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Week 5
Guardsmen, News From the East!

August 4, 2003

(Humming)

"Lieutenant Delver speaking.

Man! Why does Tau music sound so much better than Hymns to the emperor?

I don't understand why we're fighting the Tau, they're at least friendlier than CSMs and mutants. The colonel has just managed to ship our lot away from Vigilantum, and we're headed for another hellhole!

Sigh!

Why Can't the generals and lords see that we need to be FRIENDS with the Tau? I'm sure that together, we could all cooper..

HEY YOU! I said I wasn't to be disturbed!

Oh! My apologies Comissair Henrik, I didn't..." BANG! (and then some more shots)

"Lieutenant Delver has been prematurely "resigned" from service. Have faith in the emperor, and HATE the Alien, KILL the alien.

Comissair Henrik ending Vox-Com.

- - -

Me an da boyz iz fightin up in da Skar-uz, an we foundz yer broadcazt.....good stuff, fer a Tau. Kan ya playz uz sum gud 'ard rock? Mebby sum Steppenwolf?

Boss Ugbuz, uv da Sundownaz (Mordakka Prime, Skaruz Sektor)

We don't fight da Tau, dey izn't a gud fight!!!!!!!

- - -

We now begin another broadcast from Sa'Cea Sally, on Comm-channel Free Damocles:

"Welcome back, my friends in the Imperial Guards out here in the Ultima Segmentum. We extend a special welcome to those listening in the Segmentum Obscuras, by what relay we cannot tell except perhaps that of your own. We are flattered! We are also flattered that other races in that Segmentum are listening, and we welcome them as well! However, we find it difficult to understand Orkish on our request line so please be patient while we find a fluent interpreter. We shall attend to your request as soon as we translate it.

"We will be discussing much other than musical requests today, though. Perhaps this should be our justice segment instead of music, with all that I must tell you on that front.

"Firstly, we captured one of the criminal Storm Troopers sent by Flavius Rafael, an Inquisitor of your spiteful Ordo Xenos. It was his party that we believe was responsible for that memorable attack on our studio. We regret to inform Inquisitor Rafael that we shall not be repatriating Corporal Baz Ignatz, of Nowy Silesia, as we consider him an enemy combatant rather than a prisoner of war. His attack was committed during a cease-fire, on a civilian facility, and was committed while he was not wearing a uniform. As such he is considered a spy and saboteur. To the family of Corporal Ignatz, should there be any listening to this broadcast, we do guarantee his honourable treatment and shall grant him a fair trial for the crimes alleged against him. I am also reliably informed that our prosecutors are not pursuing this as a capital offence, so you need not fear for his life.

"Should any of his compatriots be listening, your honourable surrender now may be your only hope! It is only because the wounded Corporal Ignatz was found by our civil authorities that we can treat this as a civil offence. If you continue your fruitless attempts to prosecute an illegal guerrilla campaign against us within our own space, we will continue to send our military against you. You well know that you cannot stand against their firepower! And you cannot negotiate terms with a pulse round. If you surrender to our civil powers, we guarantee you the same honourable and fair treatment of Corporal Ignatz.

"The same goes for those forces illegally in our security zone. For instance, those mysterious Space Marines in advanced suits of silver armour we intercepted on the world of Pavonis. Though their purpose was not readily apparent, they resisted all attempts at contact and demonstrated significant hostility. The 82nd Tash'var Orbital Drop Strike Cadre, under the command of the revered Aun'el Tash'var Lupin M'yen, was forced to engage them and drive them into ignoble retreat back to their concealed vessel. How they returned we are not certain but it was possibly that teleportation device you have. Very useful when running away from a debacle, I imagine! Why do they not give one to you, my friends?

