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Boy George and pals

Washington at standstill during Cheney and Rumsfeld gun battle

America on red alert at approach of red planet

Bush declares war on al Katrina

Bush appoints Mr Pastry as UN envoy

Bush nominates Jerry Falwell for Pope

US to search for WMDs in Iraq

Bush to announce development of super superjumbo jet

Bush announces manned flight to Neptune

Dubya's Christmas Message: Herbie and Aubrey

Shock Pentagon revelation: Rumsfeld is a robot

Bush to dispense with Cabinet, hire God

Records suggest Bush failed kindergarten

Ridge raises terror alert to red, issues Pacman warning

Bush "suddenly remembers" service in Vietnam

White House reveals bin Laden plot against Democrats, orders "protective conscription"

Exclusive: Tape casts doubt on Bush's "no torture" claims

Rumsfeld orders correction to terrorist statistics correction

Bush vows decisive action against freedom-hating meteor

Pentagon hires Comical Ali to head Iraq PR

Bush sweeps Florida after recount in Democrat primary

USA censures Taiwan over its WMD programme

Bush orders military occupation of the moon

Bush orders pre-emptive strike against Yorkshire

US probe lands on Mars, begins search for WMD

Cheney found alive and well

Bush hails downfall of Sauron, asks for UN aid for Mordor reconstruction

Pentagon releases details of Guantanamo trials protocols

Bush, Rumsfeld in Halloween video campaign for Iraqi war effort

Rumsfeld endorses Israeli guard pig plan, promises support

Bush blames Saddam Hussein for solar storm

Bush drafts non-aggression agreement with North Korea

Bush appeals directly to Europeans for Iraq aid

Bush upset over Nobel Peace Prize, promises "decisive action"

Bush excited about forthcoming UK visit

White House sacks Bush speechwriters after poor UN performance

Bush to Hurricane Isabel: "Bring it on!"

Cheney look-alike blames Saddam Hussein™ for everything

US seeks alternative financing for its occupation of Iraq

Bush back at work, world safe once again

US finds planes, battleships, soldiers buried in Iraqi desert

Bush and officials to take turns accepting blame for bogus uranium claim

Pentagon: OK, so maybe the Iraqis had a cloaking device

Colin Powell demands attention from satirists

Bush offers himself as special advisor to God

Saddam Hussein™ offers $25 million reward for Cheney

U.S. prepares ground for more liberations

Bush and Rumsfeld in card game spat

Rumsfeld outraged at Satirists' Guild, threatens "forceful action"

Cheney sighted in Virginia, still alive - maybe

Rumsfeld to apologise for Iraq typo mistake

Ari Fleischer and "Comical Ali" to team up, write comedy

Belgium issues warrant for arrest of Rumsfeld

US lifts ban on French fries

Bush discusses Middle East peace with ABBA

Cheney to host special Who wants to be a millionaire?"

Pentagon to market George W. Bush action toys

Bush falls, hits head, declares war on U.S.


