Getting the Right Distance


What do you do with feelings and situations that threaten to overwhelm and overpower? Clearning space is a way for the focuser to experience his own life energy sufficiently to work on problems, sensing some separation between Self and Problems. Sometimes, however, emotions and problems are too overwhelming for this. At such times, another approach is useful.

This article outlines one such approach. I find the technique very helpful both when I'm stuck myself and when a client is overpowered by strong feelings. The example given concerns depression, where my client in psychotherapy felt stuck in hopelessness and helplessness. Something was needed to access her own life energy and give her some perspective on her life situation. I am indebted to Mary McGuire, Program Director of the Focusing Institute, who taught me this approach.

When Janet arrived for her appointment that day, she had already had a useful insight into the depression for which she was seeking help. As the director of a large human services organization, she had become aware that the depression was tied in with having to coordinate so many people and departments. When she took on projects along, she said, she could "fly". All these levels of employees were dragging her down, making her task impossibly cumbersome. When she spoke of working alone and being able to "fly", there was the first spark of good energy in her heavy mood. I picked up on this, asking her to let that spark of good flying energy expand through her body.

When she looked more energized, I asked her if she could imagine herself camped on a mountainside. Later we would place the whole work situation distant enough from her campsite so she could observe it but not be threatened by it.

Janet agreed to try this. At last she told me she had settled into a protective cave where she felt safe, yet had a wonderful vista of the surrounding country. I suggested she find a proper distance for her organization. It could be on another mountain, up above, down below, wherever she felt comfortable yet in touch with it. Janet frowned at the effort of placing it. At first try, she got too close and shuddered. Then she tried putting it around the other side of the mountain. However, she could not see it there. I suggested a periscope, but that was not right either. She finally located a place far below where she could see it only with binoculars. She visibly relaxed, her breathing becoming more and more regular.

Everything was fine for the next few minutes. Then suddenly she tensed. There was a crisis below. A scout was climbing up the steep incline to find her. It felt all right to let him come, she said. We discussed what she would do when he got up to her. She would just listen. She would not try to fix anything. The scout approached and told her of the problem. Janet listened without advising and to her surprise, the scout came up with the solution himself! He then turned around, satisfied with the resolution, and went back down. Once again, Janet had some breathing space and looked more peaceful.

Then somebody else was coming up. Janet's muscles tightened and her breath became jerky. I suggested she try just listening again. This time, however, it was a problem the scout could not solve. Janet didn't know the answer either. Janet looked trouble, then took a deep breath. She told him to seek help from the appropriate consultant and keep her posted. This scout, like the first, went back down the mountainside, leaving Janet in peace.

Janet felt blissfully alone. Night was closing in on her campsite. The sky was brilliant with stars. Far below the work situation was still abuzz with activity which she could glance at if she chose. As for Janet, she was wonderfully peaceful, breathing in the clear delicious night air.

This was not the end of Janet's depression, but it did nudge the heaviness of her mood. It gave her a new way of finding her own good energy and some distance from her work situation - and as an unexpected bonus it gave her a new way of being in her role as administrator, encouraging others to exercise their strengths instead of always relying on her.

"Getting the Right Distance", The Focusing Connection, Vol V, No.2, March 1988.