the world on everything, everywhere in dead silence where life may begin again
kayaky

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Frost Returns

Along the boulevardes of spring I've walked And hand in hand felt warmth of sun and you Under the full and vernal orb we've talked With give and take found sweet caress too few

So many plans, have come and gone my dear My words seem pale compared to how I feel How could one say those words to you I fear Mocking sentimentality though real

But then come nights when the full moon will rise Frosted icing with me lies no longer You've turned from the wall and feigning surprise Requiring service of men I wonder

How we've lived and loved so deeply just then Will frost return to melt away again?

kayaky

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I Love My Friend and Wife

You must be me giving something because though we’ve never touched I look forward and see nothing and still I feel too much You just lift me up higher where air is fresh and rare and hours we pass will sometimes seem too hard for me to bear Oh – but what a feeling has come over me and when I think I’m going down I turn around and my heart has sung a different kind of song Its you that makes it play that tune, as one day we’ll meet again I’m just soaring – lifted up by seeing you – we’ll meet again – but when? Oh what’s that feeling that’s come over me? – when I think I’m rising high I turn around and then my mind just tells a different kind of lie “I’m only caught flat footed and broken by the loneliness of that day” Its not you that twists me turning in the wind when I see you’ve turned away “Don’t get too close!” love promised me but that promise was a lie Then I got close, too close for friends, and friendship surely died And friendship is, that after all, which made me want to stay But with those feelings haunting will they chase friendship away? She loves me, and I love she – there is no love triangle For I know love, I’ve loved before and this is my denial God strike me down for I have found a love I can rely on and if That’s the reason I can stay, then why am I still lying? And what kind of love is that my friend? When I can’t do without Your face, your voice, your gentle words that flow from lovely mouth? A curse be placed upon that love, its not what I had planned I did not ask to be in love, the Devil took my hand! If I’ve become an anecdote in a litany of men Those notches gone won’t soon return but I 'll still call you friend The world goes on and I must too, so I’ll face another day Infatuated with another,one a friend won’t turn away A different kind of love but far from love that stays Its born of distance once removed will finally dissipate Now I know its possible to love a friend and love will hold things true Who never touch, they’ll always hurt, good friends have heartaches too God gave me love and love I do, a fellow human being, just one Who got so close to me and all from just our meeting And those feelings within me? Don’t look! They’re locked and sealed. You’ll never open up that book, they’ll never be revealed It’s the price I pay and I live this way, we two will never be And what we have or might have had is not for us to see But love is good and I feel fine – I like what love has done! Each day those feelings transform me and create a new someone. An exhilarating rush of thoughts has changed my view of life I’m better now than I have been, I love both my friend and wife.

kayaky

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Food for thought

You are so far away but in my mind you're still here beside me
Its playing tricks with this lonely plebe While thinking is such nobility But you're so far away and though I remember, I still can't feel and though I dream ,
It just won't be and though I hope, I can't believe.
So will you think of this when next we meet? and treat my senses until I leave, so crossing the border I perceive You'll keep me safe and warm and in love with thee.

kayaky

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Fireballs in the Mirrors

Forget the past, your how now's and where for's!
Its always there Hour glass sand which knows no past, no where from
Still tumbles through time It leads us to this moment, one of possibilities
Though gone suddenly - its replaced Like fireballs in the mirrors of a setting sun
We'll see it again - tomorrow

Taking time, savouring life 'cause it won't last
Mountain tops look down on fleeting moments
But we'll have our present, filled with choices
Decisions made quickly then lived out
Like fire flies glowing in the deep summer night
They're thin points of light - on a lonely road

Out there who knows who's watching
Only, from a distance everything stands still
But we're on that road and we're moving on
Two wheels rolling, moving like the wind
There because of the past, and there for the present
The past's converging but ahead there's a thousand suns
And we'll take them on one by one
kayaky

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Finger Dance

Silver shadows danced while deft and dark they searched the shores of Rio
Fingers reached while breathing deeply - gliding seething snakes in halos
Burned temptations tips by titillation flared
the way the wind blows lower than the heady brew
It blew still kept where no one knows
Oh to break that sureal stillness and simpering wetness
Not filling ears with searing words or fumbling low caresses
Another place once yesterday urging hands or finger presses
electric moments forward to completion
In these dimly lit recesses
Better still than empty hours the solitary spark refreshes
empty souls from empty beds which time alone addresses
won’t waste away, another day in hopeless webs that blessed us
kayaky

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Evil Exes

Images incinerated in some candlelit ritual
Snarling names uttered in contempt by single gender covens
Inflicting pins and needles
They sinned, and were imperfect
Disloyal and unfaithful,
They lied, and they cheated
Now exe's to be vilified
Still fathers and mothers had them
but they were the worms
The scum of the earth
Harassing, pestering, foul filth
We ease the pangs of emotional detachment
from these hateful hurtful beings
That we once loved
kayaky

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Even More

Don't take me for granted I'm here for you now but that may not always be so Send me flowers, bring me chocolate, write me poetry and rub my feet and if you do then I will love you even more

Don't look over there when I am here for one day you'll turn and I'll be gone dote on me, praise me, touch my hair and hold me, just hold me and if you do then I will love you even more

Don't speak to her, don't dance with her when I am here and all alone for if you leave I might be gone on your return talk to me, touch me soul, and move with my spirit Just stay with me and if you do then I will love you even more

I'll hold you close and have your child I'll buy your clothes and send you smiles I'll warm your bed and ease your worried mind when times are tough and life gets bland I'll still be there to hold your hand Don't take me for granted, Don't gaze away, and I will love you even more
kayaky

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Devotion

This woman has feelings - this is no rag doll in his arms As he holds her close she clings on expecting safety from him not harm With a fragile heart which may be broken by a callous word of his if spoken And yes - made to sing with joy through simple kindness or affection What at first was shallow emotion is now moved by deeper devotion A woman that speaks through her every motion and in her eyes a greater ocean of vulnerability asking only "please take care with me" Such a responsibility he's accepted and done so honestly - and won't fail or disappoint

This woman has beauty - this is no dime store trinket that he holds Dark hair, pale skin and smile illuminating sky Wouldn't any man find her fair and seek her out or try to woo her given half a chance - and love her too on second glance Would see the beauty there entranced by the good mother and angel longing now for sweet romance

She has life - he feels her heart beating and senses each breath she's breathing sharing the same with he Can anyone say where this is leading or where they will go concerned more that somehow there by mistreating will someday break her heart In that evil deed - he'll take no part preferring that he would never start upon a path with her left to understand somehow why yet again she'd lost another man rather she's found instead a greater good and loving friend who'll stay with her and help her in any way he can
kayaky

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Dancing With You

I want to dance with you I want to watch your body move in time with mine Sweet locomotion, it's when I'm with you I feel so fine Can you feel the music the way I do? It's rippling down to my feet It's like I'm walking on air whenever we meet because I'm dancing with you

