The goth Bible: A Compendium for the Darkly Inclined

The + Section Speaks

Here are a few of the questions I asked The + Section, and their answers in full, which did not appear in the book.
If you see a ? mark under a particular name, it means that person either did not answer that question,
or the answer was indecipherable.
In the case of Question #6, a ? could mean that the person did not receive the second set of 13 questions
which were sent out almost a year after the first set.
By that time, emails had changed, and sadly, some of The + Section was lost.

Here are the questions, both #s 5 and 6 are two questions combined:

Question #1: What was your first experience of encountering goth, and what moved you into this realm?

Question #2: If your life has changed since you became goth, what was it like before and what is it like now?

Question #3: Have you ever cut yourself, and if so, how often? If you have any insights into why, please share them.

Question #4: Have you ever attempted suicide, or considered it?

Question #5: How has being goth helped you to learn about yourself and about the world, and what have you learned?

Question #6: Do you find yourself more nationalistic, more frightened, more conservative, more angry (or any other reactions) since 9/11 and what has come to pass since then?/
The world has altered dramatically because of those events. How do you think the changes will effect goths?

Question #7: If you could tell someone attracted to the gothic lifestyle just one thing about being goth, what would that be?
Any final thoughts?

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Question #1: What was your first experience of encountering goth, and what moved you into this realm?

50 Ft Queenie
I didn't hear the word goth until I went to university.
I used to go to a weekly club night called The Grave where all the freaks hung out,
not just goths, but punks, skaters, and just general misfits. We all hung out together in a loose sort of alliance,
and that was my first experience with an "alternative" community.

aLiCe
Some very cool goths and punks at my high school. I started off punk, but moved to all black by the time I was 15, and I had already read Poe and Henry James, so other 'gothic' literature followed. Also, after discovering the Sisters of Mercy sometime around age 12, I couldn't help but try to emulate my hero...

Amanda
I would have to say my first experience would be as a young child admiring the very large mansions I would pass by on my way home from school. As I matured, I became more familiar with the darkwave genre of music and dress
which appealed to my tastes.

Angel
The first time i realized there were others out there like me, was when my son turned 18 and asked to go to a night club that played music he had been hearing on a late night radio station called The Edge. That was when I saw others that loved black clothes, which I had been wearing on a regular basis since high school in the mid 70's... Others who knew and loved the same authors I did, knew and loved the same movies I did... But that was when I found the musical side of it.

Angel in PVC
I don't remember-it seems like I was always this way.

angelus
Ever since 5th grade I dressed in all black and so the kids just started calling me goth; later on I found more kids like me
and we started hanging out. Now I hang out with more experienced goths.

Arantèle
Meeting a whole bunch of creative talented people.

ariana
I don't remember first encountering goth, though I embraced it more once I was in my thirties and had the freedom to do so.

Azazelle
I was shopping in a mall, and I saw this amazing guy dressed like someone from a past century, but with an edgy twist of androgyny, pale face, dark eyeliner, long black hair. I had never seen such a thing before, and I instantly wanted to know more about it. This was a form of beauty, far beyond the commonplace. Of course it turned out to be Morpheus, who I subsequently got to know, along with the rest of the subcultural trappings.

Billy MOD
My first experience with goth sensibilities lies in the music. During the early 80's I was in secondary school and started listening to a lot of new wave at the time. By the mid 80's I acquired a particular fondness for gothic elements within the new wave movement such as The Cure, Bauhaus, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Joy Division. I graduated high school in 1985 at which time I started going to bars/clubs (the legal drinking age in Winnipeg is 18 yrs). The budding gothic club scene further propagated my pursuits within the gothic realm. By the late 80's and early 90's I was well into
the goth/industrial/altern. music scene.
I also had strong interests in Industrial and Punk music.

biogoth
First experience? Listening to a Siouxsie and the Banshees album (Tinderbox) when I was in high school and being absolutely blown away. It was like nothing I'd ever heard before and I loved it. But I didn't really "move into the realm" until I was a little older, when I was in the Air Force and stationed in England. In America, I had always been a generalized "punk/alternative" sort of person, but in England the lines were much more sharply drawn. I was always wearing black and listening to Siouxsie and the Sisters and Bauhaus, and people told me, "You're not a punk. You're a goth." So I said to myself, okay, what the hell, I'm a goth. And it stuck.
An expanded version of the story is on my Web site, http://www.sff.net/people/Daniel.Dvorkin

Blue elf
Friends in high school. I wore lots of black and joined Stage Crew.

C.B.
Attending a Peter Murphy concert. It was the first time where I saw that being different from everyone else could actually mean something positive--that I wasn't alone-there were other different people out there too.

Calhoun
When I was in High School and I got tired of dealing with all the punks and metal heads. I was less inclined to go headbanging and binge drinking and happier sitting in my room reading and listening to sad music. I proclaimed myself to be "gothic", not knowing that "Goth" was an actual sub-culture.
After that discovery I threw myself into the scene.

Calista Waterwoods
Always liked to be different and didn't want to be bothered at school...did my best despite being afraid of people.

Candy Derakh
I'd have to say my first experience of goth was when I saw my first vampire movie when I was about 4 years old. :{laughing}: I was hiding under an end table watching the movie so my parents wouldn't find me. I wasn't allowed to watch "horror movies". Since then I've had a passion for the "dark side" and haven't been able to
shake its ever-obvious presence in my life.

Cemetery Crow
Returning from watching a film one Sunday night, I decided to check-out a club. It was smoky and all these beautiful people dressed in black and wearing silver accessories were dancing and chatting in small groups. I had reached heaven. I was tired of the vulgar simplicity of clubbers (the meat market enthusiasts) and had found an avenue for my own fantasies, abilities and just plain optimism. And the music was great. So I returned again and again and again.

Chad
Just my own feelings...where I got into, the location, goth didn't exist.

creepy
I was introduced into the goth lifestyle by a friend of mine. I have this tendency to talk to everyone and she was there at the mall and I just commented on a ring and she was wearing and we have now become friends. I crossed over as she would say not because I wanted to be someone else but because I felt right there.
(Plus I love the clothes, makeup, hair and the music involved.)

Crucifixia
My first experience was listening to the rock group The Cure when I was about fourteen, and was entranced by Robert Smith, the singer. Since I idolized him, I began picking up his mode of dress. My first real experience within the subculture was meeting my husband in 1992, and he exposed me to the local goth scene.

cypher
Started from the industrial side of the musical spectrum in college. Moved into Goth because of music (Sisters of Mercy, Bauhaus, Joy Division, The Cure, New Model Army, etc.) and an interest in Gothic literature.
Always liked to dress in black anyway.

Daevina
My cousin is gothic and I think she was the one who inspired me because I thought she was more interesting to look at than the "normal" people I was forced to coexist with each day. I always had this sense that I wasn't like other people. No matter what I did to fit in, it just wouldn't work. I became very sad and lonely so I started to wear a lot of black because it seemed to be the only way to express myself. The more people picked on me, the more "out there" I started to look. It was a manner of defiance for me. To add to that, I always had this attraction for the dark and the night, I'm not sure why, I guess it's something that's innate for me.

daoine o'
Nothing specific; heard the music, liked the look and attitude, it seemed to encompass many of the same interests I had.

Davis
My first experience was when my young cousins died when I was in grade 8. I dressed all in black the next day at school and I enjoyed it. It made me feel as if I were invisible. When I entered high school I was overwhelmed with the people the sheer number of people and how they all dressed similarly. Even the punks who weren't "supposed" to dress like everyone else dressed the same as each other. So I began just wearing black clothes then I bought a trench coat, then I started listening to different music other than Backstreet Boys and crap like that. Different stuff depressing, yet uplifting all at the same time. Since then I have only changed further, more black only. I've begun to experiment with makeup

Deacon Syth
A friend in high school who slowly exposed me to several of bands I liked that fit in with the 'goth' scene. I soon became enamored with and fascinated by its beauty. It lets the inner self truly become apparent and exposed.

deadly
My first experience is when I started to inhabit the mall; there is where I met what you would call old-school goths who introduced me into the scene and the music.

Decaying Ivy
Music. It was touching and as I learned more and more about the scene I learned that it was just more and more
exactly what I wanted to be.

DJ Caluna
First experience: A concert of Sisters of Mercy was the first time I completely dressed like a gothic. The feeling of belonging to that special group of "weird & sexy" looking people was overwhelming and I didn't want anything else after that.
I was 14 at that time.

DJ Ladybee
The first goths I saw in real life were in West Berlin. I was on an exchange program with a high school there, and saw them sitting around the base of the Kurfurstentdamm cathedral. At the time I had no idea what they were, other than some cool-looking people who resembled Robert Smith. I asked my host family about them and was told they were called "Wavers". Later, I went away to college in Knoxville, TN, a slightly larger city than the small town I'd grown up in. My first night there, a friend and I sought out a notorious club called Planet Earth, where I actually met a handful of goths. It was then that I realized there was a whole subculture out there.

Dusk
My first love.

Elusis
I developed a relationship with an acquaintance who was goth and started investigating online to find out everything I could about the subculture. I found it appealing and started listening to the music and incorporating more of the fashion. I finally visited my friend in London where he lived and let him take me to some goth clothing stores, goth hangouts, and goth clubs, where I realized I felt totally comfortable for the first time in my life. Eventually my friend became my husband.

Emily Bronte
I remember just feeling very drawn to the simplicity of black clothing and the costume-feel of Medieval-style sleeves. It was a natural progression from my interests in mythology, Gypsy folk tales and Medieval history.

GOTHIC39
A girlfriend from my high school days. I was a closet goth at the time. At the time I was in high school, I was a geek,
she was more of an punker type goth

GothicBeauty
I loved the Gothic culture and what not ever since I could remember.

Gothikka
When I was in high school in the early 80's, there was no 'goth' to speak of. It was the metal music lifestyle. I had dressed 'metal' all through high school, and I have also been Wiccan all my life, like my father. When I was about 24, I realized the metal fad was gone, and there was nothing I liked to replace it, so I was dressing normally. I worked at a grocery store, and this regular customer was always wearing a big black heavy cape, very dramatic makeup, etc. She came through my line, and I said to her, 'You still believe Metal has a chance?' and she said, 'Oh no, dear. I'm a goth.' I ran home, looked online and found I could STILL dress the same way, had the same 'tastes' I had then, and would just be under a different 'label'. I had my hair pink in 1985 when no one else did. :)

Gypsy
I had been attracted to the "scene" for years but never had the courage to dress the way I REALLY wanted to. So, my sophomore year in high school I said, "Fuck it, I'm going all out", went shopping for clothes,
and allowed myself the freedom to be myself.

Hardrock Llewynyth
Well, as previously mentioned, I encountered it mainly through the Usenet newsgroup alt.gothic. I had known a few other goths previous to this, but never really had a strong experience with the subculture. Mostly it was about finding people who shared a similar aesthetic, outlook, and sense of humor. Where I wouldn't be ridiculed for being "mopey" or "depressing", where I could find people who wouldn't always be denigrating my lifestyle choices or my wardrobe.

Individuation
When I was in high school I hung out with all skater punks. That was my first introduction to anything non- mainstream (they weren't at the point). I remember hearing the band skinny puppy for the first time my junior year, and around the same time I got into the band My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult. Then my freshman year of college I met this adorable Asian punk girl, and we became fast friends. Somehow in the middle of the year she decided to change her look. Gone was the red hair, baby Ts, and corduroys--in its place was shiny black hair, long flowing black skirts, black lace shirts...complete elegance. Being a little punk rock girl, myself, I always felt kind of tomboyish next to her. She was just gorgeous. She and another friend of ours started introducing me to bands like Siouxsie and the Banshees and The Coceteau Twins, and I loved the music. I started hanging out with some of her goth friends, but I didn't change my look at that point. During the end of my freshman year I went through a very painful break up with a boy that I was crazy about--and you know how some women need to change their look after a break up? They need to do something different? That was what I went through. This boy lived at home, not at school, so the summer I went home from college I started dressing up. I found I had a creative flair for it. I would go to thrift stores and put together what might seem like really odd combinations, and they worked. When I started showing up in my long black shirts and knee high boots, dark lipstick, dark eye makeup, etc., boys who had known me for years were stopping and saying "Holy shit, you look gorgeous! What did you do?" I loved the positive attention, I loved the music, I loved standing out in a crowed, I loved the other goths I was meeting. I was hooked.

jain doe
Just the way I am.

Jennie
Probably that purple dress I mentioned [elsewhere in the interview]. I've never consciously moved anywhere.
I've just been me.
Goth came along, and we found ourselves in the same place.

Jetgirl
To tell you the truth, I don't remember going over the edge from 'glam' to 'goth', I guess it was just a natural progression but I know it was about 1974-5. I also don't remember my first experience. In the far SW suburbs of SheCago, I guess 'I' was my first experience. To be goth is to be an unafraid unique individual. Attention and my aura of mystery to those around me. Attention and pre-judgment by non-goths about who I am or what I'm like. Also the 'Halloween comments'. Get a life kids! I've ALWAYS loved and dressed in black.

Johnny Formaldehyde
I suppose my aunt was my first brush with Goth, and she's what got me into it. She handed me a Cure CD one day and told me to listen to it. Before that I was into old horror films (on a survey in fourth grade I listed Bela Lugosi as my favorite actor AND spelled his name correctly!).

Jola
I suppose I encountered traditional goth in high school. Like I said previously, I always considered myself more punk, but it's a subtle distinction sometimes, we share some roots.

Kate
I heard a radio show when I was 15 that played goth music. I loved what I heard.

Katwoman
I had never felt comfortable with the small-town South Carolina scene-- I hated all that Christianity, pastel colors, duck decorations and pickup trucks. Starting in puberty I latched onto anything with even a tinge of goth that appeared down south, like Soft Cell and the B52's in the early 80's, and Halloween makeup--but I didn't realize what it was. My two biggest experiences were (1) being exposed to a huge range of New Wave/goth music when I was 13, and (2) making a close sexy Goth friend at the age of 21 and realizing that I wasn't the only one out there who wanted to wear all black and shop at the Salvation Army. At 22 I dyed my hair pure white, wore black lipstick and all-black clothing, listened only to techno, industrial, and goth music, and found a (very small) subculture at the University of South Carolina who did the same. I had arrived. I did not experience extreme trauma as a youngster (no abuse, no deaths, no horrible experiences, etc), although I NEVER felt like I fit in with my peers in high school and couldn't wait to get out and make a different life for myself.

Krockmitaine
I think it was in the air of the day. I loved the clothes, the look, the Victorian esthetics behind the movement and the music. Everyone back then was a goth, well almost. So I can't single out a single person who introduced me into the ways and customs of a "typical" goth way of life. It came as an extension of my earlier experiences as a new waver. Again a movement in which I loved the music and the clothes. When the Cold Wave came, it was a natural extension of my earlier experiences and from then on, there was no coming back.

Lestat de Lioncourt
Vampires I read vampire stories way back in 3rd grade. My fascination increase every day until this very minute. Secondly, Religion. I live in country where religion is fed to the children without giving them any choice. I found that repulsive and restraining, not to mention personally insulting. By 5th grade I was looking for other sources of "spiritual enlightenment" outside the context of Christianity... until I turned into a Victor Frankenstein of religion.

LiFreak
I'm a kid in 6th grade so I go to school, that's all. I lost the other questions sorry.

Lisiblac
As a kid, my school participated in an above average number of student exchange programs. When I was fourteen, the new wavy/punk crowd I ran with gradually absorbed and incorporated the darker sounds and ideas that we saw in the German students that many of us had staying in our homes each year. In 1987, I went to Germany and lived with my partner student, Susanne, who had stayed with me in New York twice. She and her brother were gothy and showed me around the German scene. Honestly, I've always seen goth as a German culture that was just packaged and sold by the UK music industry. The UK is good at that. They also did it with Rock n' Roll (invented out of blues in the states then repackaged and market-cornered by the UK,) they did it with Punk (New York born,) and they also did it with techno (Chicago born.)

Lord Madd
I've always been this way, even before I'd ever heard of "Goth".