"And we point this offer out as well to the survivors of the so-called 'Death Corps" of Kreig, scattered over the neutral world of New Krakow after your crushing defeat. You were betrayed by the incompetence of your colonel and the criminal neglect of your Administratum, trying to drive our patrols from there! Why you were sent into neutral space, when there are many more important battles for you to wage on the Cadian front, is a matter of a criminal court of your own I expect. We now hold your Colonel Custer, though we regret that his medical condition is grave. When he has recuperated well enough, however, we shall return him to your own borders. But we cannot guarantee such treatment for you should you not surrender! We hold your landing zone, and the forces of Shas'O N'Dras M'yon Kauvat will hunt you until you are found one way or the other. Surrender to the M'yon Kauyon Cadre now, and we can spare your lives! For there is no other way off the planet, and your water purification tablets must be running low by now. Do not die of thirst, or worse! We have plenty of safe drinking water available to honourable prisoners of war.

"We understand that justice is much on your minds there, on your side of the lines, as well. The regrettable murder of poor Lieutenant Delver while still recording his request must stand high on your list of grievances. These murderous Commissars of yours truly are spiteful and vindictive, are they not? We do not understand why these bullies and thugs are necessary in a properly constituted army. An army that needs these so that they will not run away is not an army at all! It is a massacre waiting to happen once it enters the field. Our Fire Warriors would rather not shoot those who will be shot by their own officers! However it is their sad duty to protect the Empire from all foes, willing or conscripted.

"So be careful, my friends in the Guard! They still continue the barbaric practice of murdering you, their own troops, for the mere act of listening to the comm! Is it not time that you decline the honour of being shot from before and behind? Is it not time for you to refuse the orders of Colonels like this wretched Custer of Kreig? After all, if they violate the terms of our cease-fire, then this empowers you with the right and duty to refuse!

"Stand up for your rights, Guardsmen! Demand the justice you deserve! And you may be able to save both yourselves and the Imperium.

"On this note, I shall now play for you a selection of popular music..."

- - -

August 6, 2003

We now begin another broadcast from Sa'Cea Sally, on Comm-channel Free Damocles:

"Good evening, Guardsmen of the Eastern Marches. I trust you are feeling well? I know that I feel wonderful, in the safety I enjoy here in the Tau Empire.

"You know, my friends, I have often remarked that you are unfortunate to be wasted out here, far from the life-and-death struggle near that awful Eye of Terror that worries the Administratum so much. Now, perhaps, I see that there may be a benefit for you after all to being in this remote sector. It does seem that trouble is brewing over in the Caliban sector, does it not?

"It seems like only yesterday that I remarked to your Master Cornix of the Ravenwing that perhaps he should enlist the help of your Inquisition to find that Mysterious Character his Dark Angels chapter was seeking. And now this character, this 'Voice', appears without anybody's help! How wonderful for you. I wonder what he has to say after all this time, hmm? We will be listening eagerly here in the Tau'va, my friends. So should you. You might be surprised by what you hear.

"Does it not seem to you that there have been many surprises for you in this long campaign? We wonder how such a marvellous information-gathering force like the Inquisition could have missed so many of these signs. Perhaps they are too busy looking at their fortune cookies and tarot cards to actually track down your enemies? Oh, of course, they are too busy hunting down and killing your own officers and men for imagined betrayals! My mistake!

"Or are your forces really that riddled with treason? I would hope not. For your sake.

"But if they were, then that might explain why you have so many of those bullying Commissars in your ranks. We find it hard to imagine having to use weapons to force your own troops to fight for the Imperium! This is not loyalty, this is simply forced labour! We fight for the Empire with whole-hearted joy, knowing that we serve the Greater Good and that all the Galaxy will benefit from our labours no matter how small.

"Perhaps there is something missing in your Imperium, that would explain the difference? Perhaps it is that your Imperium is based on hate, instead of honour? That may explain why it has become so great and yet remained so fractured. It may also explain why you have had to fight traitors for ten thousand years!

"So perhaps you should not complain about your boredom, my Guardsmen friends. It may be infinitely better than being trans-shipped into the bubbling cauldron that is the Segmentum Obscuras. At least you know that it is only your officers that you cannot trust here.

"Or are there more like those near the Eye, out here? Watch your backs, my friends. Watch them very carefully.

"To encourage your watchfulness, my friends, I shall now play for you a selection of popular music..."