Way down there pulusates the beat It's sliding and pumping away in my veins Or is it just my heart pounding because I'm looking your way and I understand why being with you makes me a better man I feel alive, I'm in love and nothing else matters as long as you are in my arms and I'm dancing with you

You are a vision to me when you're spinning around and I see you toss your hair back So take me with you when you go - you just have to lead and I'll follow The lights have all gone down, can it be we're all alone? I can feel my skin tingle as you brush by and I'm so happy by your side Because I'm dancing with you

You're laughing and its a beautiful thing I'm holding you close, and without thinking I've started to sing - and why shouldn't I sing to the woman I love - who's in my arms The music has long since stopped but our melody keeps playing and I can't wait to get you home We won't need that band, its beautiful music we'll be making when I'm dancing with you tonight

My head is in the clouds, my feet are in the stars I love you woman its so plain to see Nothing is more important to me than to have you close Maybe we'll go out tonight Maybe turn up the heat tonight Forever things will be all right if we are Dancing together, you and me
kayaky

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Things I meant and could not say

You were overtaken by the day falling away ,
swept into deep rest until the morning
Where waking from some dream were pressured by the hour
and found No words from me to say how much I loved you

Simple words never weighed so much
On my heart or hung more heavily on my tongue
By day found their place in my work
Things I meant and could not say
For fear of losing myself in their power
things I should have said meant less not more that way

I had slipped between flannel sheets
In darkness, shadows freed from light
And laid against my one true love whose warmth against the bitter night
was refuge for my troubled mind No sweeter moment better shared
Though that truth could not be told

My eyes closed tight, world finally calm cocooned in warmth
with you that night no uttered words to wrong or overflow the cup
Of love so deep, which born of youth and ripened through time
had swadled us in that cradle of mine

Ever present and constant I feared
And held on tighter for
With the passing of years like a leap into blackness
like the darkness of that night headlong into the future
prayed you would always be there

No longer separate our lives entwined
Memories melded, history enshrined
More years together than apart
Perhaps that fear was just a dream
For you’d always been there for me
kayaky

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Chances Are

Chances are, you'll be laughing right out loud and thinking how we never had a prayer Telling all your friends you were just hoping it would end and trying not to let me down too hard

Chances are - I ll be staying up at night And watching nothing much on the TV Trying not to think of you and me and the way things used to be, or could have been

Chances are - we'll get on with our lives and how different after all could people be What attracted us was gone and the love's not coming on Just a moment like many others passed us by

Chances are the sun will rise again and birds will fill the air once more with song But your voice will not be heard and my heart will still be hurt cause the leaver left the loser lost in time

And chances are you'll find yourself another who gives you more than I could ever do buy you clothes and fur and take you round the world

Its what I would have done if chances had not played an hand with me and you

kayaky

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Cell Phones Selfish

Simply speaking's so supernatural sometimes
Upon the Sea of sound and fury
So important, so accessible and so alive
Connected to the collective, connected to the hive dancing bytes and pixels mix messages with noise voice mail misinforms us, there's conversations to avoid
Cell phone selfish and day- minding foolish
as organized as attached as busy keeping busy
could tackle any task
Waiting for someone or thing to ring yank their chains
chomping at the bit are we to communicate again
words never reach them from the bedside -
drowned out by vibrations or beeps as loud as a shout
You'regetting this
and just getting that
while ignored, you've forgotten
the one before you sat
I'll talk to you without the sky between us
I'll touch your face again my dear
There'll be no telephones to defeat trust
When I look into your eyes
We're cell phone foolish,
cell phone selfish fools
connected but protected
from a simple human touch
A face to face encounter
that will always mean so much
kayaky

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Angel's Heart

Who saw you fall sweet angel
when the arrow pierced your heart
Launched quickly from the darkness
but it surely found its mark
A senseless barb of poison
had been calculated there
to find the source of dreams and hope
that danced as light as air

He knows too well what makes you cry
and aims from his deep despair
To snatch those moments from your grasp
just when you start to care

And he would sit and watch you fall
not rush to catch your heart
or save it from the venom
which is breaking it apart.

But who wouldn't try and save your soul
and see your heart released
And who wouldn't cry and reach for you
that saw that hurtful deed.
Who saw that arrow - watched its flight
and saw it piercing you
could not stand idly watching -
that'is something He would do.

Love lost is found
not with the one who promised it was true
But with another
Who hearing words
found no ugliness in you
Instead its beauty that was found
and dwell's in angel's heart
so Collect your hope and dream again
tomorrow a new love will start
kayaky

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Ancient sky

Soaring High on darkened wings through red rimmed sky at dusk
Far down below are city lights where cars and strangers fuss

A sea of life that fits so well in palm of outstretched hand
But nothings changed since leaving ground no reach brings touch again

Night comes on with grey and black deserted by the sun
Gitchee Gumee looms large and cold and slivered moon is hung

Fade away to cerulean where sibling crescents glow old as time
one burns one shines through flight we've come to know

Circles upon circles A patagonian scape magical
and perhaps unseen except in ancient days

In mystic Machu Pichou Up where the world seemed small
and clouded by a coca haze Were humbled by it all

But nows the time to be alive speed makes the sunset last
just chase the sky forever and this sunset shall not pass
kayaky

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Email in a Bottle

A message drifts ashore one day which some ancient rhyme had thrown away and flotsam found was read that way, as if its words had worth to say by hapless soul beachcomber who, beside the surf saw what they knew to be a text with meaning true - was quickly read then misconstrued

The message was in point of fact a harmless jest and artifact not meant to sway or mental test but prompt a laugh within one's breast alas the plebe who found it where read words and meaning never there and changed his life upon that dare between the lines au bord du mer

Packed up his house and left his friends in search of treasures round the bend not knowing that beneath his quest lay foundations not of stone but jest then left behind a sorry mess in vain it seemed but strange at best would find by chance a treasure chest of wisdom that escaped his grasp

For having searched and strived for gold discovered back in days of old the treasures that he thought he sought were really what he had - then lost so back he went and claimed anew his rightful home and family too who welcomed back that sheepish plebe then tossed his rhyme back to the sea

The moral of this simple tale is caution when receiving mail a message that would change one's life and throw to waste one's friends or wife For jetsam is not sage advice lest first its weighed then set aside to be confirmed in passing time, then careful be if one confides

kayaky

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Loving Losing Leaving

Seems you found yourself another You don't come round here no more So I'm wondering now all by myself what my future has in store

Well I remember how we used to laugh Sure we must have had good times so we won't be having fun together But could we have fun if we still tried

Something good has gone amiss here I don't usually have self doubts and I looked around inside me wondering what its all about

being dumped for some one else
Left behind by one you loved for more than just two arms to hold them
or something else put them above *
Its just the same old sad sad story, thats been told a million times
Somebody's heart is overflowing
While someone's heart is broke inside *
don't you know that love will leave you when you thinks its here to stay
Don't you think its kind of funny?
Things can work out wrong that way