Gordon, Tony and chums

UK patients face transplant recall

Government to enforce happiness orders

No-cost peerages to be granted to all UK residents

Blair introduces honours for all scheme

Breaking News: Gordon Brown evicted from Number 11

Straw: "no evidence" Britain ever involved in slave trade

Government's right-think scheme for toddlers revealed

DeadBrain Exclusive: the full transcript of the Bush-Blair secret conversation

BREAKING NEWS: Blair bans Clarke, Blunkett reinstated

Home Secretary to promise crackdown on rowdy seniors

BREAKING NEWS: Cherie Blair barricaded in 10 Downing Street

Downing Street tea-lady's uncensored diary revealed

Administrative error means Chancellor will fulfil balanced budget pledge

Cherie Blair to give birth to twins

Blair expresses interest as Dr Who replacement

Blair confirmed as toughest on terror

Exclusive: Blunkett to join Tories

B-Man to go to Iraq to look for Saddam's WMDs

B-Man and The Chancellor locked in power struggle

David the Boy Wonder speaks on Batman palace intrusion

Metropolitan Police seek B-Man and Boy Wonder to assist with bogus Batman

Hutton to inquire into failure of inquiry into Hutton Inquiry leak

Mysterious caped crusader and assistant to tackle UK crime

Lord Hutton "reasonably satisfied" with Butler Report

Blair feared kidnapped, replaced by impostor

Government quietly lowers its performance standards

Downing Street rejects diplomats' challenge, casts suspicion on BBC

Blair orders declassification of WMD briefing document

Clare Short believed to be cornered by special force

Blair briefly hospitalised after spontaneously combusting

Hutton to conduct inquiry into Clare Short

Blairs to star in new "public information" soap opera

Blunkett proposes to criminalise everything

Alastair Campbell tipped to head new anti-crime agency

Downing Street drafts clarifications of Blair's statements on Iraq

Hutton to replace Dyke at BBC

Downing Street to deny pressuring Hutton to "sex up" report

Hutton to head inquiry into Hutton Inquiry leak

Government to introduce fixed payment rates for body parts

Blair pays surprise visit to traffic wardens

Government to extend on-the-spot fines to new areas

Tories offer to help Blair change direction

Britons to be required to pass language and citizenship test

Parents of pre-schoolers to attend remedial schooling

NHS to be closed for repairs

Government unhappy at low terrorist threat ranking

Government to extend the requirements for wearing protective clothing

Blair asks entire cabinet to apologise for everything

Government again renews pledge to cut street crime

An apology to Prime Minister Blair

Cherie Blair to sing at next year's Eurovision Song Contest

Blair's forged Iraq documents may have been forged forgeries

Blunkett struggles to understand new crime stats

Government hails NHS statistics success

Blair to phase himself out of office?

UK to renounce decimal currency, revert to £sd

Exclusive: Blix to seek Words of Massive Deception in Blair's speeches

UK to introduce two-tier toll roads

Train-spotting to be banned in UK

Blairs to move into Buckingham Palace


Evil-doers

Robert Mugabe returned to power in Zimbabwe

Axis of Evil replaced by Outposts of Tyranny

Bin Laden's driver charged with terror traffic offences

Saddam Hussein promises Iraq truce in return for release

Guantanamo Bay interpreters suspected of Comical Ali influence

Taliban preparing for comeback tour of Afghanistan

Comical Ali: Saddam's sons are not dead

Saddam Hussein™ offers $25 million reward for Cheney

Saddam Hussein to feature in next Harry Potter novel

Evil leaders threaten to sue Bush and Rumsfeld

Iraq loses "Most Evil Nation" status, faces relegation


Life with the Battenberg-Saxe-Coburg-Gotha-Windsors

Prince Harry Potter will go to Iraq: MoD

Prince Philip held after lap dancing incident

DeadBrain exclusive: Prince Charles's diary revealed

Prince Philip arrested outside Daily Mirror offices

Rolf Harris beheaded

Prince Just William to tackle plight of homeless

Queen orders cost-cutting measures for royal garden parties

Plans for alternative delivery of Royal Family functions revealed

Exclusive: Prince Charles's teachers' college plans revealed

Deirdre and Ken Barlow to replace Charles and Camilla

Exclusive: Royal wedding postponed again

Clarence House issues clarification on Prince Charles's "bloody people"

Companies in bidding war over Royal Blessing rights

The Wedding: Lord Falconer clarifies clarification

Buckingham Palace reveals reason for Queen not attending wedding

Prince Harry Potter to marry Jenna Bush

Palace denies Harry swastika incident herbally-induced

Prince Charles in Crisps for Snobs row

Prince Harry Potter denies allegations of cheating in A-level magic

Royal Family to publish own newspaper

Prince Philip arrested after attempting to shoot artist

Royal Family to be vetted in security drive

Buckingham Palace cancels Sun subscription

Prince Philip in peasant-shooting row

Prince Charles more popular than sex

Royals to be moved outside London

Royal Family obtains injunction against itself

Prince Charles changes name, becomes *

Prince Charles's potted plants to move out of Clarence House

Royals to issue blanket denial of all unspecified allegations

Prince Charles welcomes results of GM survey

Disney in take-over bid for Royal Family

Royal Family threatens strike action

Buckingham Palace "unhappy" with Bean monarchy report


Miscellanea

BBC admits to more faking it

Exclusive: How the Harry Potter story ends

Missing ex-prisoners: Government threatens to sue Microsoft

Bird Flu: Troops to secure, seal off Norfolk

Bird Flu: Government announces nationwide cull of birds

Bird Flu: Terrorist link proven "without a doubt"

