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Week 7
August 19, 2003
[in the thread titled "The Tau"]
We now begin a special broadcast of Sa'Cea Sally, on Comm-channel Free Damocles:
"Dear friends of the Imperial Guard, welcome again! This is a special notice to you of the ludicrous terms offered by your decrepid and feeble commanders. We are told that some live to be centuries old, and we believe this to be true! For it would take centuries to achieve such heights of senility.
"See for yourselves how absurd they are! Here is the text of their offer:
>> Oh Tau!
>> The great war rages on, the herectics stand poised to burn the galaxy in flame and suffering.
>> Here is our propasal.
>> Despite your faliure to beleive and love the almighty emperor of mankind, he will show mercy.
>> We, the forces of the imperium, shall march, side by side with you.
>> As long as this cease fire lasts, we will demand the following terms and conditions.
>> 1. All combat between the two sides must cease. Now.
>> 2. All Tau fighting for the herectics will be purged, and the alliance will be broken.
>> 3. All imperial ships shall withdraw from the tau space.
>> 4. This alliance lasts only until this foul war is over.
>>
>> We beleive that in this hour of peril, all must stand together for the future of civilisation.
>> United we shall stand.
>> The Emperor Protects.
>>
>> Aurellion Out
"See, my friends? They offer us nothing but a truce, a short-lived one at that, only at the price of our own loyal troops! I ask you, my friends, would you surrender your comrades to such a 'mercy' in order to save your own necks? Especially when you are winning a fight to save your homes?
"Even then, barring the ludicrous demand that we execute our own warriors, your terms would be acceptable if the Imperium could abide by them. Alas, the corrupt and inept Administratum lacks the ability to enforce any such agreement among your feudal lords, even should it wish to.
"We shall maintain our current policy; worlds of the Imperium which could be used by your militants to strike into our security zone shall be offered a Treaty of Non-Aggression. Should the governor of that world agrees to prevent his space from being used as a base for forces attempting to kill our citizens, we agree to respect his neutrality. We shall require nothing more.
"Should the governor not agree, we shall take such measures as are necessary to ensure the safety and security of our citizens.
"It is far more gentle a policy than yours to date, dear friends, and we shall at least see some benefit from it. As shall you, should you be wise enough to accept.
"So, my friends! Encourage your commanders to accept our Treaty! For it would free you to engage in the great liberation of Cadia which must come soon.
"And, with the hopes that at least a few of your commanders will see reason, I shall return you to our regularly scheduled programming..."
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Coming soon, the "lost" Sunday post of August 24