Madame X
The first time I ever saw goth folks was at the Sterling Forest NY Renaissance Faire in 1985. There on the far rocks and there bellow that willow tree, beautiful people clad in their best black finery of leather, lace, velvet, parasols and…really nice boots. They pierced my essence with their decorated eyes, wild jet hair and their timeless porcelain faces. I didn't know who they were but they've dwelled in me since. I wanted to be just like them. About a year later I was invited to go to a 'New wave' club somewhere in a 'bad' section of Newark (NJ) called the Pipeline & I dressed for the occasion, in wacky square print outfit. When I arrived at the main gate, I saw loitering about those same beautiful people I had encountered before at the Faire. Quickly I went back home & changed my attire to something more appropriate. The Pipeline became my second home, as it was for many of my friends. Today, the Pipeline is gone; only a parking lot marks this historic spot.

Malinda
My first experience with "goths" must have stemmed from some darker punks I hung out with as a younger person (about 9 or 10) on Pearl St (a walking mall in Boulder, CO). I was fascinated with their style, but something was missing. I preferred a more elegant style as opposed to the safety pins and ripped up tights. In Junior High I met my first "goth" who took me to my first club--a club called Ground Zero on University Hill in Boulder. I was instantly hooked and became a permanent weekend fixture until the club's closing around 1996. For me, it was about the style and being able to live out fantasies in a real world environment. Dressing up in ways that had not been mainstream for hundreds of years appealed to me as a young romantic girl. A romance I suppose I never grew out of. Not to mention dancing. I had been a dancer since I was very young (about 7) and loved the idea that instead of going to a studio to practice,
I could go to a place with elegant decor and fun people.

Marcelous
My first expereince was with a friend over the internet. He showed me the door.

Medea
When I reached "drinking age" and starting clubbing. I was going to college, and was drawn to the music and culture of a certain local nightclub.

Micah
I bought a Smash Hits magazine (in 1984)--the British equivalent of Star Hits. There were two bands interviewed in there, Gene Loves Jezebel, and Strawberry Switchblade. They intrigued me, and I went and bought their albums. The Cure came next. Christian Death not long after. The rest is obvious... :-)

Miss Lynx
Difficult to say because a lot depends on how you define "goth". Probably the first band I ever heard that would fall into that category was Siouxsie and the Banshees. I remember when Kaleidoscope came out, around 1980-ish, when I was really just starting to get into music and my tastes were running in a sort punk/new wave direction ("new wave"--now that's dated! Remember when people actually used that term?) Their stuff was a lot more complex and interesting than most of what I was listening to at the time and I found it really entrancing. Of course, the term "goth" wasn't really in common use then, at least not in Canada, so I didn't think of them that way. But it set a precedent for me liking dark, moody, kind of ethereal music. I never did have quite the same tastes as most of the punk crowd I hung around with in the early to mid 80s. I more or less fit into that scene but not quite. I think the first time I got accused of being something along the lines of a goth was when I dyed my hair black in 1985 after wrecking it with too much bleach and CrazyColour and one of my punk friends looked at me disapprovingly and said I looked like "one of those death-punks", which was the term then in use for what I guess you could call proto-goths. In the latter half of the 80s I got more into industrial music, and played in two bands at different points. It was also around then that the goth scene really began to develop in Toronto. Unfortunately, it was looked on with utter contempt by most of the people I hung out with, who considered goths to be sort of pretentious, vacuous, fashion victims, so that didn't exactly give me a lot of incentive to explore it. Again, though, I would get people in the industrial scene occasionally looking askance at my mostly black wardrobe, occult interests, depressive disposition, etc. and make teasing comments about whether I was really "one of those..." Of course, given the pejorative associations of the term in those circles, "I'm not a goth!" became my motto. By the mid 90s I'd more or less fallen out of the music scene altogether because grad school was eating up my life, I'd mostly lost touch with a lot of my industrial contacts after dropping out of the second band I'd been in, and even the main friend I went to clubs with through the early 80s had moved to Vancouver, so without anyone else urging me to go out and be a social being I kind of reverted to holing up in my apartment with my books and essays--I'm pretty introverted by nature, so going out and being social requires a fair bit of either effort on my own or encouragement by others. I was also feeling a certain amount of pressure to tone down the all-black thing, and the sense that being a freak was something I should have outgrown by then being as I was over 30. So I let my hair go back to its natural color, mostly stopped wearing makeup, tried incorporating more colors into my wardrobe--but I never really felt quite comfortable that way, probably because I was doing it more in response to peer pressure than because I actually wanted to. I'd buy the same sweater in four different colors, and then the black one would be the only one of the four I wore unless it was laundry day. And I still occasionally had people calling me a goth, and I still emphatically denied it. Ironically, the turning point for me was the Columbine incident. But that's a separate question, so I'll deal with that there.

Mistress Hades
I hit 14, couldn't wear any other color but black for more than 10 minutes, I liked the pale faced goth look and started painting myself that way. I bought some Bauhaus records on spec and loved them!

moonglum
Well, it was a U-Haul truck, and I was driving down Interstate 78 looking for a place to live. Goth, NJ popped into view, and beckoned me hither. Seriously, now, it's just what attracted me. I think deeply, feel deeply, care deeply.
I enjoy things that aren't mundane.

morbius
I went to a club back in Dallas, it had to be the first time I actually went to one where it was nothing but goth
and I fell in love with it.

museumbitch
Goth defined as such: through the internet about 1996-7.

Mylucretia
Working technical theatre in high school. All of the techies were gothic & it almost came naturally to me
to move in that cultural direction.

Nadia
Seeing The Sisters on TV ("This Corrosion" video); hearing Fields of the Nephilim on the radio. Started buying the music, then got to know a Goth when he joined my classes at school. Realised I liked same music as him, got on really well, was introduced by him to lots of other music (Cure, Banshees, Bauhaus, 4AD stuff like Xymox & Cocteaus). Gradually drifted into the image & the scene. Primarily music driven, to start off with, but I met lots of people that I got on with far better than I did with my peers at school, so it became very socially oriented as well. Ended up joining bands, running a fanzine & generally very involved.

Nevermore
Started out as a Manson kid, but grew out of it.

Nimue
I always liked the dark side, from since I was a little kid. My mom was worried about that, because Wiccans are supposed to stay on the 'good' side. One of my friends called me when I was 13, and she asked if I wanted to go to this party. When I came there, I found out it was a gothic party. I felt so at home there, like I came back to where I belong after being away for years. And I've been a goth ever since.

Paola
My very, very first experience was not pleasant: I was about 12, and the very first Goths (whom I reckon will be 45ish by now) used to gather in the main square of my home town, which I had to walk through every day. I was rather scared of them because people said they were violent, (they were a totally new thing and we thought they were as dangerous as real, tough London punks) so I always walked all around the square instead of through it. I can't remember how I became really aware of the Goth scene; I was already a Bowie fan back then, so I must have read something about this new style of music that reminded me of Bowie's latest (as in "Low" or "Scary Monsters") style of music. I used to read imported British music magazines religiously--I still own them--and slowly I learned to recognize all these brilliant-looking, provocative bands. This was when The Cure was new and exciting, Japan was chic and Sisters of Mercy didn't even exist (luckily).

pink spider
80s dark new wave music and role-playing games.

Prosthetic God
I first encountered the gothic culture when I was reading about different bands I liked on the internet. I found there were other people like me who dressed all in black, wore makeup, had long hair, and liked these bands that none of my friends did.

RaVeN
Well it was this guy I always saw at the mall and I was like well he's awesome so I just became friends with him and got interested in being gothic

Ravenheart
My first experience was in the streets of New Orleans. I once overheard someone refer to me as "that gothic little artist". I had a fascination with the cemeteries there, and would wander through them and create these in-depth, dark ghost stories to go along with the names on the crypts. I love cemetery art, and began to photograph the sculptures and incorporate them into my art. I have always loved black, and wore it constantly, and with my knee-length dark hair, and dark eyes, my schoolmates began to call me a vampire or witch. I never cared what they thought of me, and if I spooked them,
so much the better.

Reynaldo
I found other people that I never thought I'd find in my life. People with other ways of thinking and experiences,
who never finish learning.

rinaedin
Just from reading different books.

Rois
I'd been playing around online sometime in '95, and came across this "goth" thing--it appealed to me, and I realized that it was something I was into already, without knowing what it was, or that it existed anyhow.

Sage
I had to switch schools due to moving with different relatives, and the school I came from and the school I switched to were different schools entirely. This new area which I move to is diverse, and her is when I first saw the style. The people who were into this style were more like myself, and they were more accepting. Generally I liked the style to begin with, but I knew once I talked to the people who actually dressed this way that I could do what I wanted to, and they would always accept me.

Sally
In Quebec city at the bar Shoeclack Déchainé. I was 16 years old then (shame on me, I was already clubbing ;^) I was a colorful regular in a New Wave club when I tried the Shoeclack and saw the Corbeaux (Crows) as people called them then. I found them visually beautiful, creative and sophisticated, their way of dancing to their music very inspiring. I guess I had a crush them (I have to confess that a certain guy helped a bit too to get me to notice that crowd)

Samael
Discovering the nightclub Sanctuary and realizing that there was a whole subculture that I belonged to.

Shekinah
Hard to pinpoint. My brother I guess. I got to watch him go through His own motions of "transforming" himself.
It fascinated me

Silver Moon
I found a site with goth dresses 2 years ago...everything started with it.

Sire Cédric
My first encounter with the goth way of life was visual: I was a teenager then and for years, all my life as a matter of fact, I had felt alienated from the mainstream world, and desperate to find a place in this ugly reality, until one day when I saw a group of people dressed in black walking in the street. I never knew who they were; back then I was far too shy to just go and talk to them. But at that very moment, I knew that was how I wished I looked, that was exactly the way I saw myself in my dreams, and I never realized it was possible to be that way in real life, that it was okay to be what I really was inside. During the same period I started to write stories full of beautiful and sad people dressed in black, and romantic ghosts and burning desires, and it became an artistic obsession for me that still burns in my veins and drives my pen. Only a couple of years after that first encounter did I hear dark music, on a local radio (it was a doom metal band) and again I thought: so much beauty and so much despair, how did I live without knowing that existed?

Sky Claudette
Well I have basically been gothic throughout my life although my first taste of blood came 8 years ago when I met Vlad on Halloween at the old bank night club when it was a gothic space. I had met him once before briefly passing by but didn't really get to talk 'till the night of Halloween well I knew what I was looking for at the time as I was searching for others like myself for quite some time & stumbled across him not thinking anything just voicing to him what I was in search of & I bluntly asked him in a casual way do you drink blood; he replied yes he has engaged in it. At that moment I knew my search was over we were both tested & began feeding
1 year later & we have been together ever since.

Slave1
I was always into New Wave music--Depeche Mode, The Cure, INXS, Pet SHop Boys--and I always loved black. I was a very morbid child and always interested in "odd" things. I never choose to be Goth, I just got labeled that way.

SUZANNE
Morticia Addams in the B&W series, elegant beauty with power.

TankBoy
Woke up in hospital after a "domestic incident" and the first thing I saw was this very cool video by Siouxsie and the Banshees on Much Music--Nocturne.

Taoist
I reached Goth from the fetish scene where a lot of the imagery crosses over. My first experience of the dark aesthetic was probably at the Torture Garden in 1994, but my first visit to a "true" Goth club was Exile in 1998. I was taken there by my girlfriend who I met in the fetish scene but was a Goth too. I instantly took to the music and the people and the rest is history. The fetish scene had provided me with a lot of the lifestyle components I needed but the Goth scene filled in the gaps
by providing me with an intense musical interest and a much better social aspect.
It also gave me a way of expressing my feelings on an everyday basis by providing
a theme for my regular clothing and home decor.

The Crow
The Cure by the age of 14.

the evil one
The clothes and guys. ;)

Thyssen
It was a birthday party of my older brother where lots of strange looking people celebrated peacefully to the tunes of
The Cure, Joy Division and Sisters of Mercy.

Tristan
A friend of mine in high school saved me from a deeply suicidal bent by getting me interested in dark music and art.

VampirMike
When I was 18 I was a punk and then the gothic scene came to Germany and revolutionized punk with
a special sexual and moral philosophy!

Vena Cava
I was goth before the word goth, so I feel weird labeling anything before that "goth". It would of course, though, be movies-especially the old black and white ones on Saturday afternoon TV like Death Takes a Holiday and Cat People, and great TV series like Outer Limits, Dark Shadows, Night Gallery, and The Addams Family. My first love was Frederick March as Death, and then John Astin as Gomez Addams.

Vile
My mother dressed me formally for all my years in elementary school, and I was taught to respect all people even those who were bigoted assholes. My mother, although not being a goth on the outside is definitely one on the inside.
She showed me the way.

WantonBlood
?

White Raven
In high school I gravitated toward the "punks" (I figured that as strange as they looked, they weren't going to judge me for how I looked) and listened to Siouxsie, The Cure, etc., and always wanted to color my hair, shave the sides of my head, etc., but was unable to break out of my shell until I was 18, and had moved to CA. At that time I was the only one in the small conservative town where I lived that wore black lipstick and black eyeliner and I did it because it was different, and weeded out those who were judgmental. Then when I was 19 and lived in San Jose, I went to my first Goth club, and was in heaven. Finally a club that played the music I liked and no one hit on me, but left me alone to dance.
I never went back to mainstream clubs again.

Xefiel
Where I live, you have to look everywhere to find one goth so I was one of the first to make the first move. What motivated me was to look different from others and actually, I don't know, I just believe that the mysterious black coat covering the goths is something very interesting, a curiosity amidst the pastel-colored population. The black angel of Death you may say,
but because this angel is lost, there is no danger for others.

XjUsTcRuCifyX
Hmm... This is a tough question. When I think back on it I feel as if I wasn't truly alive when I became goth, because it is like a dream, one of those where you can't always recall the details. I do not remember how I got interested in the goth way of dressing and the music and the darkness of the mind, but I remember that it was a change that brought me into myself, one that finally showed everyone who I am. It was kind of gradual and I was scared to go on with it because of my strict parents, but now I look back and think it was one of the best "mistakes" I ever made. I don't think I would be whole without being goth, because it has helped me in so many ways (such as creating my writing voice, which got me into the Governor's School of Arts and Humanities in Creative Writing, a very prestigious thing).

Zerstoerte
I started dressing goth at age 13 when I got my first job and had my own money to buy the clothing I liked, but I believe I've been a goth my whole life. When I was a little girl, my father used to take me downtown to all the head shops and record stores, and I remember being absolutely enamored with the gothic look. When I was 4, I met a teenaged girl who was wearing a leopard jacket, black granny boots, with a nose ring, long black hair, tons of eyeliner
and carrying a lunchbox purse-I went up to her and said
'I want to be just like you when I grow up!' I've had the goth mentality ever since :)
My first real experience of the goth scene was being taken to The Vampire Sex Bar when I was 15 by a girl that knew the bouncer (so we could get in.) I fell in love with everything about the scene-the people, the music, the way goths dance-and have been involved ever since. Most of what moved me into that realm was me just trying to find a place where I fit in, since I wasn't into any of the trendy clothes or music the people I knew liked. I wanted to meet others like myself.

.....Back to Top


Question #2: If your life has changed since you became goth, what was it like before and what is it like now?

50 Ft Queenie
?

aLiCe
It really hasn't changed much--I was already different, I just took the natural step towards goth because it meant being accepted and appreciated for who I already was.

Amanda
No, my life has not changed because "goth" is a state-of-mind to me, not an outward appearance necessarily.

angel
Its always been this way, now it just has a name.

Angel in PVC
?

angelus
I can't remember that far back.

Arantèle
Because of some people I met, I feel more confident now and am more myself all the time.

ariana
?

Azazelle
I got more social for awhile, and then went back to being my reclusive self.

Billy MOD
I have not noticed any significant changes to my life since becoming "goth". This was a gradual process and very long ago.

biogoth
I think I'm happier now. I'm not supposed to say that, am I? [Looking nervously over shoulder for Mopey Police].
I like who I am, the people I associate with, the world I choose to inhabit.
Before, I always felt like I was looking for something I couldn't quite define. Now I can.

Blue elf
No, it hasn't really changed.

