Aug 1
          Iíve often heard it said that women have a higher tolerance to pain than men have. Personally, I think theyíve just had more practice, and therefore are more accustomed to it. Childbirth aside, thereís leg waxing, eyebrow plucking, laser treatments...any one of those would have me not only giving away troop movements and strengths, but theyíre first and last names, next of kin, favourite sexual positions...

Aug 7
          The Sock Monkeys and I were discussing publishing options for Darkside (2). Keri suggested trying a smaller press before opting for E-publishing. So, Iíve come up with a plan of attack: try the big guys first, then the smaller press, then E-pub, self-pub, handing it out on street corners, scrawling chapters on the men's room walls, ranting and raving from my padded cell, and finally, inscribed on one big freak'n tombstone.

Aug 9
          Iím looking for something witty to write in my journal. Nope, that wasnít it. Anyway, Iíve been working on an escape plan from my life. First I tried going over the wall of despair, but thatís a damn high wall, and I got a nosebleed halfway up. Besides, the added weight of my worries dragged me back down. Next I tried tunnelling under fence of futility, but I kept getting buried under my troubles. I tried sneaking past the Powers That Be and almost made it to Fame and Fortune, but they saw right through me and put me back in my place. I think itís time for drastic measures. Does anyone know how to carve success out of a bar of soap?

Aug 11
          It finally appears to have cooled down, and itís about time, too. I found Penís Teddy Bear sprawled on the bed under the ceiling fan yesterday yelling, ďShave me! Shave me!Ē Of course Pen wouldnít believe me.

Aug 24
          Pen and I were on vacation for a week which is why Iíve been out of touch. Well, Iím not out of touch; I have lots of touch left, I just use it sparingly. We went to the beach, Canadaís Wonderland, Wild Water Kingdom, a dinner cruise, saw a couple of movies, went dancing--the woman had me up at seven in the morning and it was my days off and everything! I donít even have to get up that early when I go to work. Of course, I guess itís pretty bad when youíre too lazy to get up so you can go lay by a pool somewhere. 
          After the holidays, it was back to work. The powers that be finally realised they were working us too hard, so they decided to reorganize to take off some of the workload. There used to be 10 electronics technicians responsible for maintaining all of the electronic systems on 20 aircraft. Now there are only 2 of us. Thanks boss. 
          There are a number of important birthdays this month. My dad turned 64 on Aug 18, my grandma 85 on the 19th, nd Ryan turns 17 on the 25th.

H A P P Y   B I R T H D A Y   D A D,   G R A N D M A,   AND 
R Y A N !!!!!

          And by the way, Marsha, Penís Teddy Bear says back off. Heís got the place booby trapped now and all the other stuffed animals are on sentry duty. Now if I can only remember the password to get past that stuffed mouse guarding the kitchen so I can get something to eat.

Aug 27
          Itís bad enough I generally canít sleep, now apparently thereís a conspiracy to keep me awake. I got off midnight shift this morning at 7 AM and foolishly went to bed. Some cretin from work called at 9:00 to let me know my insomnia medication was in at the pharmacy. Then at 10:00 the woman who comes by once a week to tidy up the place shows up. Finally I figure--screw it, Iíll go to the gym and tire myself out. I get back around three, have a shower and hit the sack--just in time for the neighbour to decide that now would be the ideal time to play with all of his power tools. I give up.
          On a happier note, Pen bought me a new windshield for my car, and a new ragtop. Now I can actually see out as I drive, which sure beats using the Force like I have been these last couple of years. Iím sure the pedestrians really appreciate it too. Of course, it makes me wonder if Penís sudden interest in fixing my car has anything to do with the fact that Iíll be taking her car to World Con on Thursday and leaving her with mine.