But I'd have rather had the love that left me
then just seen them walk away
And I wouldn't keep my heart safe up on the shelf
Though its on the floor today

kayaky

kayaky

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Bowl of Torment

The score of souls that met today within the bowl of torment
saw images of life move past in unifying moment

Some were friends, some family while others weren't quite sure
what brought them to the bowl today or why they would endure it
what many hoped would never see and never would again
a morbid view into their lives in displaced quest for pain

These citizens will cry no more know things won't be the same
The bowl exacts a heavy toll as each went their separate way

Knowing that a twist of fate not something one could plan
could end their life in violence
Shakes confidence of men

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A self fulfiling prophesy

I'm looking for you, where did you go? I called your number - no answer though I'm trying hard now please understand That I'm no see'er,
I'm just a man And I need to comprehend

It seems that you've switched off and pulled the plug and disconnected
I'm filled with doubt So when the phone rings and there's a voice
Oh Lord its electronic and I hear no one

So I'm trying hard not to think of you
It should be easy but each time I do
I close my eyes and hear you cry
I didn't need to hear that you're all right

Look what we've done, the great communicator's have fallen
the waters that ran deep have turned to shallows
Once warm the mood is cold an icy void has formed
and wind chinks between the cubes

I'm still looking for you - where did you go?
Was it something I did or said? That's all I need to know.

kayaky

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Passions Pit

Pass through the door to passion's pit, the way to any room
where human minds spin complex webs and obfuscation looms
where faith and hope are camoflaged within the light of day
and calmer moods assuage the soul as softness penetrates

Who knows what's planned behind the scene in luxury or imbibement
and one just happy to be there has no second thoughts to why -
then as the hour runs late they see that things progress so naturally
A pot of gold? or plans and schemes gave birth to sudden mystery

The head is light, the spirit soars and how the cup runs over!
And all the things completing life are laid upon the alter
Its far too late to pull the oars or change the course that's set
The future now is certain but will the morrow bring regrets?

a man will never see the light from the depths of passion's pit
as sky will never find the day while darkness covers it
but by and by the sun will shine then all is made so clear
and on that day when wisdom reigns their questions will appear

So standing on the edge of time, now guided by free
will
they'll see the rim of Passion's pit
and decide to have their fill
or thinking back to younger days
when depths of it were known
Just turn away and find the path
leads safely to their home

kayaky

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Silent Death

Silent death through indifference abides in a lonely universe
without the comfort of a small world
It finds miles made of inches
As we are ignored
Then distance grows with self awareness
Then brotherly love, fallen out of fashion
is also out of the question
and healthy interest is out of season
We're left burdened by repetitious visitors
who offer nothing
but who hang on,
refusing to leave
and who bore us to tears
then to our deaths

kayaky

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Killing Time

Time slipped by but I didn't notice
I was enjoying myself and never looked at my watch
Time dragged on - boring me to tears
I looked up but the scenery was unchanging seconds dripped and hung in the hallway
like socks on a line
I waited for the rent cheques to come in, the months are too long
I just paid the rent and now its due again, the months are too short
What took you so long -
Man that was fast I think I might have cancer, there's no time to loose
Slow down there's plenty of time we've got all day
If I take the 7:05 I can get there five minutes early
But that bus was five minutes early and I was ten minutes late
Does anybody really know what time it is
Hurry up and wait, hurry up and stop all my life is now
I've waited a lifetime for this,
I've dreamed of this all my life time is all we have
so come on lets go and blow some time

kayaky

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The spark betwen us

Do you remember the night our heads touched? between the pit and the pillows. In a strange haze Dreaming, awake or thinking there was a spark between us as our heads touched

Do you remember the light of the spark between us that woke the dream and broke the train of thought the night you got my mind and gave me your body you took my thoughts then drove me home

In hell frozen over on farmer's fields burning too hot one night could burn again as bridges fell and sparks ignited between soul mates

kayaky

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Boomerang

The boomerang to some may be a wondrous machination
Its flight from hand then back again
defies ones expectation
And while we don't expect we'll ever see
that boomer's flight returned
Its what we give and get in life
that's paralleled we've learned
Thrown from hand and left forgotten
its not gone at all you see
Just on its way in space and time
and turning back to thee
all coming back in ways unknown,
forgotten it just might
with equal force to that once thrown return in kind or fight

kayaky

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Thoughts

When as a boy with no thoughts at all No words to think and life a ball older now with much in mind just white and black in a simpler time

Now wondering if thoghts make one blessed or burden the soul when the soul should rest not think the thought but stop to feel since thoughts on their own only cheapen whats real

Looked all around and what did we see people who once thought but still choose to be living and laughing and crying with those whose choose to live simply sharing life as it goes

but there are others who ache intheir hearts long for another, not their minds, but those parts of the lvoer that loves them, yes craving them too needing to be with them like I'm needing you

and others are happy but their words ring hollow Their eyes look past us thinking of loved ones they recollect They're not really happy but filled with regret wishing they spent more time holding hands not arguing points or debating their plans with thoughts like mine rushing like blood in the brain thoughts like my words falling empty in pain

trembling thoughts which through heart seem to say look now to the future forget yesterday but the tomorrow I've got - and a present won't wait its the present we need more than what's at the gate

Future uncertain not ours to be sure only for thinking and hoping they were today is the blessing and feeling so right I chooe to be with you each day and night

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The time of our life

Where are those moments when things seemed so right?
We must have been sleeping when life was that bright
It passed us i moments so fleeting like paintings of colours and textures workth keeping
passively living that we don't even try tides roll in moments
and they just passed us by
No wanting or waiting till moments are through living each moment
because I'm with you
Finding in new ways with chapters begun without ever knowing
the moment is done
Moments aren't beter when looking back then
older and wiser they won't cheat us again
but too busy fighting and bucking the flow
We don't notice the thief when he comes to the door
Its time picking pockets and moments of life
snatching those moments when things seemed so right
Another day comes we waste not one minute more
We'll absorb it and feel it and let our hearts soar
Each moment now while our hearts are still beating
Releasing our minds leave the heart that is seeing
Living each moment the best way we can
Ask for God's mercy should that moment end
Not asking for moments when things seemed so right
since time slips away like a thief in the night
not wanting or waiting til one moment is through
just sharing each moment, because I love you

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Choices and Consequences

Cast upon celestial sphere lie countless points of light
Stars that shine hang deep beyond the boundless edge of night
Cardinal winds lift wings up high upon their holy flight
Seven seas roll high and vast, tossed on by godly might

Mountains dwelling unimpressed
on continents that move teeming billions breath the sky
and share each breath with you
Whose beating heart and pulse of life
could not be found untrue
Great forces that have joined us here now ask what we will do

You look at me as I at you and wonder just the same
Are you the one completing life, the reason why we came?
Existing upon the earth in some great plan sustained
or just another passing ship upon life's shifting main?