C.B.
It has taught me that it is okay to be different.

Calhoun
I was a geek. I hated myself. I had severe emotional problems, and was unable to really be confident about anything I did.
I wasn't sure that if I tried something, or felt strongly about it, that I would be liked or even be physically attacked.
Now while I still have some emotional issues, I am very confident about who I am, and what I like in life.
I am unwilling to compromise when it comes to who I am.
A lot of people respect me for this as well.
Sometimes I get self conscious but I only need to remind myself who I'm doing this for. Me.

Calista Waterwoods
?

Candy Derakh
Before I was totally depressed, irritated and had no patience for anything or anyone--including myself.
I locked myself away in my bedroom all day and all night and spent hours in tears wishing people would understand me.
Now I'm fine. I tend to gripe a lot, but I'm getting over it.
I love life and it's just so wonderful waking up every morning knowing who I am and that I don't have to be like that anymore.

Cemetery Crow
My life hasn't changed considerably and I still work at the same place.
What really changed is my style of clothes and my drinking.
Going out again after years of cheap travels has really put a dent in my budget and I am now in debt.
At the same time, I do more things artistically so I am more satisfied with my life.
Mostly, I don't feel so guilty about not achieving what society tells me I should. I found a niche that satisfies me.

Chad
?

creepy
I've been a lot happier, more accepted, and less depressed.
I feel at home here and a lot of us have been through tough times so we're there for each other like a big freaky family.

Crucifixia
?

cypher
I think I'm less conservative than I was in my youth. But I wouldn't say that's because of the Goth scene.
Rather, my participation in the scene is a sign of my becoming less conservative.

Daevina
I became goth at a point in my life where the adult identity wasn't really estabilished
and I wasn't out in the world as an independant person because I was still a child really
so I don't really have much to compare in regards to how much has changed.

daoine o'
My life hasn't changed. I'm still the same person, I've just evolved.

Davis
Other than constant critisim, my life really hasn't changed.

Deacon Syth
All that's changed is my appearance is more personal.
No more blue jeans and shitty fashion-plate clothing.

deadly
Before i had decided to become what i am today,
i was very insecure and naive about the world and what it was about
but ever since i came into this scene I've realized what this world is really about.

Decaying Ivy
Before I was screaming to be like the others because it was cool, now its cool being myself
and since I became goth I am more content with my life. I found a place to stay.

DJ Caluna
Before [being goth] I was a kid and went to school.

DJ Ladybee
NA

Dusk
I only changed the way I dress myself. I think I've always been goth.

Elusis
My life has changed a lot. I attribute it to education, maturity, relationships, changing geography,
changing professions...not to being goth.

Emily Bronte
The only remarkable change I can think of is really just a feeling of being comfortable in my skin.

GOTHIC39
Yes, it bought out a side of me that was bottled up.

GothicBeauty
I think its pretty much the same besides people looking at me differently
and some of my teachers have been mean to me when I haven't done anything, stuff like that.

Gothikka
It's remained the same.

Gypsy
I'm a lot happier now actually. I dont worry about stupid shit as much. I only care about what truely matters.
Not petty crap aymore.

Hardrock Llewynyth
The only real difference is that I had almost no friends before, and I have lots now.
Lots more stuff to do with people I feel comfortable around.

Individuation
I had little self esteem before the goth scene... and I also didn't have as many friends.

jain doe
I'm more pleased with my appearance and such since I can be myself.

Jennie
?

Jetgirl
I don't feel any change.

Johnny Formaldehyde
I'm a lot happier now. I feel like I've found something that I fit perfectly with, whereas before
I didn't really have a group I fit into so much.

Jola
It hasn't changed much. I listen to more "goth" music.

Kate
Mostly it's just that I feel like myself. I feel like I am around people who enjoy me being myself, and that these people understand the things I enjoy.

Katwoman
Well, my entire adult life has been goth to some extent, so it's hard to say what is the goth part
and what is the growing up part.
I am very happy as an adult goth and I wish I could have done it sooner,
because it makes me feel very comfortable in my own skin.

Krockmitaine
?

Lestat de Lioncourt
?

LiFreak
?

Lisiblac
?

Lord Madd
My life has not changed. I have been this way always--which was long before I was called a goth.

Madame X
I have changed since I became involved with the Gothic subculture. I have felt more comfortable exploring what inspires me,
so I have gained confidence. I have also acquired knowledge
in many areas that I would not have, had I not interacted with the people I do.
Interacting with like-minded folk and sharing each other's experiences has really broadened my horizons and encouraged further exploration in areas I never knew existed.

Malinda
I don't think my life has changed much, except that I was much younger then.
I do more now, have more friends, and feel comfortable with my mind.
Before I think that people saw me as "weird." In this scene, I can have thoughts that are not usual
and I am not ridiculed for it.
Then again, I wouldn't have been going out much at 9 anyway...

Marcelous
Before I was just another kid. Now I have an identity.

Medea
I didn't really become goth. It just sort of seeped into my lifestyle. Remember, I'm a little older than most folks who use that label, and we didn't call ourselves that, really.

Micah
What kind of question is that? Of course it has! I started in my early teens, and have been like this since.
Life changes as we grow older!

Miss Lynx
It hasn't especially, other than that I have more of a social life and get out more than I have
for most of the preceding 7 or 8 years.
And I no longer have to worry about how to come up with a convincing denial when people call me a goth. :-)

Mistress Hades
I can't remember when I wasn't a bit of a ghoul.

moonglum
My life has not changed, as what I am today I was 20 years ago, only 20 years younger.

morbius
I use to stay at home all the time, now I go out and have a social life.

museumbitch
?

Mylucretia
No, it really hasn't changed. Not in the typical sense.

Nadia
It's so long ago I couldn't really say. And it would be very difficult to work out which changes were due to becoming Goth
and which were just the usual course of development. I was 14, remember!

Nevermore
I think I was always a goth, but just didn't know it. now i feel a little better, like I'm doing a better job to express myself.

Nimue
It did not change much, it only changed the fact that I finally know who and what I am, and I didn't know that before.

Paola
I can't say for sure, because becoming (on the outside) Goth coincided with other major changes in my life
(leaving home, starting college, changing my personality) so it would be simplistic to say
which bits of my life changed because of Gothness and which didn't.

pink spider
?

Prosthetic God
Hasn't changed much, it just takes me longer to get ready in the morning.

RaVeN
?

Ravenheart
I have been this way a looooong time. I can't remember.

Reynaldo
?

rinaedin
It hasn't changed that much.

Rois
It hasn't changed much. I wear more black than I did, I have more fun than I used to,
and I have an excuse to dress up more often.

Sage
I have a lot of friends now who like me for myself and not just because I'm in the trends.
I have no pressures, and I have no worries because I know exactly who/what is real, and who/what isn't.

Sally
I was 16 when I started so I can't see anything important that has changed.

Samael
Unpopular, became goth, discovered friends, became social, am now reclusive.

Shekinah
?

Silver Moon
It hasn't changed, but I could find more people with similar interests thanx to the Net.

Sire Cédric
For one thing, I am now at peace with myself, like I have never ever been before.
And before (when I still looked mainstream and tried to hide my passions) people didn't accept my "deviant" attitude,
they didn't undersatnd why I would have a different life than them.
Now, by the way I look and the way I obviously live, they see me as an artist
and accept that I do not live by the same rules as them;
my peculiar attitude doesn't seem to bother mainstream people anymore.

Sky Claudette
I have basically been gothic throughout my life.

Slave1
No, I've been like this forever.

SUZANNE
Become more interesting in that odd-looking people attract more interesting opportunities.
My outlook is flexible, and I have settled into believing in myself.
I was withdrawn and shy, felt ugly and daft. Now I absorb all this and come out glamour!

TankBoy
Bfore, I was this autonomous entity with the psychological equivalent of a "sucking chest wound"
from horrific forms of child abuse.
The Goth community provides a place where I can feel like I'm actually amongst social peers, a comfortable safe place.
Besides, its how I learned how to have FUN. :)

Taoist
Well beforehand it was frustrating and quite meaningless really.
I spent my time being annoyed by the mainstream and its shallowness.
I ended up doing what everyone else did without really knowing why I bothered.
Now I'm on the goth scene I have effectively washed my hands of the mainstream and kissed it goodbye.
Now within the goth circle I can truely express myself anyway I want with the full approval of my peers.

The Crow
Tooooooooo far away.

the evil one
Differnt sorta.. Its hard to explain.

Thyssen
?

Tristan
?

VampirMike
I´m in the German gothic scene 17 years!

Vena Cava
It is BETTER because I feel authentic now.
People needed a label for me besides "weird" and now I have one.
Changing my name set me free. My whole life when I heard my name, it caught me by surprise, like "who?"
I always felt like an imposter reluctantly answering to it. Chosing a name that I felt expressed my goth-ness let me enjoy
answering to my own name.I also love looking scary--the people
I like want to know; they come up and ask why the hell I'm dressed like that,
and the ones I wouldn't like anyway creep away.

Vile
Life hasn't changed much. I didn't expect it to.

WantonBlood
Since I've been what people think of as Gothic, I've learned more about myself because
I feel less obliged to repress what might be considered the darker sides of myself.
I've been able to embrace or to understand more about myself than I would have if I'd felt the need
to continue to repress my fetishes, likes and dislikes.
I am more comfortable with bouts of depression or anxiety, or fear
because I can see this now as part of life, not the opposite of life.
When I was younger, I was afraid of sadness, of depression, of anything considered abnormal or "SPOOKY."
Yet most people love horror movies, and dramas that make you cry. Part of being Gothic, to me, is saying, "To Hell with the "NORM" ... it's okay to be sad sometimes, to get depressed sometimes.
It's okay to be weird and like boys in lipstick or bats or to dream about vampires, even when they're scary.
It's okay to think about death on purpose and not be afraid of it, or to be scared to death of it and still want to talk about it.

White Raven
The biggest change is that I spend more money on going out clothes,
and I've learned that it's ok to be affectionate to friends of the same gender,
that there can be a separation between affection and sex (if you want there to be)--and of course,
I wasn't bisexual before I was Goth.

Xefiel
Yes, before, nobody dared talk to me because I was a nobody, I was invisible.
Now, everyone has to look at me because I am revealing my true-self.
Now, people talk more to me and I'm very happy about it.

XjUsTcRuCifyX
Yes, my life has changed. I used to be really insecure and I didn't know who I was.
Now I am really into getting to know myself and the things I love and am interested in, and I take things as they come.

Zerstoerte
I've always been a goth so I couldn't tell you!

.....Back to Top


Question #3: Have you ever cut yourself, and if so, how often? If you have any insights into why, please share them.

50 Ft Queenie
?

aLiCe
No.

Amanda
Absolutely not.

angel
I used to all the time about 5 years ago.
It was mostly during that time when I was sick. but part of it was because I felt ugly
and somehow the cutting made me feel I was in control of the pain I was in.

Angel in PVC
I have, maybe twice. The physical pain distracts from the mental pain and makes it easier to bear.

angelus
Yes I do cut because it provides temporary relief from my emotional pain.

Arantèle
?

ariana
Yes. as a teenager. not sure why but it seemed to help at the time.

Azazelle
No.

Billy MOD
I have never cut myself in any way on purpose.

biogoth
No.

Blue elf
No.

C.B.
Once a very very long time ago when I was young & stupid and it involved a man. He did his first.
It was cool, but a bit too scary for me once it was over.
Still have the scar and it is a constant reminder to not get too obsessed or involved in something or someone
where you lose yourself.

Calhoun
Yes. The point of it was so that I would be able to distract myself and remind myself that I am alive.
There is also the fact that when you cut yourself and start bleeding,
your mind tends to kick into survival mode and all you can do is think about how to stop the bleeding.
If I do any cutting NOW, its for tribal or spiritual purposes, and those are few and far between.

Calista Waterwoods
No.

Candy Derakh
Yes, I have. It was because I felt caged in and couldn't hurt anything or take anything out on anyone or anything
other than myself.
So I used to stand in the shower and cut my chest and arms open with razor blades.
In a sick sense, I felt better because the pain allowed me to release my anger. But I've grown up.
I realize I don't have to do that and that there are other less destructive methods to take out emotional torment--
like writing and working.
I've transformed the anger and pain I felt into motivation to get things done. So far, so good! :)

Cemetery Crow
I have a skin problem and do not need to cut myself in order to feel pain.
I have, however, burnt myself with cigarettes for one week a few years ago. I made one burn for every day
that my girlfriend was away.
I made six in a beautiful cross pattern which I took a picture, obviously.
Apart from figuring out that it doesn't hurt that much, I haven't learned anything from it.

Chad
?

creepy
?

Crucifixia
Yes. A long time ago when I was a teenager. I was depressed, and I think I needed a release
to all the pain I was feeling at the time.
In a way I believe harming myself was releasing that pain.

cypher
I've cut myself plenty of times. Have I ever done it *on purpose*? No.

Daevina
I used to cut myself on a daily basis..
I was in so much emotional pain at that time that the only way to placate it was to feel pain in the physical sense.

daoine o'
No. Harming the self is silly. Harming *others*, now that's different.

Davis
No.

Deacon Syth
Tried but I think I was doing it for the pain sensation. I found out at an early age I quite like the feeling of pain.

deadly
Yes, i did it when i was upset. It wasn't more than once or twice a month. Why?
Out of blind rage and to make sure that I still feel emotions and pain. Sometimes i wonder about that one.

Decaying Ivy
Yes, i wanted to try it. because people should try things they do not know.
So i did. It was okay.
I don't cut myself to release pain. I take a smoke or meditate. Either way it looked lovely afterwards.

DJ Caluna
No. I used to have auto aggressive tendencies as a child and sometimes have them when I'm in trouble but very rarely.
I guess it's a form of self-punishment caused by bad conscience and a tendence to feel guilty for too many stupid reasons.

DJ Ladybee
I've never cut myself on purpose.

Dusk
This question is too personnal.

Elusis
If you want insights into cutters, read "A Bright Red Scream." Don't interview goths.

Emily Bronte
No.

GOTHIC39
?

GothicBeauty
Yeah. When I started high school, people were really mean to me and I didn't talk for the longest time.
People would call me names and I would get depressed and I would hurt myself.
I was depressed all the time, I almost went into home schooling because of it.

Gothikka
No.

Gypsy
I use to self mutilate when I was frustrated. I used a razor knife on my inner right arm. I haven't for over a year now.

Hardrock Llewynyth
Yes. It was an externalization of internal pain.
A way to transform it into a form I could gain some measure of control over. Catharsis.
It varied from several times a week to maybe once every few months.
Also, in other contexts, it's a kink of mine, something that under the right circumstances I find very erotic.
I also like scarification, but I'm not any good at it, so I'll probably have it professionally done one day.

Individuation
Once, I was a sophomore in college (so 19) and was incredibly depressed.
Had just broken up with the person I would deem as my frist real love.
It was more of an accident than anything though. A shard of a porceline jar had broken off in my hand
(from a lip balm container) and I was crying and kind of spacing out.
and rubbing my arm with the sharp edge. And I looked down and saw I'd cut myself pretty badly.
I FREAKED out and called a friend.
I didn't want to become that kind of person. I had a lot of friends who used to self cut. My friend talked me down and told me stories of shit he'd done and cleaned my wound and I never did it again.
The next year, a girlfriend of mine was self-cutting and I was working as a rape crisis counselor. We had magazines written by and to help support and stop women who self cut,
so I photocopied all of them and gave them to her. She eventually stopped too.
I think that self cutting is a way to inflict pain on yourself that you have some control over.
The world is a painful place, and when you're young sometimes it's too much to deal with on your own.
By cutting you're feeling something that you controlled, and you chose. It's almost like the psyche of an anorexic.
"This is something I can control" "This is pain that I have CHOSEN"

jain doe
I have cut myself a few times but i usually do burning with an eraser for my self mutilation.

Jennie
I used to do it all the time, in small, secret ways, from when I was about four until I was about fifteen;
around that time I started banging my head off walls instead (which apparently, the way I was doing it, releases a flood of serotonin, so it's probable that I was actually addicted);
I kicked that habit firmly when I was twenty four.
I discovered early on that physical pain could help me to clear my thoughts and let go of emotional stress. It was that simple.

