And it came to pass that the sons of Kahn, who dwelt in the valley
of Scotts, in the land of Cali-fornia, fell upon hard times. For they were
hard plagued by the Mic-rosoftees who dwelt in the north, yet ruled all the
lands around, and forced all to bow down and pay tribute before their
god Vi Su-Albahsic. And there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth in the
valley, and also much careful reading of the Situations Vacant
And then An-ders, an elder in the tribe of the sons of Kahn, dreamed
a dream. And he called together all the tribe and spake unto them saying:
Brothers - last night I dreamed that everyone in the world paid tribute to
the god Vi Su-Albahsic. And the Mic-rosoftees did come down into the
valley of Scotts, and forced all men who dwelt there to worship Vi Su-Albahsic.
And the sons of Kahn gave in and became programmers like Jerripur-Nel, the
scribe of Bytemag, who toileth still upon Roberta’s Basic flash-card
program; yea, yet he hath toiled upon it for seven and four-score years or
more, as it seemeth to me.
And An-ders spake, saying: Do you want this to happen?
And the sons of Kahn replied as one saying: Indeed, we sodding well do
And so the sons of Kahn looked once more upon Tur Bhopas-kal, and into
the void which was called Owl. And they saw that, while
calling it a void was a tad unfair, there was plenty of scope for
improvement. And An-ders and Gar’ee and Zackur-Lockur and Giant I and many
others girded up their loins, and toiled long and hard. And together they
And TObject conceived, and begat TPersistent. And TPersistent begat
TComponent, and TComponent begat TControl, and TControl begat TWinControl,
and TWinControl begat TCustomControl, and TCustomControl begat TCustomGrid,
and TCustomGrid begat TDrawGrid, and TDrawGrid begat TStringGrid.
And TObject also begat Exception, and Exception begat EMathError, and
EMathError [that’s enough begatting - Ed.]
And so it came to pass that the fruit of TObject’s loins were indeed
fruitful, and the whole multiplied much. And the tribe of TObject’s children
was known as Veesee-ell. And Tur Bhopas-kal was henceforth named by the name
of Delphi, by decree of the department of market, who had once spent a happy
fortnight in Corfu, and was wise in the ways of the Greeks.
When the sons of Kahn looked upon Veesee-ell and Delphi, and they saw
that Delphi micturith upon the head of Vi Su-Albahsic, as though from the
top of the mountain of Rockee.
And the sons of Kahn were glad within their hearts, indeed they were well
And there was much wining and celebration and slaughtering of fatted
calves in the valley of Scotts, with plenty of alcohol-free and
meat-free alternatives laid on for those who cannot partake of strong drink
or murdered animals for reasons of medication or creed or obstinacy, or
because their girlfriends won’t let them.
And by all a good time was had.
And it came to pass that two seasons came and went. And the first season
was rich and fruitful for the sons of Kahn, and their bellies grew round and
plump with milk and honey.
But the second season was thin and lean, and was a time of famine. For
verily the department of market of the sons of Kahn was not unpractised at
snatching defeat, yea even from the very jaws of victory. And the sound of
weeping and wailing was heard once more in the valley.
And one day An-ders journeyed to the wilderness, and wept and wailed and
cried out unto the Lord, saying ‘Shall I spend the rest of my days tinkering
with a Pascal compiler I wrote 15 years ago? Couldn’t I have a go at
something else? Shall I never have stock options which consistently increase
in value? Can I not be on the winning side for a change?’
And it so happened that nearby stood a scout for the tribe of the
Mic-rosoftees, disguised as a juniper bush. And he heard An-ders cry out.
And he came forward to An-ders, saying, ‘Can I be of assistance?’
And one thing led unto another.
And when the sons of Kahn heard what had happened, they put upon the
matter a brave face saying: An-ders hath worked but a little on
recent releases, we will be on time with Delphi 3.0, we are sorry to see him
go, of course, but this will not impact any of our technology.
But friends of the sons of Kahn remembered the wisdom of M’andee-rice
Davis. And such men were sore afraid for the sons of Kahn.