No heartaches worse than loveless cursed, if their love is discarded
No hole is deep enough to hide in darkness once they've parted
Declared love scorned, left shunned and alone, not just broken hearted
For if one asked for love again, would not another just be started

Why would ask if they were sure, their choice if ever made
for finding one they felt they loved, that place should never trade
God help the souls who would ever doubt their choice if doubt infiltrate
The flood which flows will decimate best plans if ever laid

Can love so strong survive, not wither look where once were lovers
now two strangers lie with no passion, and no meaning, no cause for which to try
Just motions passed through endless days, if love there, they deny

But love, will endure, both time and space,
yet some it grows still stronger and two were friends - and nothing more -
will find that each will long for the time the spend may never end,
and then they start to wonder If their lover were meant to be,
then apart they' d be no longer

So as the sun will rise, and cross the sky, beyond a love's December
and tears were cried and friends have died, long after they remember
as old and grey those two who stayed through life are still together
their love was strong yes strong enough stand what others could not weather

But what's hard to grasp in all of this
is how in God's creation
That two had met and fell in love and sealed their new formation
Through one embrace, a kiss or touch,
within this constellation
still a better match could not be made
in wildest imagination

kayaky

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The changing Face of time

When rays descent upon its face shadows fall, but leave no trace
They measure time and then erase all signs of what had taken place
Light and darkness dance on its base and quickly vanish with a haze
oblique lines that mark our phase, its time escaping time we waste

Time that's passed is not replaced, and time observed
upon that face will weem to linger, it will not race,
until at last averting gaze we find that time has taken days,
and months then years and left in grace and looking back from golden age,
thank good for life and sing his praise

Now quickly flashes lighs and beams,
we move at speed of light it seems no time to sleep,
no time to call,
our life has just turned digital blinking ,
flashing, flitting red, there's numbers moving by our bed
we know the time in seven zones
with wires' running through our homes
the face of time has changed for we
who cannot stop to even breathe
and when we die good chance we'll see
computers tell us when to leave

connected by exotic threads,
their brains no longer fill their heads electrodes sparking
all along they have no need for flesh and bone
no arms, no legs, they can't forget their life's become an internet
so alpha an omega, their bottled life goes on
they've come to see the future but the face of time has gone

kayaky

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Ode to a Rose

Surrounded by thin walls of serenity there beats a restless heart pressing in on complacency which causes one o start ehn wondering if the time has come to once again depart you'd leave comfort and safety - escape from hell is art.

Sitting on a tin roof, baked too hot by sun a need to move materialized, and now you want to run away from simple lassitude, still you reach toward no one A peculiarly human choice, a choice is clearly none

Away, fly away, from thiose most close to you for as they gather near they might just see the darkest side and thoughts of it strike fear your empty heart cannot escape from eyes thy pry and tear the mask has dropped and left behind the one inside the mirror Look back at me oh changing face you are not really in control You're merely moving with the flow with those upon the road Each step you take just leads fruther fromt he only path you've known but perhaps some day, and some other place, you'll finally be at home

But happy days have long since passed and days weill seem to fly A life that's planned but meaningless, why do you even try? Still plan you do, and so neat and clean your selves are high and dry God forbid a speck of dust should drift and settle by

What is that suit of cloths you wear? How did you get that life? Possessed too much then sold it all, left children and a wife? Your shiny place in some new town has taken a high price Just carry on, each day anew with each friend you valuize

What good is life when theire's no love and love you'd have to earn what good is love that you receive giving nothing in return so having loved they found their love was destined to be spurned and hands that felt the flame are shay after they were burned

You find your road is strainght and like a stretching wire the side trips that you thought you'd take never do transpire knowing how your path had started you know it leads no where you leave one hell to find the next until that dream expires

so you're never tired, still you can't sleep You're never sad but find no peace You're not alone, you have your' friends they just come around and leave again

kayaky

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The universe and mr. Potato head

The deep distant domain of the gods defies our penetration our pathetic probes and telescopes are no better than our imagination But ist as far as any of us have seen and we haven't seen a fraction of it yet Looking skyward into the vst blueness is as close to infinity as we can get "What's out there in the great beyond?" so many have asked are we on some odd loop that circles round and merely takes us back universe expanding or galzxies contracting, stars exploding what a place! in all the sky that we can see there is no other earth or even a trace of life that will speak to us - and how lonely that can be Because our little globe of blue and white is the only one we see

so frustrated we turne our search inwards and proudly line up atoms on shiny wafers of tin but just as before we are stymied and stumped as their size retreats within There is no way for us to tell if our atoms interact we sense somehow that its our chemistry that attracts with tiny fragments so small and so fast their passing right through neutrinos, quarks and photons, are attracting me and you

Deep within the mind of Mr. Potato head is a growing awareness of who we are and what we've done and said but our efforts to poke and probe and see the way things really are don't fully give the answers or the guide we seek the sum will never equal the parts what's lumped and split informs us - but our wisdom remains weak

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Dying embers

Will you stay with me - and talk with me for just a little while? Right here by the fire even though you must be tired and hold me for a moment but one that just might last until the moment comes the morning and the evenings' past

but the fire is out, whilte the embers still glow you've gone off to bed and the light is all low But my need was too great, - I had hoped that you'd know And I wish you had asked me before leaving to go

kayaky

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Snow Worship

Winter's my religion on a bright december day
sifting through fresh fallen flakes
wearing snowshoes on the trail
mother winter holds me, her blanket made of snow
father sky bestowes me with his peaceful blue and cold
dazzling solar diamonds, dress the white and frozen crust
a frosty feast and wonderland of wind blown angel's dust
crisp shadows cross my path and point me to the south
strobing sunlight through the trees - erasing any doubts
seasons reassure me, winter's constant like the sun
promising renewal - not salvation should it come
wrapped in wintry silence - seeming lifeless but soon reborn
from dormancy to flourish just as life will be restored

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Tell me

Will you come and meet with me underneath the moon? in darkness bathed in lightness just like we used to do each cycle of the planet with the silver orb in sky was something I would long for just knowing you'd be mine

Our fingers dripped with moonlight cast through the window sill Your hair with golden firelight - a memory haunts me still my hands felt the silken smoothness and softenss of your skin returned by sweet caresses and the heat that burned within

A vision in the temple of love illuminated would rise before the alter as we wildly consumated naken passion moved and pulsed together in the night our heaving bodies drench with sweat which shimmered inthe light

abnd when we both were finished minds numb and bodies spent lying there as hearts beat down to synchopated rest no sweeter moment has there been as drifting off to sleep I felt your body nest to mine and love ran true and deep

Such is the rush of temporal code that flashes as I dream an image of us locked in time we two will only see But dreams are not enough for me - I need to know you're there wanting all the things I do - that dream is meant to share

Tell me now you'll meet with me with the moon is cycling high and shine yourself upon me as the starlight tumbles by The work may spin in silence but we will join and fly far far from terra firm, those souls ignited cannot die

kayaky

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Musical Sex

The knife blades chopping, clacking, slicing snipping rythmically clipping The piston pump's pumping - snorkling, pocca pocketing musically thumping The steam engine's steaming - chug chuggalug chugging