Jetgirl
Once I did. No insights, guess I just felt like it at the time. The next day, I was sorry I did it.

Johnny Formaldehyde
I did once, before I was Goth. I was really stressed out, and while it helped to vent, I didn't like having scratches on myself, so I decided I'd stick to my art as a way of venting.

Jola
When I was a teenager. I found it relaxing. Somehow it was nice to be able to fixate on physical pain and forget the mental pain. I never wanted to kill myself, but sometimes I did want to forget the world for a while.

Kate
When I was a teenager I did infrequently. I believe I was chemically imbalanced and very unhappy.
That's my only explanation.

Katwoman
No, that's something I've never been attracted to.

Krockmitaine
No, and sometime I wonder why. Maybe I compensated by reading, I don't know.

Lestat de Lioncourt
I cut myself? Carved myself is more like it. Carved the name of my beloved on my forearm with a scalpel.
When we broke up I stole my sister's scar removal cream and used it all up.

LiFreak
?

Lisiblac
?

Lord Madd
When I was studying "Black Magick" I used to as a way to induce certain states of consciousness.
I have long since given up such practices.

Madame X
No, I never have.

Malinda
I have, but not often. Only once or twice ever, always during suicidal episodes.
I think that we turn to physical pain to overshadow emotional pain.
I can't even consider that mentality now, it just seems foreign to me.

Marcelous
I havn't yet. Yet.

Medea
I used to scratch myself, but I never was a cutter. With my experience I know a thing or two about people who self-mutillate,
and it's a pretty complex behavior that takes a little more room to explain than I'd like to put here.
Simply put, most folks who cut do so to have a physical manifestation of an emotional pain. Physical pain is easier to deal with, since you can see it.

Micah
Not on purpose.

Miss Lynx
The answer to this is pretty much the same as for the previous question, because that was how
I did it both times--X-acto knife to the wrist.
As I said, both times were sort of half-hearted as suicide attempts go because I didn't
cut deep enough to really be in any danger of bleeding to death.
I think I had conflicted feelings about it.
Part of it may have also been just to make the physical pain distract me from the emotional pain that I was in,
and to try to make other people take my depression seriously--I guess sort of the proverbial "cry for help".

Mistress Hades
Yes , constantly. I think I did it after a lot of emotional abuse from past relationships,
and I needed to see something heal on the outside.

moonglum
Yes. Because it seemed like a good idea at the time. To prove that I felt something.
Or as an offering to the people I loved the most.

morbius
No.

museumbitch
I used to pull entire handfuls of hair out of my head when I was in high school and college.
This was almost certainly a reaction to years of violence in my family, especially sexual abuse from my stepfather.

Mylucretia
Yup. This was the second suicide attempt. Bleeding to death. Lovely eh!?

Nadia
Regularly, when I was 13-15. It made me feel slightly more alive and prevented me from externalising my anger.

Nevermore
A couple of times. Not as a joy-of-cutting thing, but as part of a melodramatically overblown
cry-for-help type 'suicide attempt'.

Nimue
When I am very mad at someone, I somehow blame it on myself, and want to punish myself for my mistakes,
even if it wasn't my own fault.
Then I cut myself to see it bleed.

Paola
Surely not.

pink spider
Just once, and on a hidden part of my body. My classmate was doing it, I wanted to know what it felt like.

Prosthetic God
I once carved a pentagram into my arm during an exam in highschool, but it hurt like hell,
and never did anything like that again.

RaVeN
Yeah I started when I was 10 just to relieve stress. I guess it just made me feel better.

Ravenheart
Yes, but only using my X-acto knife for my work, and because I'm a klutz.

Reynaldo
No.

rinaedin
I used to do it everyday, but I haven't in about 6 months. I had trouble talking.

Rois
Never deliberately. When I bottle up negative emotions, I don't feel the need to take them out of my own skin,
but that of others.
(I'd never hurt a person or animal (bugs don't count),
but I feel a definite urge to hurt someone when I'm hurting.)

Sage
I have cut myself because of pressures that no longer exist.

Sally
Yes, to get attention.

Samael
Yes, three times, symbolic of anguish over losing girlfriends.

Shekinah
I knew it was stupid at the time, and I am still ashamed of it because I'm normally a person of control.
I had quite a lot of rage and pain at the time that I couldn't quite deal with, and so I did it, however, I was not one of these people who showed it around or did it for attention.
I hid it. I only told one person, because I knew if I did, it would help me to stop. And I did.

Silver Moon
Neeeeever!!

Sire Cédric
I cut myself often, for two reasons I think: I have a need to hurt myself (expiation maybe), and also to taste my blood.

Sky Claudette
?

Slave1
No.

SUZANNE
No.

TankBoy
Only by accident. Dont know why anyone would.

Taoist
No I haven't.

The Crow
No.

the evil one
I have carved 2 ex boyfriends initials into my arm and wrist to prove my love and that was pointless. i really regret it.

Thyssen
No, i didn't.

Tristan
I cut myself alot as a teen. I also played sports to the point of pain; for me it was an attmept to feel things.
I had shut down all of my emotions, mostly because I felt I had no control. the pain was something I had control over.
It warmed the numb bits.

VampirMike
?

Vena Cava
Not on purpose, but my best friend who reads tarot thinks it is significant that I am constantly being
scratched or bitten yanking dogs out of dogfights
or being dragged through thornbushes or being in car wrecks or tripping over concrete parking barriers and getting skint up.
I think I'm clumsy. She blames it on sword cards.

Vile
I have cut myself, and I did so out of romantic frustration with my significant other of the time,
because he kept inisiting the way I was made me ugly, so I did that to spite him.

WantonBlood
?

White Raven
No, not intentionally (though I've been cut).

Xefiel
No, I'm not a sadomasochism person.

XjUsTcRuCifyX
Yes, in fact, it used to be a big thing of mine. I am now in therapy for it! LOL
I did it to release pain and anger. I always hold in my emotional pain, and it gets to be too much for me,
whereas physical pain begins to feel good, and I can handle it.
It helped clear my mind, and I did it any time I got especially depressed or angry.

Zerstoerte

I used to, when i was 13-15. I didn't do it for mutilation purposes, I did it because it felt good.
When you cut (or get a tattoo, piercing, branding, etc.), the pain sends a rush of endorphins
to your head giving you a very high, euphoric feeling. I don't do it anymore because I do see it as rather juvenile,
plus I'd like to preserve my skin for future tattoos.

.....Back to Top


Question #4: Have you ever attempted suicide, or considered it?

50 Ft Queenie
?

aLiCe
Considered it often, attempted (half-heartedly) once.

Amanda
Unfortunately, life can lead many of the innocent to take drastic measures.
I have not, and to hear of such a thing saddens all involved.

angel
Once I took an overdose of pills. I had been sick from silicone poisoning and could not make the insurance company understand that the implants
I got back in 1984 were making me very sick.
and just felt like I had reached the end of my rope.

Angel in PVC
No.

angelus
Multiple times.

Arantèle
I was thinking at one point about just lying on the couch forever, not getting food or a job or anything.
Then I remembered a good friend who would not have been proud of me at all
and I need that person and her husband to love me.
I got off the couch.

ariana
Considered it, sure.

Azazelle
No.

Billy MOD
I have never attempted suicide nor considered it.

biogoth
Considered, yes, in the way I suppose everyone sometimes does. Attempted, no.

Blue elf
Yes.

C.B.
Considered, yes. But it takes more guts to ride the storms and survive.

Calhoun
Yes, but it was for the wrong reasons so I stopped myself. I still consider it but it has to be for the right reasons.

Calista Waterwoods
?

Candy Derakh
Yes. I've considered it a lot. But it's just not an option. I have way too much to live for, and I know that.

Cemetery Crow
I stuck a knife to my chest when I was 4, so suicide has always been an option.
I don't believe that most people have never, ever considered it.
Thinking about suicide means that you value others, and their influence on your life, and life itself.

Chad
Yes.

creepy
I am ashamed to say it but yes. A few times, in fact.

Crucifixia
Yes.

cypher
No.

Daevina
I've attempted it 3 times.

daoine o'
No. Homicide, yes.

Davis Deacon Syth
Considered it. But I enjoy do much of life to go through with it.

deadly
Yes and yes.

Decaying Ivy
I have considered it. who hasn't?
People say it is such a waste of life being alive and then to die meaninglessly
but what a waste of life if you kill yourself after all you have done or can do even though it is meaningless in the end.
Live it through see what comes to you. When you think about it. theres nothing else to do, so just live.
Make living an enjoyable thing. make it fun, make yourself go shopping and buy a black rose corset. Go learn japanese.
Go make money after learning Japanese and be a translator.
Now buy anohter corset and fuck the cute rivethead on the other side of town.
Have fun with your time here while you can.

DJ Caluna
No.

DJ Ladybee
Considered, yes. Attempted, no.

Dusk
Yes.

Elusis
I don't think that's relevant, unless you have statistics which compare the suicide attempt rate of goths vs. non-goths.
I think it's an attempt to be sensational.

Emily Bronte
No, never.

GOTHIC39
?

GothicBeauty
Yeah.

Gothikka
Yes, but that was in 1988.

Gypsy
Not realy tried with the FULL intent of doing so.

Hardrock Llewynyth
Yes, once.

Individuation
Considered it from about 12 years old until I was about 19 years old.

jain doe
[Considerd it] All the time

Jennie
Yes. When I was young I slept with a knife beside me for months, trying to pluck up the courage to use it,
because I couldn't see anything good in my life.
The only good thing had recently left for Iraq, and then Baghdad had been bombed,
and we lost touch, and to this day I don't know whether he's alive or dead.
I also tried to kill myself when I was twenty one, quite spontaneously, hurling myself down a flight of steps
and smashing my head repeatedly against the concrete until I was restrained.
That was after an exhausting first few years coping with Donald's illness,
when I had just been abandoned by my other long term boyfriend, who had begun a relationship
with a woman who had falsely accused me of rape.
I don't treat these things lightly.

Jetgirl
Yes to both. Attempted and considered.

Johnny Formaldehyde
I've never attempted, or seriously considered it.

Jola
Nope, I'm one of the few that never has. Suicide is weakness.

Kate
I have often considered it, but have too much of a conscience to ever complete the act.

Katwoman
No, I've never felt like ending it all.

Krockmitaine
Yes, because I was always sick like a dog, always ending up at the hospital.
I knew my medication by heart (sometimes it saves me a lot of trouble and speeded up the process of recovery).
The staff knew my name. Anyway, yes, I was sick of living

Lestat de Lioncourt
Never. Although i love the allure of death, I love life more. I am too much in love with life...I would give anything for immortality.

LiFreak
?

Lisiblac
?

Lord Madd
I attempted to end my mortal existance once and have considered it often,
but made a promise to my family to not do it again...I never break a promise.

Madame X
No, I never have.

Malinda
I have [considered it], but not often. Only once or twice ever, always during suicidal episodes.
I think that we turn to physical pain to overshadow emotional pain. I can't even consider that mentality now, it just seems foreign to me.

Marcelous
Attempted, never. Considered it, too many times.

Medea
Doesn't everyone consider it at one point or another?
For 10 years I worked as a crisis phone counselor, and trainer/supervisor for other counselors,
so it's something I know a thing or two about.
I used to have a lot of depression, and would consider it often, but never very seriously.

Micah
Yes, at 16. it worked... hahahahahahahahahahahahah nah. Cry for help. Did I get it? Nah.. just smartened up.

Miss Lynx
Considered it plenty of times, attempted it twice, though in a sort of half-hearted manner that makes me think
I probably didn't really want to die so much as to just somehow stop what I was feeling.
Both times were in my early 20s, though I was strongly tempted to do it a third time
in the wake of the breakup of my last relationship.
I've had troubles with serious depression for nearly my entire life.
My parents first sent me to a child psychologist for it when I was around 7
and having a very hard time with them getting divorced.
The second suicide attempt, at age 24, was when I kind of "hit bottom"
and realized I had a serious problem, and decided to get serious about trying to find solutions.
I've been on and off antidepressants, both conventional and herbal, and am currently
taking St. John's Wort which seems to work pretty well for me.
I've seen a variety of therapists, but never been entirely happy with any of them.
I think I've made more progress in learning to cope on my own than I ever did with any of them.

Mistress Hades
Several times, constantly. But then I thought, ah what's the use?

moonglum
Yes. And yes. But suicide is cowardice.

morbius
Once.

museumbitch
Yes, when I was about 15.

Mylucretia
Yes, twice actually.

Nadia
Yes, to both.

Nevermore
Yes.

Nimue
Yes.

Paola
Surely not. I love life.

pink spider
Never attempted. Thought about it, but not enough to actually seriously consider it.

Prosthetic God
Nope.

RaVeN
Yeah.

Ravenheart
Of course I've considered it. Who hasn't in a traumatic moment? But I could never do that to those I love.
I think suicide is the most completely selfish thing you can ever do. It takes a lot more courage to live.

Reynaldo
Never.

rinaedin
Yes.

Rois
Considered it. Lots in my early teens (but who hasn't?), and last year I was going though a very bad time,
but never really in the literal sense. More of a 'hitting the restart button' way.

Sage
Yeah, I have contemplated suicide...because of pressures that no longer exist.

Sally
Yes.

Samael
Considered it long ago.

Shekinah
No.

Silver Moon
Never.

Sire Cédric
I thought about it on a few occasions, when living a life I didn't like seemed too hard for me,
but I never tried for I don't want to go now, life is beautiful and I want to drink it to the last drop.
If I couldn't live the way I need though, in harmony with what I am, then I would end my life with no hesitation.

Sky Claudette
?

Slave1
No.

SUZANNE
No.

TankBoy
No, that would involve letting "them" win.

Taoist
No way. Life is far too interesting, there's way too much potential to waste it.

The Crow
No.

the evil one
Yes, it was stupid and I wasn't thinking...head was messed up.

Thyssen
Yes, i did.

Tristan
Yes to both.

VampirMike
?

Vena Cava
When I lived at home (HELL), I thought about it constantly and since the men in my family are big deer hunters,
there were guns on every wall and bullets in every drawer.
But two thoughts always stopped me--what if I just screwed up and had to be in a diaper and wheelchair the rest of my life,
and who would take care of my dog if not me?

Vile
Everyone has considered suicide at one time or another, and I am no exception. I have attempted as well.

WantonBlood
No, I have never tried to commit suicide. I don't think I would ever do that.
I think that whatever happened to me while continuing to live would be more interesting than death,
since death will eventually come anyway and I'll find out later if I was right.
I have felt, at one point in my life, that I wouldn't mind dying,
because I was in a very painful situation and I wanted the situation to end.
I felt that the event of my death would solve a lot of other people's problems while bringing an end to my own despair.
However, I have always felt that I am responsible for my own decisions, and if I wanted change,
then I was responsible for bringing those changes about.
I think suicide is a pretty unimaginative solution to any given problem.
In suicide, one victimizes themselves and gives in to helplessness.
I can't do that. I want to enjoy life and earn my own self respect.

White Raven
Considered it, but back in high school, and never since. I enjoy life too much.

Xefiel
Actually, I have attempted suicide three times, at the ages of 12, 15 and 17.

XjUsTcRuCifyX
Yes.

Zerstoerte
Considered it, yes, but only because the thought used to comfort me, and the thought was always fleeting.
I would never do something as horrid as taking my own life, especially now that I'm a parent.
The only time I would even remotely consider doing it for real would be
if I was suffering terribly from an incurable terminal illness
that I would eventually die from anyway.
Someone once said to me 'If you kill yourself today, something wonderful may have happened to you tomorrow.'
That always stuck in my head, and kept me from doing anything stupid.

.....Back to Top


Question #5: How has being goth helped you to learn about yourself/about the world, and what have you learned?

50 Ft Queenie
?/?

aLiCe
I've learned that I can be who I am without violating or losing anything. I have friends and places to go, and plenty to do./
It's a cold and unforgiving place sometimes,
but seeing it from the receiving end of the paddle shows you a lot about human nature that you may wish wasn't there.
We human beings can be horendously cruel sometimes.