- - -

August 7, 2003

We now begin another broadcast from Sa'Cea Sally, on Comm-channel Free Damocles:

"Hello again, Imperial Guardsmen. I am glad to see you again. I hope you enjoy the show today, as we have some very interesting information for you. So stay tuned!

"Firstly though we would like to recognize and congratulate those holding the bridgehead on Vigilatum. I hope you appreciate their sacrifice, charging in to roll back the tide of the Traitor attack. They are brave and wise, and obviously know how to serve the Imperium better than their own bloated egos. Unlike the rest of your officers! They would rather throw you into the fire in the hopes that they would earn another pretty ribbon for their uniforms!

"For instance, look at the foolish leaders of the Emperor's Disciples chapter of Space Marines. They foolishly advance into our security zone attempting to build a secret base, thinking that they could hide their illegal advance from us! We can count on the wisdom of the Greater Good to watch for the safety of the Empire, and the Tash'yar 'Shi 9th" promptly discovered them. Despite early strong resistance, the Marine defense soon crumbled in the face of our battle suits and Kroot allies. The Marines are still on the run!

"But run as they might they cannot escape the truth that their presence in our security zone is against even the failed cease-fire agreement that the Administratum had proposed. Again and again your adventurers cross into our zone, and we have to destroy them again and again. We despair at the prospect that your leaders will never learn the wisdom of peaceful coexistence.

"After all, we both fight against your piratical traitors. Shas'o M'yen Valor'yn Karou of the Chron'ai M'yen 1st Cadre engaged a force of Iron warriors traitors in our security zone as they attempted to subvert our reconnaissance satellites. The assault on our command bunker failed only because of the wisdom and bravery of O'Valor'yn. Despite the use of bio-engineered giant warriors, bizarre arrangements of implanted weapons, and unusual combat constructs, our mighty Fire Warriors drove them back outside the defense perimeter where our reaction force ambushed and destroyed them!

"Do you not wish that you could do the same, my friends?

"But, of course, your super-powered 'defenders' are too busy slinging accusations of heresy at each other to do the same! It makes us sigh every time. If only you could share the Oneness and Unity of the Greater Good, all these petty squabbles would drop away and you could go on to fight the only enemy that can truly harm you; your traitorous kin.

"Alas, your Administratum does not feel the same. And we do not wish to force you into discovering wisdom; that can only be done by yourselves.

"With the wish that you find wisdom soon, I shall now play for you a selection of popular music..."

- - -

August 8, 2003

We now begin another broadcast from Sa'Cea Sally, on Comm-channel Free Damocles:

"Welcome, Guardsmen of the Eastern frontier! I am honoured that you joined me this evening. For we will be talking much about honour tonight. And I think that we will learn much about it together.

"Your leaders, of course, think that they know all there is to know about honour. They say so a dozen times a day. But their idea of honour is to sling accusations of heresy at each other while they try to gain glory at the expense of their neighbours! So instead of defending the Imperium they rend it apart with their rivalries. Do not allow yourselves to be used so, Guardsmen! For this is not truly honour, but only greed.

"Even those who claim to be the Emperor's chosen defenders are failing him in his hour of need! Your Marines squabble with each other, like unruly children, over feuds that started an age ago. You or I would have forgotten them, or forgiven and moved on by now. But no, not them! So when the Dark Angels are not hiding their secrets, they are at blows with the Space Wolves over an ancient debt of 'honour'. The fools! There is no honour in brawling! Brawling only distracts them from their duty.

"And when they are not clubbing at each other, they are violating the peace instead of defending the Golden Throne. Hear, now, of once-honourable Space Wolves and their betrayal! Though their captains counselled restraint, some rogues of theirs penetrated deep into Tau space and attempted to reive the sept-world of Sa'cea itself! I do not know if this is in retribution for my broadcasts or mere barbarian greed, but we can thank the skill of Shas'o Sa'cea Kais Mont'yr Kauyon and the wise guidance of the honourable Aun'la Sa'cea Mont'ka Vash'ya for intercepting the pirates. Unable to reach the world itself, the thieving Marines landed on its third moon for some unknown purpose. There O'Kais and his cadre blocked a critical pass. The battle was hard-fought, but the attackers were stopped in their tracks by the indomitable spirit of the brave Ui'Rotaa and his Broadside battlesuit. After that, the remainder of the cadre broke the ill-disciplined curs and sent them fleeing back to their dens!