Are we really like that - we try not to think so
WE make music panting and heaving sighing and sometimes laughting and crying when cold humans come together though coldly it is a prick -ly pot of mechanical parts and picks So their vibrating tool is humming, clicking and whirring
Strangely, its satisfying, while buzzing and tantalizing
she with wet lips and fingers fools herself as she dreams on but sooths herself too and he is no better plays it all by ear,
beat beat beating whap whap whapping and drum drum drumming with his one good hand
Its a caccaphony of misery when playing in the one man band
They coming together - moaning and groaning huffing and puffing,
squeaknig and shaking as they rattle and roll slurping and sucking as they are passionately fucking until symbols clashing their music is gone
ah but somewhere in the distant hills the memory of that melody echoes still like some catchy tune you can't turn off compelling you to play it again, and again and again since you first heard it in the distance or through the wall in some small town
where a pickup group was a pickin and a grinnin or as a nifty little ditty in a disco city where the beat when on and on

kayaky

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Between Us

Things between us cannot be seen, nor can they be heard

No dangerous words too hot in frigid lands

like gental touching - skin on skin by urgent longing hands

Or voices that beseech us in a dimly lit recess

encouraging our lips and tongue to places never guessed

Things between us cannot be seen or heard

unseen - the redness, unfelt the wetness

of swollen parts that ache and crave their desperate release

unheard gasping bodies lying blissful once they're spent

Unread minds, not of this world - ecstatic, heaven sent

those things that come are between us, unknown

and too powerful for mated souls

unknown musk beneath a moon soaked in sultry sounding jazz

unspeakable candlelit moments which dare to be cried out

As they are between us and no one else

Stripped of daily burdens - painful memories are obscured

by love and lust imagined

then unknown, by us procured

kayaky

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The Summer of Susan

Love's a funny thing You don't look for it,
it finds you and when it hits - oh lordy
Do the senses come alive with the brush of skin on skin
stirring a dizziness while the sweetness of those kisses could never end

Older and wiser though far from invulnerable one summer
He'd lost his resolve, finding himself unlike he'd been before
with masks stripped and the borders dropped
He stood bare -heart on his sleeve

Unless you'd turned to ice, and were frozen to the core
I'm sure you'd have known the deal, and if you'd seen this all before
with faith restored you'd know those feelings were real
and wouldn't soon be leaving that scene

It was the summer that he met Susan the summer
that changed everything and he was wondering what to do
when he checked out of the deep freeze into the warm summer air

Then came their questions, the uncertainty about the future
quite rightly
but who gives a care about the future
when the one you love is right in front of you?

Then came their plans, the hope about life
which we need for survival, which is the meaning of life
our dependence on another day yet to come for salvation

Then came their schemes
The intricate webs of truth and dare borne of minds on fire and hearts of passion
whose point was the focus of two people
longing for each other at any cost

Yet to come, the moments rehearsed a thousand times
played out in slow motion but never exactly as imagined
making our explanations after the fact
after the decisions are all said and done
because their hearts had made the decisions for them

Now he'd had his summer of Susan and
He'd be needing the rest of his life with her too

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Lady of the light

The lady of the light she comes
to pass from room to room upon the heels of night with wax - upon the verge of truth

The silence of the evening brings her solitude enough and candles lit release her soul transcending it with love and peace as ghostly tapers glow

The shades of lighness dance and fall she moves from room to room upon the heels of night with dreams where no one else intrudes

The lady of the night with light the glow cast room by room her silent temple of the night in light with hope imbued

she sees the light and sees her life and longs for love renewed

kayaky

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Three words

I told him so many times in different ways how much I loved him those were my words not his And though the time we spent together -was meaningful days had passed not having heard what my thoughts had turned But he just couldn't say the words Just three words he could but would not say the words I longed to hear

But I had felt the impact of those words they weren't easy -not easy to say until they had never been so true then they flowed like time into the future with hope as their star But he just couldn't say those words three words he couldn't say the words I longed to hear

Then years had passed us together happily snuggled in our bed or smiling on the range laughing in the wind and sun He never ever said those words and yet we are still one while others had come and gone He remains today He couldn't say those words three words I have never heard three words he couldn't say Yet he remains today In love

kayaky

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Quantum Steps

Where is the source that we've never seen
We know it was with us when we all came to be Traces of value yet uncertainty and oh how we miss them, so why did they leave?

Alive yet barren they existed, with nothing and everything unseen quantum-like thresholds, to be transcended - when the time was right

Discovery lay before them, finding what had always been discovering what was always there for twin flames and soul mates made self aware

Pure thoughts of recognition were borne in the whitest light casting shadows on the past drawn forward by life

Acelerating bands moving outward expanding from pin points, to expose new vistas behind - those who moved too slowly or held back by their silver threads

They were the starlight becoming our hope twin flaming lovers and soul mates eloped daring to leave us, their source was their own yet we can still see them, their essence still glows

kayaky

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Kissed by the River

Like storied beginnings we know there's an end but a river runs through us to-day
it saves us from emptiness kissed near its banks
though our wishes together may wane

Long days of longing and longer the nights
We walked cold from our subsided pyres
like a river that flows without life -has no life like a river,
our lives were those nights

Kissed by the river, adorned by its light
sheltered by kindness and love
showed us the way to the new waters edge
we know its beginning, but we don't know the end
still it follows the river - and will leave us as friends

Something so new and so wonderful borne
like sun dappled waves given birth each with beginnings
and each with an end
and we watch them together in love

ride on the river and taste its sweet light
imagine still onwards- the sea
The salt like that kiss sweeps us on to the end
where our wishes and hopes set us free

Ride on the river, or kiss on its banks
and salty - that kiss finds the sea know river's beginning,
we may know its end
but its depth wished and hoped soon shall be

kayaky

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Long Goodbyes

Lovers enamoured are stealing their glances
nothing deters their soft gaze
pained by their parting the moment enhances
sweet sorrow of romance is plain

Fingers will linger but longer the kiss
Soft lips burn passion's desire
Sparks surging into the heart of their matter
and leaving them tortured by fire

Words suffer silence - they cannot be said
with time in its perilous flight
For words are not worthy in moments like those
so unspoken they cut like a knife

"Tell me you love me", "I'm branded, I'm your's"
Mark them on leaving - that day
If life was to end in an instant - no fear
Just together, together, they pray

Minds spin in ecstacy, hearts loving free
'til finally leaving they sigh
the parting is over the pining begins
for they love these exquisite goodbyes.

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Children of Mercy

The child of gentle mercy took years for him to know
and had they met what little chance or time for them to grow

Then somewhere down the road long years when paths were set
like sailors heading eastward in convoys heading west

A world that cut no favours yet somehow still they met
though chance for them was faded two hearts could be impressed

Fate delivered destinies and love enough to know
Their choice of steps made promises together they'll grow old

kayaky

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Space

On one's deathbed nobody will ever say "give me more space"

Space is silent, and vast between two people who have stopped talking to each other

Space... the last frontier is anxiety provoking, love and hate are dynamically induced in the astronaut who loves the trip, but longs for mother earth

Space, is a cure-all for too much stuff but with no limits to space how do you find the stuff you're looking for? and how do you know what you've found isn't really someplace else too, because with infinite stuff in infinite space how could you think straight?