Amanda
I think having a liking for the "goth" appeal has added to who I already am.
Goth did not define me. Life and the choices I have made is what defines me./
Goth has not helped me learn about the world except in the aspects of respecting one's individuality.

angel
To be more tolerant with others. I come from a very racist family
and its taught me to be less judgemental, and how not to buy into what the mainstream says you should like
when it comes to music, etc./
It's full of stupid people .

Angel in PVC
I have learned that I shouldn't have to pretend that I'm ok if I'm not,
and I don't need to do things just to please other people./
I have seen how narrow-minded some people are, and how much prejudice there really is against the way you look.

angelus
I learned about life, and that life is like a vacuum cleaner, even when it works it sucks./
Life isn't fair.

Arantèle
That I'm worth more than I thought before; so more self-confidence./
Accepting and being aware of all faces of life helps to bring and keep a kind of balance and sanity.

ariana
?/?

Azazelle
Nothing that I didn't already know./
Ditto.

Billy MOD
Goth has taught me to accept myself. The music soothes and liberates me. The goth-industrial club scene is the only scene
I feel comfortable hanging out in./
I do not know if being goth has helped in this respect.

biogoth
I've learned that I'm not afraid of the dark, literally or metaphorically./
Non-goth people's reactions can be quite interesting and informative.
One sad lesson is how much mutual intolerance exists between subcultures.
For instance, I'm also a science fiction person (going to cons and the like)
and the mutual contempt and dislike between the two subcultures is annoying.
But I've also learned that there are a lot of good people out there, and a lot of them wear black.

Blue elf
?/?

C.B.
?/?

Calhoun
Its basically taught me how to hold a very honest mirror up to myself and accept that no matter how hard I try to change it,
all the bumps, scars, and bruises that make up me will not go away,
so I need to accept it and be happy./
That there is more to the world than life.
There is a very crucial element that is overlooked and that is natural death.
That depression, and disease are forms of mental and physical death and change.
By ignoring these and not directly addressing the concerns, symptoms that they carry, we only make ourselves weaker.
Too much life is a cancer, too much death is genocide. Finding a balance is crucial.

Calista Waterwoods
?/?

Candy Derakh
I've learned to accept myself for who I am and to appreciate little things in life.
Like when someone smiles at you or is friendly when checking you out in the grocery store.
I've also learned patience, tolerance and self respect.
I've learned to use my head and to keep my chin up no matter who slams me down because of how I look./
I've learned that people are generally very ignorant when it comes to goth culture.
I've also learned about different cultures around the world as well as right here in the good 'ol USA.

Cemetery Crow
I learned that I like morbid things, that I can be sarcastic without being destructive,
and that it's not because you want your life to go a certain way that you can't do so
because the opinion of others makes any kind of differences./
I learned about the world before I turned to Goth.
What the goth world did was permit me to adjust to the real world by providing an excuse
for my own dissatifaction with the mainstream.
It's like a shell, it's like hiding in the dark because the darkness is security from the aberrant stupidity of this world.

Chad
?/?

creepy
I learned that to be accepted, all you need to do is be you./I see now how ignorant people are that some don't wish to be enlightened.

Crucifixia
It's made me more aware of my physical wants and needs, and has also helped me creatively./?

cypher
Has it been an overwhelmingly revelatory experience? No.
Its just been another venue in which to express myself, to hone my interpersonal skills,
and to derive pleasure from aesthetic experiences (music, fashion, art)./
Again, I think this time-narrative needs to be inverted.
One doesn't first become Goth and then learn lessons.
One also learns lessons about oneself and the world that lead one to choose a Goth lifestyle.
One learns that "mainstream" culture has certain expectations of conformity, certain intolerant outlooks,
certain regimented structures of evaluation.
One then decides that one doesn't agree with these and other aspects of mainstream culture.
Therefore, one decides to adopt a particular resistant or transgressive lifestyle, i.e., one styles oneself as Goth
as a show of discontentment with kitschy angels and family values
that privilege bigotry, misogyny, intolerance, and homophobia.

Daevina
I've learned the meaning of tolerance and at times what it feels like to be a victim of prejudice.
I've also learned that I have a high threshold for what I can stand as far as emotional things,
I've learned how to think deeply and I've learned to like who I am to a degree because I know myself very well
from the solitude I've had to live in for almost 8 years./
I've had a lot of time to read about different places and I've learned that I would like to move to Europe someday
because I think the culture there is richer than America's.

daoine o'
I still don't know about myself./That people suck.

Davis
It helped me find "my place" in life.
It's helped me become more open minded, more accepting to others and more forgiving./
I've learned that the world is a very diverse and beautiful place
not just some town of white kids who all dress and look the same.

Deacon Syth
I have learned to be honest to yourself first. By doing that, by freeing the shackles
we create when we constructed a commercialized sugar-coated version of ourselves to make us
more tolerable for everyone else to swallow.
Society on a whole can't accept or understand people who are open to everything.
They need cliques. They need genres. And sub-genres.
They can't fathom when someone dresses like Bela Lugosi, spouts Oscar Wilde poetry,
listens to Leonard Cohen, enjoys watching 80's films like 'St. Elmo's Fire'
and spends his Monday nights watching wrestling.
They can't stand it when molds or stereotypes are broken. They just aren't programmed for that.
/That the world is full of too much beauty and that there are so many more talented people or parallel in talent to yourself that you can learn from.
That there is more to life than trying to fit in a structured character design. That in itself is a huge job
and if you're constantly trying to fit this design of who society wants you to be,
you are robbing yourself of the chance to find out who YOU are
and you impede the chance to learn from the proper mentors in eventually improving yourself.

deadly
I have learned that it's okay to be different and to be yourself without worrying about being persecuted./
I've learned that this world is a very dangerous place to live if you don't watch yourself, people are very deceptive and bitter.
But at another stand point everyone just wants to be happy.
That i can relate to, but I know wil never happen.

Decaying Ivy
I have learned to deal with the darkness of life in a postivive way,
I have learned to be happy with the way things are and with myself./
I learned how there is a good and bad side to everything, nothing is perfect
and that in fact is what makes the world so perfect.
I have leanred though everything to simply except the way things are.
I still continue to learn this everyday.

DJ Caluna
Love is the essense of life but in the end all you find is solitude./
The world is an exciting adventourus place to live in and I am thankful to be part of it.

DJ Ladybee
I appreciate life more than I might if I weren't surrounded by dark death images in a lot of my music/art/literature./
It hasn't, really. Learning about the world came mostly from other places than the subculture
with which I choose to associate.

Dusk
It has help me to be different and accepted with those differences./
More and more convinced that humans can be wonderful and crap at the same time.

Elusis
?/?

Emily Bronte
Being in the Goth subculture has helped me be a stronger person,
one who is not afraid to be herself and to live a life of poetry and art./
?

GOTHIC39
?/?

GothicBeauty
I liked things I never knew I liked./
I see how people are discriminated against a lot and I know how it feels.

Gothikka
Nothing really. I knew I was my own person WAAAYYY back./
That the world is primarily an ugly place, where people will diss things they don't understand.

Gypsy
I feel better about myself. I can know myself better now./
The main thing its taught me is not to bother with things in life that truely DO NOT MATTER.

Hardrock Llewynyth
Nothing I didn't already know. I've always been introspective./
It's helped to reinforce my opinion of most of mankind as petty, ignorant, bigotted, banal, insular creatures
who fear what they don't understand, hate what they fear, and often react violently to what they hate.

Individuation
I learned to have confidence in who I am. I learned to think that I'm beautiful
(even if I don't have a little button nose and wear a size 0 )..
I've learned that I like people who are genuine... and passionate.
I've learned that I can't date people who are less intelligent than myself.
The confidence factor is the greatest gift that I gained from the scene though.
I just feel like I wouldn't be the person I am today if I hadn't gotten involved in the goth scene.
I learned that I didn't have to dumb myself down to be friends with people.
I learned that it was okay to not like someone and not be liked by someone.
I don't know, the goth scene has a huge space in my heart.. I love the beauty of it, the passion of it, the intelligence of it,
I love the people, the creativity. Everything./
I might not have traveled as much if I weren't goth. I wouldn't have had as many couches to crash on :)
I also learned that assholes exist in every scene and no one is enlightened simply because they subscribe to a specific scene.

jain doe
Basically learned to be me and try to accept myself./
Learned a lot of people are stereotypical and that people fear what they do not understand.

Jennie
?/?

Jetgirl
I've learned that I like the look and mentality (for the most part) of being an original goth./
I've learned that most of the world pre-judges and that you constantly have to try harder to prove yourself a worthy individual. Sadly.

Johnny Formaldehyde
It's helped me come to terms with a lot of issues in my life;
my sexuality, what I want to do as a career, and what kind of people I enjoy being around
are all things I was able to figure out after becoming Goth. I suppose that once I was finally being what I felt like inside,
it cleared the way for me to sort through those things and come to some conclusions./
It's helped me to be more accepting of people's differences,
and to learn that life isn't fair but you have to deal with it anyway.
I've been able to come to terms with the idea of death, and started to figure out some of love.

Jola
I don't suffer fools gladly./
The world is full of fools (some of whom think they are vampires).

Kate
It taught me not to repress who I really am simply to fit in.
It showed me that people will still like me even if they do consider me "eccentric."/
It taught me that there are other people who enjoy what I enjoy.

Katwoman
?/
It's helped me become less of a me-against-the-world person.
Although now I look much different from everyone else, I am relaxed with myself
and can take the time to try to deal with and understand others, and see things from their point of view.
The world is much less scary with goth--first, because I found a social group in college
who liked the same things I did and validated my "weird" desires.
Now because I realize I have a very artistic eye and can create very beautiful goth decorations, artworks, outfits,
that impress but don't scare people.

Krockmitaine
I'm much more prudent before I make a judgement on people. I'm judged by the way I look, even if I'm normal./
That people may be sympatic in a way but they will do stupid thingsover and over again.
That there will be no remedy for war nor favoring intelligence

Lestat de Lioncourt
It has helped me witht of things. It has opened my mind to new paths toward spiritual enlightenment./
Acceptance of what is. That most of the things that are, are what they are, and that changing them is futile.
What we need to do is to live around them, and never try to live through them.

LiFreak
?/?

Lisiblac
?/?

Lord Madd
It gives me a destination to shoot for in this journey we call life./
The world is a dark place and is only getting darker.

Madame X
I have discovered that I am not as unique as I thought I was. In fact, there are others like me all over the world,
just so that I don't have to be afraid to walk into a dance club alone.
I discovered that I could be appreciated for the intelligent, multifaceted woman that I am,
without being afraid to intimidate or disgust everyone I meet./
That there is a niche for everyone out there, regardless of how unusual you may think your interests are.
People are people no matter where you go.
here are losers in all scenes and gems are indeed precious.
The bottom line is that we are all humans and have the same needs, responsibilities and will end up experiencing the
variations of the same drama. And as I look around, I see in their faces, mirrors of myself--when I was young,
when I was lost, when I was a happier me,
when I will be a wiser or an older or a more popular me. We are all just reflections of each other in a world of splintered glass.
In this vein, I'd like to share the last stanza from my signature poem entitled "Mirror".
"So here I stand before my mirror
Strange images that now seem clear:
Bits and traces of their faces,
Foreign places I left behind,
Lessons learnt and bridges crossed
Carving their mark within me forever.
I remember I was there
I was them and they are me."

Malinda
Being goth lets me examine my life and laugh at myself.
Goths have a great sense of humor about how the world sees us, for the most part,
as well as about how the world works as a whole.
I am okay with realizing that all people are capable of doing bad things,
and knowing this helps me to evaluate my actions and I think keep from doing them myself.
For example, being goth has kept me open to understanding depression,
since a lot of people in the scene admit they suffer from it,
and therefore I have been able to recognize my symptoms and keep them under control without medication.
I have also learned that I'm not alone in my thoughts,
and that there is nothing "wrong* with me as a person who wonders about the less pleasant parts of life.
I've learned that a lot of people don't want to see the world for what it is.
People love ignorance, bliss, and bubbles.
I'm okay with concepts like death, what atrocities humans are capable of,
and the fact that we know so little and guess so much.
In fact I feel it is important to understand these things so that we can curtail our behavior
or decide what really is acceptable to us.
Other people tend to fear these concepts and so ignore them.
Goths tend to discuss these things and try to educate ourselves about them.
I have learned that many of my thoughts have been discussed a lot by goths and are accepted as for debate and research./
As for the world, I have learned that we are just a part of it--not its rulers or its servants.
Being goth let me recognize that we need the bad for the good
and we have much less control than the "outside" would like to think.

Marcelous
Its showed me its ok to be different, and it doesn't matter what people think about you.
As long as you're having fun, ithat's all that matters./
Its showed me there are some really good people out there in the world. Some.
Most are just people so wraped up in wanting to be accepted its sick.

Medea
Being goth has helped me be more self-assured. I'm not afraid to express myself. I'm more confident about who I am.
When I walk down the street in my heels & skirts I hold my head up and feel great about who I am. I am an individual./
I've met a lot of nice & interesting people who are goth. I've learned it's important not to take yourself too seriously,
to laugh, to "put the fun back in funeral."

Micah
?/?

Miss Lynx
?/?

Mistress Hades
?/?

moonglum
I've learned I am who I am. And who I am has worth./
I've learned nothing new about the world by 'being' 'goth.' The world is what it is.

morbius
?/?

museumbitch
?/?

Mylucretia
I've learned to trust my inner voice. To not be afraid of who & what I am.
It has actually brought me out of my shell./That people are just that, people, whatever their shape, size or appearance.
By judging someone I only harm myself.

Nadia
I find it hard to believe that Goth is a route to self-enlightenment, but maybe that's just me./
To be myself, to respect others, not to backbite. The basic rules of long-term survival in a small scene.
I have also learnt not to mix LSD and snakebite & black

Nevermore
It has helped me learn that I like being an individual, and I'm certain I wouldn't be too happy just blending in./
It's helped me learn that people judge you by how you look. even more superficial than the color of your skin
or what religion or political party you are, people will judge and deride you based on your clothing and haircut.

Nimue
I learned what I like, what I love, what I am./
I have learned that people only like the things they are supposed to like, and only do the things they are supposed to do.
Goths, on the other hand, like what they want to like and do what they want to do,

Paola
I learned that I actually had the courage to choose to be stared at
(which I could never have believed if they told me when I was a teenager)./
The world is wary of black, but sometimes you do get a second chance to show you're not dismal or depressing like they think.

pink spider
?/?

Prosthetic God
I have learnt how to be more openminded about people,
after hearing some of the closed minded comments a lot of people have said about me, and how it feels./
It hasn't. Unless you count the couple of times the absinthe kicked in.

RaVeN
It helped me learn to just be me and it does not matter what other think. If they don't like you for who you are, it's ok.
Someone somewhere does./
People are quick to judge.

Ravenheart
To accept people as they are./
An outlet for expression of dark emotions and beauty.

Reynaldo
?/?

rinaedin
?/?

Rois
It's let me explore my fantasies and ideas within an accepting subculture.
I've discovered that while I am interested in BDSM, I don't like participating in it.
I've found that I have a definite corsetry obsession.
I've found a place that will let me be whoever I am, regardless of who that happens to be this week./
About the world? That too many people don't stop to think, and tend to think that anyone who looks different is scary.

Sage
Being gothic helps me see who I am and who other people are better. It helps because when you're cut from the line,
you can get a better view of people who are still standing in it./
?

Sally
It underlined that I'm different inside. I try to understand why I'm so different and to accept it./
It made me to want to visit other countries where the important scenes were
and it helps me to learned about history.

Samael
It hasn't./By looking at the darker side of things, there is too much pain in the world.

Shekinah
I don't think being goth has directly affected me so much.
I am the some person regardless of what I wear, or what I choose to do.
However way I have grown, it has been due to life experiences that have not been directly affected by being goth.
I've learned self acceptance, and that I can be beautiful.
I've learnt to not let others judge you./
Again as above, but I have learned how the world can be a stunningly beautiful place, full of extremes.
I've also learnt a lot more about things on the sexual side of things.