"Go back, Wolf Lord Bjarni Hrulfsson and your cowardly lackeys, and lick your wounds! May you find honour in warding the Old Wolf on Cadia instead of throwing it away with this foolish viking far from home. Or would you rather stand aside, forsworn, and let him die amidst your sworn foes? Where is the honour in that?

"Honour, my friends. Your leaders say its name many times, but few of them truly know what it means. Honour comes from pledging yourself to something beyond yourself, and then fulfilling that pledge. Not for glory, not for reward, but for the sake of redeeming your word. Honour comes from conducting yourself with grace and restraint in times of crisis. Honour comes from setting a good example for others. Honour comes from helping those in need. Honour comes from respecting your comrades. But, of course, you know all this. You are the Imperial Guard. And all these are merely parts of your sworn duty to protect the Imperium.

"Honour, my friends, is earned by doing your duty. This is the first lesson taught in the Tau'va and the foundation of the Empire. May it be truly learned in the Imperium as well, that it may know some kind of peace.

"In honour of our friendship, I shall now play for you a selection of popular music..."

- - -

August 9, 2003

We now begin another broadcast from Sa'Cea Sally, on Comm-channel Free Damocles:

"Hello, Guardsmen of the Imperium. I speak to you tonight in the hopes that we can truly share together the wisdom and insight of each other.

"For it has become plain to us here in the Tau Empire that the Imperium is crumbling. As fellow children of your ancestors we Gue'vesa, human helpers of the Tau'va, suffer along with you after every defeat in Cadia. We shudder at the thought of your Ancient Enemy despoiling his way through the galaxy. We would not see humanity fall! Such would not serve the Greater Good any more than it would the plans of the Emperor.

"Under the incredible pressure of the current invasion, your feudal system of government is breaking down. Each commander cries out, 'Defend my lands! Without them the Imperium will fall.' Yet it is not the fate of the Imperium that sparks these cries, it is the individual pride that their home is more important than all the rest! So you do not coordinate, you do not cooperate, you instead slide system by system into the gaping maws of the Traitor armies. And this is intolerable!

"We of the Tau Empire shudder at the thought of the Imperium in the hands of Abaddon and his like. Yes, the Administratum is corrupt and incompetent. Yes, the people are ignorant, superstitious, and cruel out of fear. Yes, the Marines are intractable and wilful. Yes, the Machine cult is secretive and harsh. But all these can be cured in time. Your traitors, however, have pledged themselves to destroy all that is good in the galaxy and to let it burn as an offering to their false gods. They cannot be bargained with. They cannot be reasoned with. They revel in pain both caused and received. And, unless you unite, they will not stop until every world is a dark funeral pyre for the last vestiges of decency.

"The galaxy under the Administratum is cruel and uncaring. The galaxy under Chaos is uninhabitable by anything we would care to call our friends.

"We cannot just stand back and wait for the Imperium to fall, for the collapse would be too vast for even us to survive. We cannot send reinforcing troops to you, for our vessels are not swift enough to reach you in time and would probably be intercepted by well-meaning but misguided members of your Navy. However, through means unknown to us, these broadcasts are reaching across two Segmentae into the battlezones themselves. Is this perhaps the hand of the Emperor Himself guiding our messages to you? Is this a Sign of how we can help?

"So, in the last hope of kindling some sort of peace between our peoples, we offer the only help we can; advice.

"Listen, guardsmen! Listen, officers of the Imperium! Listen to the lessons we can teach, and you may yet see the Imperium survive this trying time! For we have fought such a battle before, in lesser scale, towards the end of the Mon'tau period of anarchy and misery. Throw off this childish xenophobia! As celestial advice saved us in our time of need, so may our advice save you. And, perhaps, we can share the galaxy as friends.