Campbell announces Lib Dem leadership rota

Duncan Smith in come-back bid

Branson announces pirate fertility clinic

Huge crowds miss petrol protests

NASA issues assurance of shuttle safety after window cover falls off

France claims victory in Trafalgar re-enactment, demands control of UK

Mayhem in USA as Ten Commandments rescinded

Tories to adopt "interim leader of the day"

Peter Snow to revamp BBC weather map and graphics

ID cards to be offered in three levels

DeadBrain on reduced service during 24-hour strike

Candidates for interim Tory leader begin to emerge

BREAKING NEWS: Fox News declares Conservative victory

Howard promises to improve the weather

Wales and Cornwall to merge, Isle of Bute may follow

Britons unite to witness and celebrate a happy event

Royal residences to be moved to secret location following latest security breach

New pope to be chosen by internet voting

MI6 wins, JIC loses in intelligence shake-up

US report slams human rights abuses, fails to notice irony

Breaking News: First arrests made under snow emergency anti-terrorism powers

Apathy Party reveals non-platform, set for election win

Valentine's Day messages

Breaking News: Ellen MacArthur refused entry to UK

Kilroy-Silk to split up

Kilroy-Silk and Howard to unite, form Back and Forth Party

Northern Ireland power-sharing talks collapse yet again, again

Scientists excited by unique large-eared dinosaur fossil

DeadBrain seeks reaction to the Queen's Speech

Near tragedy during BBC coverage of US election

Lord Hutton to withdraw report, apologise to BBC

US to invade Greenland to remove threat from lack of WMD

Satirists disillusioned with party conferences, look to Tories for better material

Virgin Galactic space flight service to emulate Virgin Trains

Comical Ali implicated in Allawi speech

Landed aristocracy to abandon UK

Choppers for Honesty to take on Swift Boats for Truth

A-level results show UK on track to becoming nation of geniuses

Tories ponder bringing back Winston Churchill as leader

Government to blast doctors for not reporting errors

Ronald Reagan to visit Satan's "evil empire"

Public schools, street criminals join forces against charities bill

UK bans condoms after Blair attack

Daily Mirror denies involvement in latest palace intrusion

Code-breakers tackle Howard's "I believe" document

Daily Mirror: Is the British Army a fake?

Secret US plan to turn Iraq over to Halliburton uncovered

US to withdraw from Iraq, start again

Argos chain to offer cut-price degrees

Bootle man calls for protest against "British FBI" plan

Government to buy "no frills" private sector operations for NHS

Budget 2004: The reviews

US to occupy newly-discovered planet

Lords in loo lock-in over reform proposals

Alastair Campbell denies responsibility for BBC fire alarm

DeadBrain's Oscars predictions for 2004

Officials apologise for inflated obesity figures, blame Monty Python

Diplomas for all proposed in major education shake-up

Iain Duncan Smith to join cast of Teletubbies

NHS to use understudies to lower costs, eliminate waiting lists

Howard pledges to outlaw waccy baccy, alcopops and Britney Spears

UK air traffic control to upgrade to Flight Simulator 2004

Iain Duncan Smith offers Blair "ousting" counselling

Expert group declares toasters safe

Rusedski just tip of iceberg in Canadian plot

US to require urine samples from visitors

Britons angry at on-the-spot fines for expired televison licences

France to ban "symbols of stereotyping", introduce customer service

The Times to "dumb down" tabloid edition, add page 3 girl

Alien invasion alert in central London - abductions feared

Secret plan for Britain to adopt US time zone, drive on right during Bush visit

BBC to sue Howard over alleged Dr Who rip-off

DeadBrain obtains discarded IDS political "thriller"

Fiennes to be approached to seek Tory leadership

Duncan Smith demands dry cleaning be returned by Wednesday

Rumsfeld seeks UK help in target-setting and performance metrics

Duncan Smith victim of Conservative-Labour bidding war

WHO moves to contain IDS outbreak in Blackpool

Schwarzenegger to decriminalise groping

Newsreaders hospitalised after Duncan Smith promise

Branson considering Iraq bid

BBC to sex itself up

Union criticises first unpowered flight across Channel

Liberation of Iraq to be re-enacted for Crimewatch

BBC admits error, offers apology to Blair

Dr. Who declares SARS defeated

Weekend countryfolk to challenge hunting ban

Harry Potter publication new biggest news story ever

Ground Force team to do make-over of Baghdad

A-level results to be released next week

Iraqi WMD found, Bush and Blair vindicated

Upset at International Oratory Championships in Evian

US raises satirist alert to Level Orange