Silver Moon
It happened before recognizing myself as a goth.
I've learnt not to be afraid of other people's comments (about fashion, music, etc)./
I've learnt about the underground musical scene, about clubs near home, about romantic poetry.

Sire Cédric
I think that, in my case, it worked the other way around:
once I understood what I had inside me, there was no other choice for me but to live the goth way./
I see the world as mess of desperate people fearing and hating themselves.
They try so hard to be what they've been told is cool, but it seems obvious to me this just does not work.
Yet I became what I needed to become. Therefore I believe that everybody can do the same.
Everybody can be a great person, able to do the most marvelous things,
but as long as people won't be themselves, won't be what they need to be, then they will all live sad and hateful lives.

Sky Claudette
Gothic to me means everything it is a way of life for me, for us both./
If only people can learn to be themselves it wouldn't be such a clostraphobic world.

Slave1
Just always be yourself./
Everyone is different, and being open to that.

SUZANNE
No one else can tell me what is appropriate for me to think. Decide what you want and do it,
because after you die, you rot. No going back!/
We are insignificant, and arrogant and blind. There is an amazing world around us that we are cynical about.

TankBoy
Independence has been reinforced, comfort with others,
being more social and realising that the world really is full of beauty,
you just need to find it [its been hiding lately!]/
The monsters are real. I hunt them for a living.

Taoist
I guess that by allowing me to freely express myself it has taught me how to open up,
be the real me. And to be able to talk about the "real me" to my friends,
without having to hold back on details that "normals" would consider freakish.
Goth blokes talk freely about things like nail varnish. In regular company that would cause quite a stir!/
It has confirmed my suspicions about how messed up the mainstream is.
Every time I encounter "normals" or go into a normal environment such as a club,
I see how purile, shallow and soulless it is compared to the Goth scene
and I just shake my head and thank my lucky stars I discovered Goth and managed to escape this sea of mediocrity.

The Crow
I learnt to respect the ones who deserve it
and learnt to enjoy life, love, music in a way many non-Goths couldn't./
One learns a lot about our world,
its roots, its history and past, good and bad chapters.

the evil one
?/?

Thyssen
I learned that I am not as simply structured as the majority of people would like me to be. /
?

Tristan
?/?

VampirMike
Most people in the Gothic scene want to be distinguish from the average, daily world where there is not a lot of place
for imagination and deviation from the norm.
Gothic is an imagination world, a dark romantic world, into that I attempt to flee./
?

Vena Cava
I don't think it has helped me learn about myself so much as accept what I already knew.
And thank God for a label (goth). People around me seem to need that./
It has made me feel less alone or like a freak since I can communicate with other goths by computer,
since there are none in my area in real time.
It has also made me less sure of many things I believed in before due to the intelligent questions of others about religion,
made me more social since I feel more honest in my goth getups (that this is the REAL me),
and brought me face to face with a ghost or two as a result of experiments with witchcraft
and visits to the cemetery to admire the statuary.

Vile
I learned that I can do things that I want, because, I want to, and that I shouldn't let anyone stand in my way./
That many people are only telling the truth when they call one another liars.

WantonBlood
?/?

White Raven
The Goth world expanded my horizons about my sexuality, mostly. And my relationships with others./
It helped me understand the world's variety, as well as its beauty
and horror and the reactions of those who are outside and do not understand.

Xefiel
By being goth, it helped me discovered what I really wanted to be and not what people wanted me to be.
I learned that being yourself is much more fun and much more interesting. /
The world is the home of millions of people and if you want to be looked at,
try to be different, try to be the individual that you are.

XjUsTcRuCifyX
I have learned the realities of life and who I am.
I have learned to be who I truly am and to not be ashamed of myself.
I have learned to delve into my creativity and tap into a deeper world in my mind and thoughts.
I have gotten very in tune with my senses and feelings and know how to manipulate them./
I have learned that the world is cruel and harsh, but is also wonderful and interesting.
There are many things in the world that tear me to pieces, and many things in the world that awe me like nothing else.
But I don't live in a made up happy perfect place in my mind,
because I do pay attention to the darkness, and I think that many people in the world who aren't goth,
especially high schoolers, don't really realize what things are truly like.

Zerstoerte
I've learned more from being a parent than being a goth;
Goth is something I've just always been, I've never really put much thought into it./
I wouldn't say it has.

.....Back to Top


Question #6: Do you find yourself more nationalistic, more frightened, more conservative, more angry
(or any other reactions)
since 9/11 and what has come to pass since then? The world has altered dramatically because of those events.
How do you think the changes will effect goths?

50 Ft Queenie
If anything, I've felt more fragile since 9/11, more insignicant and overall, helpless./
I'm not sure the events of 9/11 will affect goths any differently that it has already affected the general populace.
More people may turn towards the goth scene as an outlet for their fear, anger or cynicism.

aLiCe
Few of the above. A bit more worried about the general state of affairs of the world, and about my own wellbeing,
but frankly things have been worse, and will be again.
Dwelling on the past only invites unpreparedness in the future--learn your lessons, fight your battles, and move on.
Life is to be lived./
So far I've seen few grand scale changes, although politics and patriotism have become more popular conversation choices...

Amanda
All of the emotions you listed I have felt since 9/11. I have also felt more relaxed with myself
to do things that I may have restricted before September 2001.
Living with the sense that it really could "all be over tomorrow"
definately leads me to open up to more enjoyment of the present./
Unfortunately, goths have been targeted for many tragedies that have happened in our schools and other areas of society.
Because society finds it easier to point fingers instead of actually taking the time and MONEY
to help alleviate the issues that lead to terrible events,
I'm afraid it's up to us to teach tolerance.

angel
?/?

Angel in PVC
?/?

angelus
I refuse to let fear rule my life./
No I don't think that it has changed the veiw on Goths; if anything it has taken the spotlight off of us after the Columbine massacre.

Arantèle
?/?

ariana
For many months, I was paralyzed with fear, couldn't work and gained about thirty pounds.
Now I am accepting the fact that life has changed, innocence is lost and that we are probably
at the beginning of the end of civilization as we know it.
I believe more then ever that there will be nuclear war within my lifetime and it will destroy everything./
I suspect in the US, anyone looking different then the "norm" will be gazed upon with an element of suspicion.

Azazelle
Sfter 9/11? Maybe people are more paranoid,
I think it does make one more conservative if a threat to one's way of life is perceived.
Perhaps it's harder to be flamboyant etc./
I have no idea what social goths would feel to be an outcome of it for them.

Billy MOD
?/?

biogoth
I'm more frightened, but what I'm frightened of is what my own (US) government is doing
--arresting and holding people without trial, that sort of thing.
Am I afraid of terrorism? Of course I am, but not really any more than I was before.
Maybe it was because, as an American GI stationed overseas,
I was always a little more aware of the reality of terrorist threats than most Americans./
More paranoia in general about people who don't fit the mold . On the other hand, at least 9/11 has pretty much permanently displaced Columbine in the public consciousness.

Blue elf
I find myself very concerned about an individual's rights to privacy,
and that they are being taken away in the name of preventing terrorism./
I think that there is now more prejudgice against anybody who looks different than a WASP.
This will effect anyone who chooses an alternate style of dress adversly.

C.B.
I find it sad that people are back to their old ways of taking things for granted, complaining about trivial matters,
and being mean & rotten to each other. Yet a nation as a whole cannot sustain that intensity for very long.
Still it would be nice to see *something* permanent come from it.
I violently and totally disagree with my government's actions and reactions. Too slow, too misdirected.
Too politically motivated.
One big plot to get the public rallying behind Bush.
Before the disaster he was on shaky ground due to that botched/rigged election.
They are spending money we don't have--not focusing on the real cause of why this happened.
Every single action Bush takes just further fuels the fire of militants.
And I can't see why everybody doesn't see this and demand a third-party political system./
It makes life for goths a WHOLE LOT more difficult at airport security with the
various accouterments that goths everywhere tend to wear and carry with them.
Goths as a whole may have a slight edge over the rest of the population in dealing with 911 because we don't repress
"death & mortality" into the depths of our subconscious.
Yes, it was a horrific senseless tragedy--nothing will ever change that.
But we acknowledge every day that death and darkness is just another aspect of life and light.
Yin and Yang. You can't have one without the other.
It forced everybody to step back and showed us how important it is to live life.
That life isn't necessarily forever.

Calhoun
?/?

Calista Waterwoods
?/?

Candy Derakh
?/?

Cemetery Crow
Ask Americans, they were the ones targeted.
What they do is just a manifestation of trends already written within their own demise
as it has been for every dominant culture that has ever existed. A new world order will come when all the nations of the world
will feel that there has been enough death to call it quits.
We'll also be dead by then and will never know what happens afterwards.
People from the future will read about it and think that we were totally ignorant and barbaric.
They'll have other preoccupations./
People will only be affected for six months. That's the average time that social events occupy.
There will be anniversaries of it from year to year, but already, it's left the realm of our preoccupations.
It's a historical marker, just like tombstones.
Humans live in the present and look towards the future. 9/11 is just another event in a few centuries of horrible events.
It will not affect Goths in anyway what-so-ever.

Chad
?/?

creepy
?/?

Crucifixia
?/?

cypher
¢Definitely more frightened and more despondent over what people will do in the name of god and country./
The goth group with which I am involved in NYC was affected in the same way that everyone else in NYC was affected.
General psychic trauma.
They raised money through one of their events for victims' families.
I do think the events of last September will adversely affect goths in that the country will become
even less tolerate of ideological or even physical "otherness."

Daevina
?/?

daoine o'
There are too many other pressing issues on my mind right now to really worry too much about it.
I suppose mostly I'm angry, but only because of the way the world has changed,
and how things should have been taken care of much earler, re: allowing too many immigrants into this country,
and especially not doing enough to weed out illegal immigrants from certain areas, not just Muslim, specifically, but from other places. My neighborhood is crawling with [illegal immigrants] them./
People will still be just as distrustful and close-minded as ever;
there's no correlation since goths weren't involved in the events of 9/11
(even though they weren't involved with Columbine either, and yet look what happened).

Davis
I feel a bit of anger towards America for glamorizing or Americanizing the events of 9/11.
They treat it like a celebration more then a tragedy.
They put on fucking videos of the stairwells and all the people running down them screaming and yelling then they show exactly how the plane hit the building and other shit like that. It's wrong!
Then to add insult to injury they go on a mad bombing rush and kill tons of people and what the fuck is FRENDLY FIRE?
I sure as hell don't think there's anything as bombing someone nicely.
4 canadians died because of someone's stupidity. 4 families have no daddies to come home.
If there had been a Canadian in that plane they would have bombed us too!/
I don't think it'll effect us Canadian goths much unless we try to go to America,
in which case we'll be stopped and accused of being "terrorists".

Deacon Syth
Not at all./
Not to sound contradictory, but I think it'll only make the borderline goths more stereotypical
in their gloominess. I don't see much of an effect on anyone I know.

deadly
Not at all. Very little has changed./
I doubt it will change goths. Yes it affects us, but personally I see death as another step in life.
Yes it sucked what happened but what are we supposed to do?
So I don't think it will have too much of an affect on the goth culture.

Decaying Ivy
?/?

DJ Caluna
No./
I don't think that those changes have different effects on goths than on other people.
Although the surface and the opinions of goths may be different to "average" people,
the deep inner fears of death, cruelty and war are all the same.

DJ Ladybee
?/?

Dusk
My opinion about the events is that the international fascists have won their deal:
they now have the opportunity to eat and beat Arabs, and to express their racism to anyone.
I revile those people. The problem is deeper and more dangerous./
Yes. As with anybody, goths become the victims of materialism. (Fashion, fetishism, extreme right wing horrible thoughts).

Elusis
?/?

Emily Bronte
?/?

GOTHIC39
I've always been conservative; the 9/11 events did effect me a little bit because I work for one of the
airlines that was involve./
I think it has not effected the scene that much.

GothicBeauty
?/?

Gothikka
?/?

Gypsy
I wasn't ever really all that patriotic to begin with. I'm not really all that much more after 9/11 either.
Not that I have any disrespect for America, I'm just not all into waving little flags./
I know during that time many goths were criticized for being "dark" and "depressing."
Ozzy even went so far as to change the name of his tour.
And Anthrax even suggested changing their name.
But slowly as time goes by its effecting this particular culture far less, hardly any at all from what I can see.

Hardrock Llewynyth
?/?

Individuation
This is a very difficult question because this event has stirred up a lot of emotions.
Given that I teach social studies, I've had to deal with this in a more public way that most of my peers.
I think that at first I was afraid and angry. Flying still makes me very very nervous.
When the slew of flags went up all over the country I became more afraid.
It reminded me, in a very strange way of Nazi Germany--with all of the swastika flags flying. Super Heightened nationalism
can have a huge impact on the policies of the government,
and I was afraid of the impending war. I do think retaliation was necessary--but I think we might have gone overboard,
but I don't know.
Mostly, right now, I'm INCREDIBLY pissed off at the loss of our civil liberties that we are experiencing as a country.
I understand that desperate times call for desperate measures, but the complete and utter lack of respect that our
public officials are showing for the Constitution is unforgiveable.
I'm probably going to call the ACLU this week (as I'm on summer break now) and ask if they need any
part time workers for the summer.
What Ashcroft and the Bush adminisration are doing is simply scary and smells a hell of a lot like McCarthyism./
My roommate thinks it will cause the goth scene to grow, eventually, because as society becomes more intolerant,
with the loss of civil liberties and all, people will gravitate to a place where they are more accepted
and where they will find more than tolerance. We just had a big debate over this (spurred on by your question)
because I mostly disagreed with him. I can see his point of view,
but I think there will be a bigger change to the net goth community
who is fairly free with their opinions about politics. I think that the search for seditious speech could become
a real obstacle for those of us in the net goth community.
Especially since Bush and Ashcroft are trying to give the FBI the right to simply cruise the web
looking for information about terrorists (or anything related).

jain doe
I have found myself more annoyed. Annoyed with the hypocrites who a year ago
would never salute a flag, never say the pledge of allegiance, and all of a sudden one day they decided that
this is all that mattered. Yet after a few months they were right back to their normal selves.
I like to call these people the hypocrite Americans.
The ones who would totally decide one day that this nation is unimportant to them, yet when disaster strikes
it is the most important thing, but only for a few months./
I don't think it will effect goths much more than how goths are effected [by anything else].
Many people may be more suspicious of goths, but as to living as a goth, nothing has changed.

Jennie
More nationalistic actually, yes. I feel a greater urgency in my support of Scottish political independence
because I feel very strongly that Tony Blair has no right to speak in my name
when he talks about making war on third world countries; and furthermore,
I am aware that support for his war efforts is much lower in Scotland than it is in England,
so I don't feel that he has as much right to try and speak for my countrymen as for his own.
I am frightened of social deterioration occurring as a result of September's tragedy
and of the subsequent mishandling of the situation by governments.
I continue to do what I can to encourage cultural integration and acceptance in my local area,
and to campaign for the rights of refugees at a national level, as well as trying to encourage a sensible approach
to utilising the skills of refugees where this country is experiencing labour shortages.
I try always to maintain my own patience and calm
to avoid getting drawn into antagonistic situations at a time when that can have wider consequences than usual./
The extreme right wing are on the rise across Europe, and there's been a marked increase in racist attacks
and in cultural isolationism. This has to be bad for any visible minority.
When this was at its worst immediately after those events in New York,
I found that I was one of the few non-Asian people whom my Asian neighbours were relaxed around,
because they were aware that I was not a part of the prevailing culture;
I did xperience slightly increased levels of hostility from nerds, but of course this
was nothing like as severe as it was for local Asian people.
I understand that the situation is somewhat more paranoid and extreme in the USA,
but as I have only second-hand knowledge of events there
I am not in the best position to comment.

Jetgirl
?/?

Johnny Formaldehyde
?/?

Jola
Possibly more angry/despondent, but not much. I'm not living my life any differently./
I don't think it will. I think that we are pretty realistic about evil and death.
I don't feel as if I've "lost my innocence" or anything like that.
I always knew that evil on this scale is humanly possible. Didn't WW2 teach us that? Did we learn a damn thing from WW2?
Than why should 9/11 be any different?