Lost in space, you may last forever circling like a comet, or burn up in a star with the ass of your spacesuit on fire

Space is owned by nobody, but everybody owns space

My mind traverses space faster than the speed of light One blink and I'm there since, eyes closed, there is no space but there is emptiness - without you

Spaced out, outer Space, inner Space inner place, inner join, not cold and lonely but warm and filled like the cup -not half empty that space, but space half filled

In space, parsecs can stretch out their parallax angles for a whole second It took me lightyears to learn that! Normal people never say, give me some parsecs Thats too far really, too far

My space, abhors a vacuum, like nature does it wants all the stuff you can put into it but for a man of simple needs the thing I need most in my space is you

kayaky

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Changed by Looking

You look at me and I change I'm not the same as I was
with no explanation for this its what your looking does to me
my window opens for your eyes only So your view is unique
No one else can see through your portal even I cannot
because your looking changes me
I never see the me you see
I can only be the one I am who changes when you look at me

My eyes were closed, and I was asleep
but you stirred from rest and looked at me
but by looking I changed, suddenly waking to see you
no longer asleep - we make love did the looking change us?

I looked at you and you changed
I saw beauty and grace
but then your window opened and I saw an ocean of love
so I dove in- on the spur of that moment
My looking sent me for a swim but your looking let me in
we change in each others eyes
from the ones we are to the ones we can be

kayaky

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In Natural Light

In the clear light of the day when our secrets are displayed
I saw the truth revealed between us and its made me feel this way

I don't need another reason to make my next decision
Uncovered by the window dressings Illuminated by the omnipresent sun

I saw you in the natural light your heart was clear and bright no storms could dull the softness of it or its silken shape so slight

unshadowed first communion solar diamonds played without confusion
impressed us with what we could see and feel, instictively as we move on

The wonder of love in mornings glow a closeness never known
communicated souls in heavens grace where true love only grows

Better days, ahead recall aided by the one we saw natural light
and natural law together, somehow, where we belonged

kayaky

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No,no,no

I wish that I could find the words so I could tell you what its like being downtown in the city watching all the people on the street

And she don't care - no she's not thinking of me She doesn't know that - I'm alive She don't care - 'sides maybe there's another that's she's in love with - What chance have I?

Well I head out on the street until I can get some sleep I know someday soon we'll meet Until that moment ...

So I head out on the street hoping somewhere soon we'll meet and until then - baby please Keep looking for me

I promise not to be annoying But can you try to understand? I can't keep on the way I'm going cause after all,I'm - just a man

No, no, no, don't freak out or say you hate me Just because I've lost my nerve Yes, Yes, Yes - For sure, I'll always love you And I will give you what you deserve

Well I head out on the street until I can get some sleep I know someday soon we'll meet Until that moment ...

So I head out on the street hoping somewhere soon we'll meet and until then - baby please Keep looking for me

kayaky

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Render unto Caesar

The price of love is paid these days in blood and sweat and tears
where nothing in this world is free and our pleasures cause us fear
No wishes made for peace and harmony within this universe or hope for true love is delivered
as love through us alone is cursed unless Caesar has approved it
A simple smile, or glance between us shall raise the wrath of God
and summer storms of sixth degree that all should fail their cause
and leave us shattered on the street and wounded by the laws
but kings and queens show deference to their subject's supplication
and pass their judgement more cautiously to the weak's humiliation
Or better still the mangey few who understood at once their need -
and kept them happy where they slept
dreaming we all are the fools in glass and stone they seek
but who actually throw them biscuits, floral wrapped
so the mighty once placated may suffer us the love we share
or less likely confiscate it
For no Caesar could command that force, -our love cannot be earned
or gained in battle to the death such love would just be spurned
Its fused in spirit not the flesh
no way to change the heart
Only battered souls coincident
at least this much we've learned

kayaky

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Friendship, love and lust

So what's the way you feel with me? he asked his fair companion the 'what' you guessed- while still feeling fine, she answered in this fashion the friendship, love, and lust I've felt it comes at different times and I've no shame to feel that way when your're with me - oh love of my mine

but then the way we were today... we walked and ran and played We've never needed words for fill and time just slipped away I love the satisfaction of days glowing to their end and never have I felt - as fine since I could count you friend

but now I find the days are long when you're not by my side I reach for someone who's not there and that's helped me to decide my dear our friendship's simply not enough the sun's setting casts me doubts when you're not close its then I fear to see my setting suns without or arise when you're not near

and in the darkest moments of the night I awaken with my soul forsaken and lonely in my lonely bed wishing that empty spot was taken by a friend who is my lover who conjurs lust from love reshapened whose heat is fired by passion creating bliss that has me shaken though today my love is taken tomorrow I will be yours and yours for evermore.

kayaky

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The Fall of Couples

The harvest moon stands witness to constancy of life that finds relief from constancy by changing hearts and strife

A chilling change in seasons decay's smelt in the grass rising mist from warmer waters Not frozen yet like glass

For yesterday was summer no leaves were on the ground and couples loved each other while warmth was all around

But temperatures have fallen cold, nothing grows at night and distant howls are calling desperate prayers by candle light

"Will we last the winter with wind borne snow and ice or will we fade to blackness because we chose to fight?"

A better change of season to harvest what we sow No need for better reasons as fallen fruit may grow

Something deep inside us was planted in the sun that flourishes with snow melt and blooms in everyone

kayaky

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Impressionless

I was taken by the shadow of the moving bus in the sunlit artifacts of morning,

leaving impressions, however fleeting, of our presence,

first there, then gone, oh how could that be?

A beautiful voice caught my ear In the lazy evening,

tickling my Interest as it wafted by with sweet tones of love in words

that faded into the night

I knew they had been but was I dreaming?,

just like that they were gone

like I'd come and gone

watched my shadow move impressing sunlit entities

and then within a flickering instant

things had passed swept by the waves on seashore

sand washed with shells and life

Washed footsteps, where my feet had been,

where we had been

but were no more

kayaky

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Death by Email

too weak to type

too steeped in sadness.

all this just because retribution was swift

pin point accurate

like a smart neutron bomb

with buildings standing but their humanity gone

for without your breath could they breathe?

for without your light could they see

without you could they live?

nourished child left to starve

through Mornful afternoon and night

when left alone allowed thought and flight from real words

that now won't come

not the way soul mates would have done i

nstead death, all is death and black as the night

without your air without your light without you

until I was finished

but I am finished dying I am finished

extinguished my love by love

I am done

j'expiré

kayaky

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Hollowness

In a world that doesn't owe us anything or anyone

I had found my one true love

but today she's not beside me memories won't be good enough

Its a hollow heart that's in me she's not running at my side

and I've had enough of lonely hollowness is deep inside

Letting go would be surrender

Holding on in pain is rough but I'd bear that pain and sorrow

for the memory of her love I know our time is short here

fewer seconds left than past

and I wonder if the seconds left without her

could be traded if I asked

I would trade the time without her

for another day in love with the woman who once loved

me just one day would be enough

kayaky

Two Pines

The white pine sapling, barely four feet tall, was planted in the fall of 1865 with the cataclymic collapse of its parent. Felled by a lightning strike, that majestic tree came crashing down to earth, embedding seeds and pine cones into the improbable gravel and rock that would give birth to new life.