"To toast the hope of friendship, I shall now play for you a selection of popular music..."

- - -

August 10, 2003

"Corporal Ignatz" is a fictional name created for your own campaign of lies and nothing more. My "terrorists" made no move on your silly little broadcast station, for it does indeed bolster the Imperium's brave defenders to know that the dripping lies of the xenos not only exist, but persist!

Inquisitor Lord Flavius Rafael, Ordo Xenos
For the Emperor, for His Primarchs, kill them all!

- - -

We now begin another broadcast from Sa'Cea Sally, on Comm-channel Free Damocles:

"Welcome back , my friends of the Imperial Guard. I am very happy that you could join me for this Sunday broadcast once again. I hope that you have convinced your leaders to listen along, as this broadcast is meant to help them in the coming difficult days.

"Through this unknown agency that sends our broadcasts out to the distant Segmentum Obscuras, we hope to reach those who struggle against your Arch-Enemy now. For the defeat of humanity at the Cadian Gates would be a disaster for us both. In the hopes of averting this disaster for the Tau Empire, we are lending the only aid we can that can reach you in time; our advice and analysis.

"Perhaps this will demonstrate to you that our two great nations can co-exist. Perhaps not. But since much of what I shall draw from comes from human history, we see little reason not to extend our findings to you. At the very worst, they will be ignored and we shall have to find a way to defeat the Traitor Legions still flushed by their triumph.

"But before I continue I must extend our deepest regrets that Inquisitor Lord Flavius Rafael should deny his loyal follower, Corporal Baz Ignatz of the Storm Troopers. We fear for the morale effect among you, the bones and sinews of the Guard, to hear a master shun his responsibility for a loyal servant. This is no way to lead soldiers!

"Perhaps it is appropriate that we shall talk about leadership in the Imperial Guard today. Let us examine another album of ancient Earth history to find some guidance in these difficult times. Because, for all that many of your leaders seem to be living on the dark side of the moon, there are two main lessons to be learned from your past struggles with the traitors.

"The first is that the first responsibility of a leader is to say to his followers, 'Speak to me!' Information is as essential to a good leader as air itself, so he should breathe deep of the reports and memoranda that come his way. I know that this can be dull, but it allows him to see patterns in behaviour and lets him see a glimmer of the enemy's plans. Then, instead of being on the run all the time, he can predict where the enemy will strike and hit them from ambush instead, sending those vile 'noise marines' to their last great gig in the sky. Knowledge is power, so he should gain as much as he can and use it wisely! And the best source is from you on the front lines, who see the action with your own eyes.

"The second is that lives are more important than equipment. A trooper without a weapon can still be a lethal force: a weapon without a trooper is inert, no matter how much money it costs. It is the hand that wields the weapon that is most important, for without one the weapon cannot function. So, should it become necessary, spend ammunition instead of lives! Charging your flesh-and-blood into the enemy ranks only leads to the deaths of troopers on both sides, us and them. When firing, it is only they who die. Except, of course, if you are using those wretched plasma weapons. Are you sure that you do not want us to calibrate them for you?

"Use your firepower, Guardsmen! It is your one advantage over your sworn foe. Las fire, autogun, autocannon, shot, shell, whatever: any colour you like. If enough is concentrated on the critical enemy formations, they will fall.

"These lessons will already be obvious to you, my friends, but may not be even understandable by your leaders. Many seem to be of ancient, in-bred nobility with long histories of brain damage! So watch them, my friends, and see if they can learn. If not, you may have to take steps against these lunatics to ensure that evil does not eclipse the Imperium from behind you while you stand, useless, here!

"Because, if you do not act, some traitor Marine in hot-pink armour named "Floyd" may come up behind you and ask you to join him at his place. In the Eye. And you do not want that!

"To allow you to reflect on these lessons, I shall now play for you a selection of popular music..."

Next week



Created by Steven Patterson, last updated August 23, 2003
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