Kate
I've found myself more interested and considerate of the Muslims, about what would drive them to it
and what would make them think it was a positive action./
No more than anyone else, although maybe some of the mopier,
tragically suicidal goths will wake up and start appreciating the fact that they're alive.

Katwoman
I myself am more conservative and more open about being pro-American,
and I stay more informed about world events./
That's an interesting question. I haven't noticed much of a change in the local goth scene,
as the scene in Philly tends to be anti-political. My guess is that if goths got politically involved,
they woudl tend to be more left-leaning and pacifist,
but I don't notice that my goth friends now pay more attention to the world outside them than they ever did.

Krockmitaine
More disgusted than ever of the way the politics, and the so-called excuse of "terrorists" seen everywhere
reminds me the McCarty era.
I hate more and more the nationalist trend in which people try to believe that their country is better than any other.
When I see flags waving, I go away screaming./
So far so good. Here in Canada, we're not as crazy as in the US.
But give a few years and will see.

Lestat de Lioncourt
?/?

LiFreak
?/?

Lisiblac
?/?

Lord Madd
?/?

Madame X
More frightened./
More of us are unemployed!

Malinda
No, but then I never had illusions of safety. I am by no means paranoid,
but wars, senseless violence, and political attacks can occur anywhere. The only real anger I feel
is in the perpetuation of prejudice against people of
Mid-Eastern descent. It is true that Mid-Eastern countries are the ones most likely to attack American people,
but a people is not mutually exclusive with its country. And I am not entirely against the idea
of profiling in an effort to track terrorism, but people must still be given the right of "innocent until proven guilty."/
The same way it has effected everybody. This tragic crime did not single out any American subcultures,
so I don't think that any will suffer particularly. The same is not true for Muslims or people of any
Mid-Eastern descent in this country, of course.
I do think that now that the "safety net" of being in America is proven fallible, younger people will
go through a time of cynicism and paranoia. This may lead to a higher inclusion of people into the gothic subculture.

Marcelous
After 9/11, I have found myself to be even more mellow and easy going than ever before.
I am never in a rush to do anything, and am overall just relaxed./
I don't think it will effects goths very much.

Medea
I have always been a patriot, even if I haven't agreed with the direction of our leadership.
I worry that there is more to the whole thing than meets the eye.
But I've always felt that way about world affairs and our government./
The same as it effects anyone else. We are all trying to find more meaning in our lives.
What is positive is that we are all looking at the impact of hatred and prejudice.

Micah
I am angry, but I think that Americans had become too insulated, feeling that such things couldn't happen to THEM./
It's killing my business. Pre-9/11, there were many goths gainfully employed in the tech and related industries,
and they were buying lots of stuff.
Now, I am barely making ends meet.

Miss Lynx
None of the above, really. Maybe more cynical,
given how much it's been exploited by the media and politicians for their own purposes.
I'm not trying to be callous in saying that--it was a terrible thing to have happen, but like I said, history is full of terrible things.
Anyone who's conversant with all the many atrocities
human beings have inflicted on each other the centuries can't really have been too shocked by it./
Hmmm... We'll stand out less because everyone else is now depressed too?
Seriously, I don't know if I really agree that the world changed. I think maybe the USA in particular did, though.
There have been innumerable atrocities in the world's history--
9/11 can't really hold a candle to the Holocaust or the Inquisition
or any of the many other horrors history has known. The only real difference is that this time
it happened to a superpower who had previously thought themselves untouchable.
I think the biggest thing it's done is to give the USA, as a whole,
a sense of its own mortality that it lacked before. So even though it was a terrible event,
it may in the long run help that country to mature a bit. It's not a good way to have to mature,
but it would be nice to have something positive come out of it, at least.

Mistress Hades
I felt very close to America at the time, as I was born in Massachusetts and grew up there.
I went to the London embassy with flowers and we all queued about 1 or 2 hours to sign the condolences book,
I don't think anyone knew what to do.
Yes I was and am still angry about it. I am not frightened at all./
I don't know anyone who wasn't ill or who didn't stop everything to watch the television for about 2 days after that time.
The whole thing affected everyone who cares about harming innocent people the same awful way.
I thought a lot about what those people should have been doing on September 12th.
At home with their families and girlfriends or boyfriends or children, or just living another day.

moonglum
Angry that the 'mourning' has moved beyond mourning. There has been a loss of innocence,
but for crying out loud, it is time to move on. The longer this carries on,
the more we are allowing the monsters who perpetrated this horrid act to win./
The same way they will affect most people, I think. Remember,
I've emphasised the fact that goths are people just like anyone else.
We were touched as deeply by this event as anyone else was I think. Tragedy is tragedy no matter what.

morbius
?/?

museumbitch
I am an Anarchist, so I most certainly am not nationalistic!
I lived in the U.S. for the first 29 years of my life (and still retain my citizenship).
In Feb. 1994 I moved to Sweden and haven't set foot in the U.S. since then.
I feel an immense *hatred* and *loathing* for the U.S.
All that country means to me is the place where I was poor, grew-up with constant violence (from my mother and stepfather)
and nothing I did seemed to enable me to get away from that life. Since Sept. 11,
I've been worried about expressing my intense dislike for the U.S. because I'm afraid people will misunderstand
and think that I don't have any compassion for the people who died last Sept.
But, I have just as much compassion for people in Afghanistan who are being bombed by the U.S.
even though many of them (especially women and their kids) are also VICTIMS of fundamentalist Islamic extremists./
Hopefully, people will find something more intelligent to do with their time than hassling someone for being goth.
Unfortunately, they may just spend more time hassling Arabic and dark-skinned people.
Like many people, I have turned to artistic efforts
in an attempt to process/express my feelings regarding Sept. 11. I haven't done any time of memorial per se;
but I definitely feel the need to do something life-affirming. Death is a natural part of our existence; however, being murdered by terrorists is not.

Mylucretia
?/?

Nadia
No. I find myself deeply worried by the rhetoric spouted by politicians in both the UK and the US.
You can't make war on an abstract noun./
In the UK I find that unlikely.

Nevermore
I think I'm about the same. I was always proud to be American.
I'm not so much frightened, either. I'm not near any big cities or any potential terrorist targets
(except a nuclear plant about 50 miles away), and I don't fly too often./
I think it effects goths just the same as anyone else. It showed that the United States isn't the impenetrable giant
we all believed it was.
However, afterwards it was shown that anyone who attacks the US is making a mistake.
The US may not be impenetrable, but its wrath is mighty.

Nimue
?/?

Paola
?/?

pink spider
I haven't really changed. It's something that happened in a faraway place
and I can't help thinking it doesn't really relate much to me./
Same as how it would affect non-goths, I'm sure.

Prosthetic God
?/?

RaVeN
?/?

Ravenheart
Angry, sad, perplexed by the unbelievable futility of it all.
If you don't like the United States, stay the hell out of our country./
Don't know. Make us gloomier? More introverted?

Reynaldo
?/?

rinaedin
?/?

Rois
More frightened for myself and my freedoms. I'm not afraid of terrorists, but of our government.
I'm developing a little bit of paranoia. There are things I won't mention on the phone, try to avoid discussing via email.
I've done nothing wrong, but I'm afraid that if I say or type the wrong thing, I'll flag a keyword, and get myself noticed./
I think it's gotten harder for everyone. Civil rights are getting squashed,
there's an interminable "war" against an indistinct "enemy,"
and questioning anything you find iffy wins you the charge of being "unpatriotic."
If goths have a harder time of it, it's because we're a visible subculture with a reputation for being weird,
creepy and violent, thanks to media misrepresentation.

Sage
?/?

Sally
It did not change the way I look, it is just that I'm more aware and distrustful,
and also more angry at the American government which,
instead of doing something good, is just putting more gasoline on the fire./
The same as anybody else. After a while, being sad and scared, we will forget, it's human nature to forget.
Oh, perhaps it's a bit more complicated now to cross the borders when you look weird.

Samael
Since September 11, I have been more frightened when travelling,
but at home I am merely apalled and horrified at what humans are capable of./
Apart from the ones affected personally, I think it varies.
Some will become more cynical, more depressed, while others will take it in stride.
Some will be disturbed by it, others not affected at all.

Shekinah
Angry at the power infrastructure. It just gets to me how this fight is really between the big people,
and its the little people who always who get stuck in the middle and are the pawns and the victims.
Lives seem to be expendable if its for the benefit of the cause (making the other side seem at fault),
and that goes for either side.
There's a lot of shit going on that we never see and never hear about. there's always several sides to a story,
and in a war there are even more. I got stuck in America during the bombings and it had made me scared at the time.
Now at home, I feel safer (I don't think i ever will in the States again),
but i live my life more fully. you never know when its going to cease./
It will just give them something more to mope about--the whole idea that the world is now more than ever shit.
Or alternatively they will see it as a blow to the institution they hate the most. Or like most people,
they will forget and move on.

Silver Moon
More fascist, really./
Goths are "over" reality!

Sire Cédric
?/?

Sky Claudette
9/11 was quite a tragedy. As I watched one of the towers collapse outside my bedroom window,
the rumbling sound of it crashing down is not what I expected to awake to.
The downtown area was filled with smoke in the clouds for quite sometime & even with our windows closed
we could smell all of the burning toxic chemicals.
Yeah it was a strange time. I even went to one of the vigils on 14th street. I paid homage we both did.
It was a very sad thing as I am already an emotional person to begin with but what I did & have noticed & still notice
is that people actually had feelings when the tragedy occured.
After it started to pass, people went back to exactly who they were again,
which was & is very rude & insecure about who they truly are./
They have no feelings what we wear or what we look like & who we are has nothing to do with their lives what so ever
& trying to judge us at every given moment just shows how truly foolish & insecure they really are.
I thought for awhile maybe people would wake up for a change & have feelings & learn to accept the world for its beauty
although these are people who think only the ugly things in life exsist because
of being taught the wrong way & having a loss for life.
Hiding your feelings & pretending to be someone who you are not just for the sake of approval can make
the coldest most insecure horrible people exsist in our world.
Me I am who I am. 9/11 was a tragedy but grieving on something for the rest of your life can make life difficult to live.
I believe living life to it's fullest is the best way possible for enduring it & knowing that there is more out there to life than what the media or some right-wing person tries to tell you.
This is our freedom, this is our right to be who we are. Rules were set to keep people from doing what they truly wanted to do
to hold them back.Living life to it's fullest is the only way.

Slave1
I'm scared to know how easy it is to die.
It saddens me that anyone could care so little for others lives.
I wish there was no war and conflict and that people could work together.
A very idealistic thought I know, but I can still wish./
The changes have effected everyone, no matter what "style" they are.
We appreciate each other a lot more now I think, and we try to be kinder better people.

SUZANNE
?/?

TankBoy
There's a war on, and we're here to help./
Not at all other than perhaps certain right wing elements of society might try to scapegoat goths yet again at some point.
We'll have to see. Meanwhile I've been rather busy because of 9/11 and Enron
[which made the western economies 2nd guess themselves].

Taoist
?/?

The Crow
Angry about the stupidity that exists on this planet./
They'll be looked at even more closely. Some may think of us as terrorists as well.
We shall continue our fight against misjudgment, barriers and conformity, as we have over the last couple of years.

the evil one
?/?

Thyssen
I even feel less nationalistic after the event;
I am not more frightened and hell no, I am not more conservative.
But one thing is for sure, I am a lot(!) more angry./
Phew, I think this question is more directed to the US-goth scene
since over here in Germany nothing has changed really after 9/11.

Tristan
?/?

VampirMike
I think all over the world we should fight contra terrorism../
I think all intelligent people like peace.

Vena Cava
No on all counts. Since politicians were so fond of touting that "No act of terrorism has ever happened on American soil",
I figured it was just a matter of time anyway and I've thought this since the bombings began in Belfast
between Christians and Catholics back in high school.
I was unprepared for the scope of the attack however, and what really
bothered me most was the undeservedness of the victims.
They did what "good people" do every day, get up and go to work,
and their world fell right on top of them and crushed them.
I think any attack on any innocent person for any reason is WRONG WRONG WRONG,
but I also can see how frustrated and miserable Muslims must be because of
the restrictions of their religions (especially for women)
and how decadent and godless Americans must look in contrast,
especially since the images they are often faced with come off MTV.
I also think the Palestinians are between a rock and hard place and I can understand their frustration
at the huge amount of money that is given to Israel when they deserve a corner of land to call home as well./
I think it has already made some people more suspicious and fearful of anyone who appears "scary" or different,
in my experience--postal workers especially because of the fear of anthrax contamination.
When I began decorating my outgoing social or ebay payment mail with goth pictures
(pictures of gothy looking women cut from fashion magazines with bite marks, bloodied lips or fangs added with metallic ink or nail polish, or pictures of wolves or vampires)
in October last year (just after 9/11), the local post office
considered that a threat and opened most of it for nearly three months.
I would get email from ebay sellers saying the envelopes had been opened and resealed but no money was missing.
I mentioned this on a goth message board and someone across country who was doing
something similar stated the same thing had happened to them.
Since I like a generous amount of personal space wherever I go,
I actually prefer people give me some berth, so I don't mind them thinking I'm scary.
I am always scrupulously polite if I speak at all so I've had no problems other than mail I can relate to 9/11.
People (especially kids) who are sincerely curious will come up and ask you why you are dressed "like that" anyway,
and we always hit it off rather well.

Vile
?/?

WantonBlood
I feel more than ever that hate is a dangerous and evil thing that should be squelched whenever possible.
Evil has nothing to do with wearing black. Hate is evil.
All of my friends are so different. I have an Arabic friend from Morocco who is a practicing Muslim.
He lives here in America, and works here.
He is well liked and has many friends but has had horrible things said to him following the events of 9/11.
He is one of the kindest people I know.
The Muslim religion is something he practices, but hate is not. I feel as a Goth and an American,
we need to stop "vilifying" the "Other" just because they're different./
In the wake of September 11th, I can't say that I have considered how the event affected me as a Goth until right now.
In that context, I see myself as an American in a country where I am lucky to live because
while we don't have all the religious freedom and rights to think and say and look how
we want that we are supposed to have in theory (in the Constitution and Bill of Rights),
I am not forced to do any number of things that in other countries people are expected to do.
I feel shocked that people in another country could hate me so much for what I am because
they have been taught that what we are is wrong and different.
Ironically, this is what Goths commonly experience on a weekly basis, but on a much smaller level.
I see myself FIRST as myself, second as an American, and third as a "Goth". I am who I am no matter where I was born.
But if I hadn't been born in America, then I might not have had the freedom to express myself
as much as I can here in the States.
People might not like my opinion, but at least here I can have one, and say it out loud,
and people like you will ask me and I don't have to be afraid to say what I think.

White Raven
?/?

Xefiel
?/?

XjUsTcRuCifyX
I am not more nationalistic at all;
I had quit saying the padge for years, and I said it once on September 12th, but I haven't said it since.
I am not frightened, really, even though I am a little paranoid of another attack in my town,
where there is a big nuclear plant nearby.
Not conservative, and not really angry. I think I feel at peace with what happened, because like I said,
it opened my eyes more,
and it was what the world needed, even though half of those affects are washed away by now./
I think like anyone, goths are affected in a sense that not so much is taken for granted anymore.
I believed that even though we have some of the most open eyes in this world, we were all still in need of a bigger awakening.
I think that while most of the world has moved on and some have pretty much forgotten,
the goths remember it and live with it, use the knowledge to guide them.

Zerstoerte

I would say that I'm finding myself a little more cautious of people in general, but not much more so than I was before 9/11.
Terrible things happen to people all of the time-I believe I'm becoming quite desensitized to violence./
I really don't think the events will change goths, specifically, unless they live in New York!
Although the event was tragic, and harrowing in the fact that it hit so close to home,
9/11 is no different than the acts of terrorism that happen worldwide on a daily basis.
Americans only paid so much attention and tribute to this
because it happened in the States, and 'that sort of thing' just doesn't happen in a country like the U.S.
I think we all need to pay more attention to what's going on in other parts of the world more often,
not just when it happens in our own backyard.

.....Back to Top


Question #7: If you could tell someone attracted to the gothic lifestyle just one thing
about being goth, what would that be? Any final thoughts?