The great hulk of wood lay across the nearby stream bed serving up a causeway for all, hikers and animals. Over time it had been worn smooth with branches left strategically to offer handholds to those that needed them.

Time passes slowly for trees, they don't move much unless the wind blows but there are the movements of animals and humans, sometimes stopping for quick relief, othertimes, snapping off a piece of bark or simply holding them selves up for a good scratch.

Across the creek another sapling white pine had stemmed from that same crash. The two of them became aware of each other through the transit of pine nuts and chatter between the squirrels that had adopted them as haunts. The forest chatter boxes could climb then and screech at the neighborhood. A neighborhood, which in general, could care less about screeching and more about the peace and quiet that had settled in since the great storm of '65.

But with the passage of years, change took place. That convenient transit point was replaced by humans and their small bridge since the trail that had been used so casually became much busier. The new traffic left the pines alone. The human folk had grown accustomed to the saplings and they'd grown so that in 1917 as the early vehicles started plying the roads, many would stop and admire them while crossing.

The two pines had become trees. They'd sway gracefully in the breeze, only vaguely aware of each other, peaceful, graceful, growing imperceptably, oblivious to the traffic while broadening their expanse with the passing of each summer, growing higher, and stronger, roots finding new grabholds, nooks and crannies to hold the earth ever more tightly.

Then one day, there arose spirit within them. The hearts of those trees had grown so large that the spirit of the spring could flow into them and remain. Each tree was given its own spirit and the life force within them grew to sustain itself in an awesome presence. No longer were they simply trees but living things with their own righteous place in the universe.

At that moment the two, which had been saplings were capable of creating their own pine cones. They wanted to be together but meters and water separated them. So they remained passively, as trees do, patient and reserved as the years passed them by until one spring morning they sensed their outer branches had touched.

At that moment a transfer of life force took place between them, a passing of energy and spirit, they had become joined in a most unique way. All that passed their way were moved to stop and admire the now great white pines that reached over the bridge and mingled their branches in an arching canopy. The full reach of those magnificent pines was an inspiration to all that saw them as they had somehow survived the years, and the press of civilization to become forever entwined as one.

kayaky

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The Cold Town
 
Grim northern town is stirring
the sun, too cold, won't rise
past frigid trees and frozen lakes
all lined by ice blue skies
The cold, cold, ground lies silent
for there is no comfort under snow
that's hard and snaps with footsteps
cursing engines that won't go
Ice fog hangs low on dwellings
smoke eeks up then shivers down
along the barren streetscapes
where dark creatures can be found
cold haunts their doors and windows
for the heat that hides inside
for any spark of warmth that lives
with no fire - no life would thrive
That hardy life in coats and boots
which peeks from touques and smiles
with wooden gestured stiffened breath
and dreams of southern climes
 
kayaky
 
snowflakes
 
snowflakes
alight in the pale light
some held aloft
dance playfully
among the tree boughs
its christmas time and
love is coming down
moonbeams muffled by moondogs
warm the wintry sky
making my path clear
and bright on this
most wonderful
winter night
 
kayaky




Merry Christmas

 

We love snow for christmas

it lets us go and play

In drifts of powdery whiteness

not work our lives away

 

The luxury of the holidays

Let's sleep past bright sunrise

In goose down cosey sleigh beds

to clear those baggy eyes

 

And sinful treats that meet us

are chocolat sweet and good

for once a year, this season comes

to eat, its understood

 

Just give one gift that's frivolous

not practical or plain

a gift that one-  might like to get

not ties, or socks that day

 

And do something for someone else

but never let them know

its coming from one's inner self

where only goodness flows

 

Praise the lord or pray you must

This christmas time so white

a prayer from us to change our world

Merry Christmas for all - good night

 

kayaky




What have we learned
 
Passing through, you might learn a thing or two -
you might even love again if it don't kill you
They loved you once - that much is true
Now what do you know? its gone
‘New ways of being’, the words -they used to say
‘We’re through’
 
But who’s unhappy now? there's these holes
and they weigh pretty heavy sometimes
‘cause we carry them everywhere we go
we’ve all got watercolors flowing in and out
soft and silent, safe and close
Sure - they loved you, loved you with all they had
You had them - and the matter to lose
 
Man, if you knew then
what you've come to know now would you just cut that bubble
 loose from its golden tether and free you from it all
Would you still have all the multicolored pieces
of that beautiful thing to hold and  -
now that its broken - remember
was it all, just meant to be
‘cause you were you
and I was
me?
 
kayaky

Silent Death



Silent death through indifference

abides in a lonely universe

without the comfort of a small world

It finds miles made of inches

As we are ignored

Then distance grows with self awareness

Then brotherly love, fallen out of fashion

is also out of the question

and healthy interest is out of season

We're left burdened by repetitious visitors

who offer nothing but who hang on,

refusing to leave and who bore us to tears

then to our deaths



kayaky





Trouble Ahead



As the world turns, there'll be a tomorrow

some things will change- some stay the same

But in our search for deeper meaning

we'll find ourselves -  alone to blame



A desert sun is no more evil

that parches lips and leaves us dry

The good and bad that's all around us

depends on who beholds it

The good and bad is in their eyes



Like unmatched shoes along the roadside

though no one's seen and nothings heard

its testament to streets and gutters

telling tales without a word



Or was it wind or just the trees there?

stirring shadows from behind

We sense there's movement all around us

in the darkness we're walking blind



misplaced steps would lead us nowhere

then fail us when there are no signs

and now we've seen the fallen buildings

there is no way to purge our minds



Now fear lies in our darkened spaces

lurking at the bottom of our hearts

there's trouble's brewing on the horizon

Long before the storm clouds rise



But we are gentle, and we're giving

and we can see the way ahead

even though we have our children

decide to wage a war instead





kayaky







The wellspring of Love



We reached for something

we couldn't see

and prayed without belief

for rescue from our desperation

for love and sweet relief

Our prayers tapped into something greater

The source of timeless love

Once share by precious others

Then passed on from up above

that wellspring flows between us

a fountain pure and true

with love, once loved, and faith restored

with feelings felt

and hope renewed




kayaky





The Desperate River



The Great Desperate river has regret at its source

and the souls there are always the same

their angry pasts and fearful futures rearranged

nothing for them, so for them nothing has changed



Their dreams are there, their wishes too

so too the knowledge of what to do

but their waters are frozen by indecision

like manicles of steel, comfortable in illiquidity

time flows never to return and time is so short

but time is the only thing that flows from quiet desperation



With regret at the source

Time flowing onward, nothing lies ahead

except an ocean of tears

upon which founder vessels

which waited too long to take them

to the promised land



the waves lap in chorus to the wind song

-all that, which I could have done

but did not do

between the pieces of hope

that still wash ashore





kayaky





Susan's life:



After all this time

will we have been together

We will be together

after denial and grieving

will we be

together as a couple

In our primary relationship

the neighbors will know and

Maybe the children will be ready

Once their adjustment is over

Once the periodic visits allow well adjustment

and the toothbrush never dries

After Susan has been on her own and

feels the freedom of single life

after Susan feels self reliant

after Susan feels the wind in her hair

after Susan knows she has made the right

decision about this perfect combination

after Bob and Ted, or Ken today there maybe Barbie,

after Susan's job is secure

after the finances are on track

after things seem to be on track

after the combinations seem perfect

and a home is just right

for children, for the garden, forever

after the household has been set up

after the house is purchased

after the car is purchased

after the money is in the bank account

after the budget is worked out

after the money is promised

from the sale of a house

or the passing of a parent

after the separation has been achieved

After the children know 

there's trouble in paradise

will we be together

after its all over

said and done

and I've been there

and back



kayaky







First Steps



The curtain's closed on our first act

the page has turned,the score has changed

and on our route the benchmarks point

away from things that caused us pain



Awake each day to new beginnings

turn away from used to be's

Focus on the time that's left us

Happier now with what we see



Together for the time remaining

sharing life as day by day

our love filled hearts are more sustaining

with lives now lived no other way



Lifetimes spent to find the other

And mountains climbed to reach their side

with vistas reaching there before us

We always knew that we'd arrive



New journies will be done together

miles to go, we'll walk in grace

that holds us safe from troubled waters

our meaning found in our embrace



kayaky







The Susanator



Where in the world

did she come from?

sheltered from the world

kept in recluse

suddenly she was among us

The Susanator, lean and graceful

extra extra small with big while teeth

and the smile to match



The Susanator is nimble

front flipping on her trampoline

with so much ease

early to rise, and early to bed

and much too good in your bed

when she's there

a whirlwind in the kitchen

like the Tasmanian devil

whipping up banana bread

so you can see how easy it is



The Susanator sweeps into a room

and the eyeballs start to roll

or pop depending on the gender

Shes too thin, too happy

too smart, too atheletic

too good a mother, too efficient

just too damned good to be true



The Susanator will affect

everything she sees with her

well presented heads up screen

she'll choose...

"have a great day" or

"hellooooooo" and smile



And in the drive through,

rolling her stops

to the beat of a differnt bongo

music pumping too loud and too hip

too much, too much, too much



SO Who will love the Susanator?

who can keep up with her?

and her sweaty workout highs

and her500 calorie runs

lessor mortals fear to tread

for perfection is never sweet

only bitter

Since it can rarely be so well

attained



You can't beat the Susanator

at her own game

you can only play your own

and hope she'll come along

and if she does..

you'll be a happy man





kayaky

Jealousy



The wild heart cries out like a lone wolf

howling at the moon of an ancient sky

feelings rise from their shallow graves

haunting smug veneer and inner peace

disturbing now what was sheltered then

in empty caves - with groceries delivered

never safe from rivals or unfaithfulness

we're born vigilant and a stones throw away



The mind reels at what was old and is new again

an inexplicable flush of green envy

from deep hearts well - in an oasis from flatness

anxious concerns about losing something real

never happy alone - never free from need

bathed in fear and trepidation

it thinks, it ponders, it rationalizes until

there is relief in balance, if nothing else

as life goes on



If that shone like a beacon, clear to all

free from apprehensive darkness,

unencumbered by dangerous hidden meanings

warped thoughts would straighten in natural light

and comfort us by the kind deeds it revealed

so modern animals - humans

soothed by the day's touch and warmth

would be left undistracted

by the possibilities or probabilities

or awareness of irresistable forces

and immovable objects

found in deep memories of ancient skies

and be left, once again happy, in love



kayaky





Knots



Impure thoughts, may sweep in and take us

Far far away, from our goals

And our dreams, take lessor status

letting passions grow more cold



But we're not living lives in endless little circles

and we aren't going to be stopped by such bonds of little purpose

Just take a deep breath and let go

Its not the doubts that hold us but ourselves you know



Gordian knots are how we make them

that tie us up and tie us down

And so it seems that we can't break them

giving up, too easily



But we're not going to live our lives in quiet desperation

Weíll pick ourselves right up off the ground and look for inspiration

Take first steps and then go

Until we do, weíll never know



Knots are tied but we can shake them

Silver cords canít hold us down

And those doubts wonít overtake us

Because our love has grown too strong



The future in store for us will be a thing of beauty

Each morning that we wake up will remind us of our duty

To live life to its fullest, and give love to each other

And thatís what bonds us together, away from knots that bind

Or Limits set by tethers



kayaky







Time Traveling



time travels back and forth

messing with our minds

but no one knows

the time or place

only remembered moments

powerful when recalled

cause us to wince

and relive flashes of reality

what was seen

what was felt

existing now as we existed then

may die when we die

or like leather clad

books on a musty shelf

cling to the knowledge

without its power,

preserving a memory

without consequence

free from guilt



kayaky



Between Us



Things between us cannot be seen, nor can they be heard



No dangerous words too hot in frigid lands



like gental touching - skin on skin by urgent longing hands



Or voices that beseech us in a dimly lit recess



encouraging our lips and tongue to places never guessed



Things between us cannot be seen or heard



unseen - the redness, unfelt the wetness



of swollen parts that ache and crave their desperate release



unheard gasping bodies lying blissful once they're spent



Unread minds, not of this world - ecstatic, heaven sent



those things that come are between us, unknown



and too powerful for mated souls



unknown musk beneath a moon soaked in sultry sounding jazz



unspeakable candlelit moments which dare to be cried out



As they are between us and no one else



Stripped of daily burdens - painful memories are obscured



by love and lust imagined - then unknown, by us procured



kayaky 


When the lights go down

 

Close your eyes my love

when the lights go down

see only what you can remember

Bright like the desert sand

see me 'cause I can see

only you

 

Hold me tight my love

when the lights go down

feel your heart and you will remember

wonderful days

Holding me, like I'm holding you

in love forever

 

 

Kiss me my love

when the lights go down

with love like no other remembered

just wonderful ways

spent loving each day

of our lives in love together

kayaky


Gatineau Love
 
Between us the past -
warmed back to back in the fireside light
sharing a mat on our lac phillip night
We shivered and smiled with Coq au Vin wafting
while warming our souls with cool red wine
each crackle and cackle cemented the moment
to the icey crisps underfoot
with steady conspicuously knowing smiles
we watched the moonshadows stretch over eerie snow
'twas no better place nor time for yet one more story
which began in Gatineau's glory
with skiis, and snowshoe delights
just two friends finding friends
and a partner for life
 
kayaky