50 Ft Queenie
Don't let anyone dictate to you what goth should be.

aLiCe
Be yourself.
I think Goths are a lot less different that most people believe,
or than they themselves might have you believe.
We're all just people trying to make a buck and survive till tomorrow.
We still listen to music and go to parties and put gas in the car just like everyone else.

Amanda
Take a moment to explore all that the word encompasses./
I enjoy the opportunity to meet as many of these wonderful people that I can.

angel
Roll with the punches./
Its been such a roller coaster ride, meeting some of the nicest people on earth to meeting some of the pettiest.
You have to have a thick skin and never worry about what others think--its your life.
But also remember, you make your bed, then you lie in it. leave the drama at the door.

Angel in PVC
That it is very important to like black.

angelus
Run!

Arantèle
It's conditional on being confident enough to know who you are and that being goth corresponds to your soul./
You'll be happy as long as you trust yourself and follow your soul.

ariana
Sometimes people are assholes, both in the scene and out.

Azazelle
?

Billy MOD
Just be yourself and accept yourself for who you are.

biogoth
I don't think I can narrow it down. Everything I said above.

Blue elf
?

C.B.
Be true to yourself.

Calhoun
Know yourself and be goth for yourself. Not for any other reason or any other person./Goth is goth. That's it.

Calista Waterwoods
?

Candy Derakh
Love yourself for who you really are, first and foremost
and don't hate anyone because they're different from you.
Be helpful, not hurtful./ Being goth is more than "looking cool" and hanging around a bunch of people who "look cool".
It really is a way of life. It's how you think and it's just something you are.
Only you know if you're goth. No one can tell you what you are and aren't.
To me being goth is about being myself. So just be yourself and you'll live a lot happier of a life.

Cemetery Crow
Enjoy the ride, ask yourself important existential questions, learn to live apart and stay away from Satanism. /
Normal life sucks and will not bring to you any american rewards!

Chad
?

creepy
?

Crucifixia
The music.

cypher
Keep an open mind. Don't become the thing you hate. /
That if too many Goths complete this entire survey, it says something about the amount of time they have on their hands! :)

Daevina
I'd tell them to be themself.
If they're doing it because they want to look "cool" that's fine. But don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable.
The most important thing in life is to be true to yourself; you don't owe a thing to anyone but you./
I just still want to say and make clear that I personally don't look at it as a fashion thing
and that Marilyn Manson isn't the true essence of goth. That's all.

daoine o'
Do your own thing. Don't be like anyone else. Do what makes you happy./
Attention to the general public: It's rude to stare.
Mind your own business. Get over your own insecurities.
To gothic girls: Buy a *real* corset, dammit.
You're embarrassing the rest of us by looking so cheap and foolish.
And to gothic guys: Learn how to put your makeup on better.
Get over trying to look like 'The Crow'.

Davis
Nope.

Deacon Syth
It's the ultimate in self-expressionism.

deadly
It's the greatest experience one could have if they know how to go about it the right way.

Decaying Ivy
Be yourself. And Grrrr.

DJ Caluna
Proudly cherish melancholy--inside and outside.

DJ Ladybee
Don't think just because someone else is 'goth' or calls themselves such,
you will be the best of friends, or even have anything in common beyond superficial aesthetic interests.
They may be just as big an asshole as a frat boy or a yuppie chick or anyone else.

Dusk
Be honnest with yourself.

Elusis
There is no one "gothic lifestyle"--the people who show up at the goth club on the weekend
live vastly different lives from each other during the week.
If you're attracted to the goth scene because it stirs something deep inside you,
come join the fun; if you're attracted because it seems "exotic" or "weird,"
please stay home.

Emily Bronte
?

GOTHIC39
?

GothicBeauty
You can express yourself any way you want and that you shouldn't care what anyone says about you./
I just would like to say that I love the lifestyle and soon,
the world is going to be mostly goth's, not preps!!

Gothikka
No prejudice. /
The goth community accept you for who you are, not what you can give.

Gypsy
You'll feel free-er then ever before.

Hardrock Llewynyth
There is no "goth lifestyle". The only thing to tell people interested in the goth subculture
and style is not to take it so damn seriously
and to cruise thrift stores a lot 'cause the clothing can get really expensive./
There is a broad aesthetic and attitude that is shared by a number of different sorts of people with many different lifestyles.
"Goth" itself is too vague to be nailed down; and most of the questions and presuppositions of a survey such as this
are based far too much on a stereotype that covers only a tiny fraction of the subculture.

Individuation
The goth scene is wonderful, just don't take yourself too seriously.
Remember that an image is just an image. Be true to yourself. /
Goth is not only about cothes, music, and being weird. It's not. It really is more of a mentality.
The people in the goth scene just have a different way of viewing the world around them.
Most are pretty liberal and creative people.
I know people that don't own a stich of black clothing that consider themselves goth
because of the things they enjoy and the people they enjoy. A lot of goths that I know are very politically aware
and socially upstanding members of their communities. If being goth is just about appearneces...
then maybe i'm not goth anymore.
Or maybe it's become something that transcends simple descriptions of what we look like
and how black our blackest clothes are.

jain doe
To just be themselves. No one likes a poser.
Stand up for what they think is right and to try to not give goths a bad name

Jennie
That nothing is worth anything without a sense of humour.

Jetgirl
Be yourself, don't let anyone intimidate you.

Johnny Formaldehyde
Just be true to yourself, and if you're Goth you'll know. /
More people need to learn how to have fun with it,
instead of being so angsty all the time, just because they think it's the Gothic thing to do.

Jola
follow your own path. /
goth is an aspect of what i am, it's not the be-all end-all of my life.
it's an aesthetic, not a perscribed path.
I have always been a very flamboyant sort of person with a odd little turn.
Even if "goth" did not exist, I would still be goth .

Kate
Never forget that there's more to life than being goth.
Don't be a caricature.

Katwoman
That it allows you to really express yourself and live in another time (e.g., Victorian)
and be artistic and that it opens up a whole new way of thinking./
Goth has been an incredibly positive experience for me, but to be honest,
I don't understand the people who seem to be attracted to it solely for its ability to shock or hurt or repel.
I'm sure it fulfills some need, and if the alternatives are to be scary vs. get beat up every day, I can understand the need
to present yourself as someone spooky and evil.
But I never really was like that--I was always cheerful, sensitive, artistic, and eggheaded--and I'm definitely not like that now!
Let me just say that if I were speaking to a young goth I would urge them NOT to do anything now, with goth,
that closes off a part of life,
like hurt themselves, scar themselves, make threats toward others, or try to create black magic.
I would ask them to see goth as an escape, not a weapon. It's something that will allow them to go where they want to go,
and that once in it they will be able to heal themselves and accept others.
Goth accepts almost all religions (I love the idea of Christian Goths), all nationalities, all sexualities.
You can walk a path other than the one the world tries to set for you.

Krockmitaine
Be yourself, explore, read a lot./
I think that it came early for me. When I passed my whole adolescence at the hospital.
Because I was alway sick as a dog, I was always reading, taking my revenge by reading adventure stories
while I couldn't even run 100 feet.
I think my formative years were there, reading and enlarging my personnality
which otherwise would have been much different.
When the music and the clothes came, which were so different from the laissez-faire of the hippys and the flash of the discos,
I was ready because individuality was a big part of the movement.

Lestat de Lioncourt
"You need to offer virgin blood and your soul before you can be one..."

LiFreak
?

Lisiblac
Don't treat it like a trend.

Lord Madd
Don't./
If you are a goth, please continue. If you are just a fashion victim,
following the dictates of your corporate overlords, stay away.
We are the Underground, We are the darkness, We don't want you.

Madame X
I wouldn't really. Perhaps just ask a few questions to better understand why the individual was 'goth curious'.
And I would just encourage them to wear black and experience it.
Perhaps I would add, 'don't go to a club and think or act as if it is a pick up joint'. /
Diversity and individuality is a tremendous part of the Gothic Culture.
Goths are not mopee kids, but dynamic creative individuals exploring that which others dare not.

Malinda
It's all about having fun and being yourself.

Marcelous
Get ready for the time of your life."

Medea
I'd probably babble on about "back in the day." That, or get a good eyeliner pencil.
It's true... goths do tend to be very kind and generous.

Micah
never take anything too seriously. ANYTHING.
Nail polish remover gets hair die off of skin.

Miss Lynx
Think for yourself. You don't have to be a walking stereotype.

Mistress Hades
Being a goth is being free from the rat race.

moonglum
I've expressed who I am, which I hope will tell you enough about what 'being' 'goth' means to me.
I'm not trying to be sarcastic, or belittle. I understand that there are stereotypes
which the general public have of goth and the goth (sub-) culture that are hard to avoid.
It's stereotyped that goths are dark. There is beauty in the darkness.
It's stereotyped that we love death. Death is inevitable. I don't fear death.
I'm atypical. I was diagnosed with cancer in May 2000. For a long time, it was uncertain whether I'd live or not.
Through it all, I understood that death is just another part of the cycle of life, another spoke on the wheel.
I did not wish death to find me, but I was willing to accept death as natural, and if it happened,
then it was meant for it to be this time for me.
If I seem cynical, it is mostly because people assume so many things because of a label
that either I or society has placed on me. I accept being a goth because for me to be anything else would be false.
I think deeply. I feel deeply. I hurt deeply. I feel the world's pain.
I find the world to be an often miserable place to live in, because there is so much hatred, pain, and loss in the world.
I'd love for there to be acceptance, but that's not this world. I have found more acceptance, love and understanding
among people who are also labelled/label themselves goth than anywhere else. I've also found some extremely closed minded,
parochial, narrow people as well. Like I said above,
any (sub-) culture draws equally from all facets of the greater whole it exists as part of.
I'm not painting goth as a situation of nirvana, but I have been accepted there. And loved.

morbius
Try it out you might like it.

museumbitch
Goth is where you find it. In other words,
be yourself and do what you feel comfortable with.
Don't feel compelled to conform.

Mylucretia
Don't be a follower.

Nadia
There is no big secret.

Nevermore
Don't do it if it's not for you. Don't force it just to be trendy./
More important than being goth/punk/ prep/grunger/hippy/whatever is being who you are.
Owning a couple of black outfits doesn't make you a goth.
As far as subcultures go, there's a lot more philosophical and intellectual baggage
that goes along with being gothic than one might expect.

Nimue
If the person is attracted by the lifestyle, that person should definitely start living as goth.
For it is the best choice I have ever made to become goth.
Being goth makes you feel immortal./
Gothic is wonderful, fantastic. A way of life not respected by other people,
but one on it's way to amazing everyone.

Paola
You don't HAVE to be a miserable git to be goth./

pink spider
No sun!

Prosthetic God
That we really don't bite...hard.

RaVeN
?

Ravenheart
Don't do it for anyone but yourself, and
use it as an outlet for your creativity, emotion, and individuality./
I think the most interesting, unique, mysterious, enigmatic, intelligent and artistic people are goths.
Like us!

Reynaldo
?

rinaedin
?

Rois
Try it. Get your feet wet. Dress up, go out.
See if it's you. Just don't pretend. Be yourself. If it's right for you, you'll know it.

Sage
I'd tell them that being gothic is more than just wearing the black makeup.

Sally
Stay yourself.

Samael
Be what you want to be and don't let others' opinion bother you.

Shekinah
You feel sexier./
I think I've probably tooted on long enough, but what I will say is that
I reckon you have a hard task ahead of you.
Goth is so diverse I imagine it will be hard ot put it all in one book. And what you do put in a book
will possibly only further pigeon hole what it is to be a goth. I don't mean that too negatively,
I think the idea of a book is great, but if you think too much about what it is to be goth,
then isn't that being a little superficial? I don't actively think "do I look gothy enough today?".
Its just who I am, I'm not comfortable as anything else.

Silver Moon
Are you sure you can live with listening to other peoples' comments on your look, preferences and so on?/
Goth isn't a dress fashion, it's a way of living, regarding all the aspects of life,
and not being afraid of what other people usually regard as "sad" or "spooky".
You need a great deal of irony to laugh at these things and if you have irony
and consider all the aspects of life (sun and storm, day and night,)
then you won't suffer or be concerned about other people's comments

Sire Cédric
Be yourself.

Sky Claudette
?

Slave1
You get to be yourself!!!/
Let go of the sterotypes and be more openminded people!!
Life is all about creativity and diversity!!! We can all learn from each other.

SUZANNE
Make an effort./
I would never choose another subculture to be in!
The people annoy me, the reputation irks me,
but it is rich and layered, and I love it!

TankBoy
The gothic world is populated with beautiful creatures who have interesting minds and souls. :) ITS FUN!/
Dear world, we're here, we're not going anywhere,
who does your hair that looks wonderful! :)
all I can think of to say off the top of my head is:
This is not mind control, Think about it.
[shadovision, 1984] " nice... or leave. :) "

Taoist
Freedom of Expression./

The Crow
Depth and beauty of the ride, so jump in and never let go./
If someone asks me what is goth music or style, I always explain the nuances within the goth "sector".
Goth is so wide for me, it includes all kinds of music directions:
Medieval, Industrial, Ritual, New Wave, Classic Goth, EBM, Electronic,
Vampiric, Etheral, Metal, Black Metal, Trash, etc.
And all these different types of music as well as the different people that go with them
make the scene so diversified, even though we are in the minority.

the evil one
The clothes.. its all about the clothes.

Thyssen
Not everything that seems to be dark is automatically evil as well.

Tristan
?

VampirMike
Gothic is more than music, it is a lifestyle, it is an attitude.
Most people in the gothic scene want to be distinguished from the average, daily world
where there is not a lot of place for imagination and deviation from the norm.
Gothic is an imagination world, a dark romantic world, and into that we attempt flee.
You can squeeze a gothic feeling into music, but also into clothing, art, literature and film.
Some have a nostalgia for the past, others embrace modern technology.
For some people music is the most important. And there is a variety of styles not only in music, but fashion for example.
Some Gothics wear romantic clothing with velvets and lace. Others favour a fetish look with leather and latex.
And it doesn't matter to each type of dresser whether or not their clothing is Gothic enough .

Vena Cava
It's NOT all about the clothes./
I just wish there were more goths here to run around with and perhaps form a movie club or moondancers group.

Vile
Do it because you want to. /
People should do what they feel and be how they want to be, because then they're original and still being true to themselves.
Be as evil as you are.

WantonBlood
The one other thing that I wanted to say is that I kind of get a kick out of
people referring to goths as a culture, or as a people, as if we were some sort of united Brotherhood.
Its kind of ironic that we're called "goths," because historically there were a people
who moved across Western Europe, making a ruckus,
and greatly influencing its development, or lack thereof (they apparently sacked a few places on the way).
The Ostrogoths and Visigoths weren't so much a nation or people, so much as a bunch of people generally traveling together
when convenient or practical, over a period of time. That's what goths today are like.
We're sort of making a ruckus, disturbing the "peace," because we look different and have different ideas
and occasionally challenge accepted norms. We come in all shapes, sizes, types, and attitudes,
and we're just all grouped together, because we're "Other."

White Raven
Define it yourself./
It is far too misunderstood, and goth is merely a label,
It cannot describe any one person fully. More often than not, it is only one side.

Xefiel
Embrace the darkness and try to smile./
It is late, 2o'clock in the morning, don't have time but one thing, I hate light, I prefer the night and I prefer pale skin.

XjUsTcRuCifyX
Be careful. Learn reality from fantasy and learn how to deal with things that come your way.
It's easy to get caught up in all the fantastical lifestyles and ways, but many of them will lead you down the wrong road.
Stay sure of yourself, definitely./
I love being goth, and I am who I am.
I love to meet new goth people and learn anything I can.
I love the insight and depth that I am offered in being goth and I think it's a wonderful thing.

Zerstoerte
To not listen to anyone else, and to follow your heart.
Dress how you want, and have fun with it!
Eccentricity is an attractive quality :)/
Just because we look diffent, and have different interests than the mainstream,
does not make us bad people. Also, just because we're goths,
doesn't automatically make us bad parents or a bad influence on our children!
It's considered wrong to discrimate against peoples of different cultures and races,
and the same should apply to the gothic community.

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