 DARKSIDE
CH-8
Friend or not, he was a scary sight when he shape-shifted. His red eyes glittered fiercely in the moonlight, and he threw his head back and howled. Bear would have been proud. Josh gnashed his teeth, then shook his head from side to side. He sniffed at the air, caught the scent, and growled deep in his chest. "Got 'em." He set out at a quick jog, letting his nose...snout, lead him. He didn't bother to wait for us. "We'd better follow him," Charlie said. "Besides, I think he's going in the right direction." "It's not like we have a choice," Leanne said. "We have to get Alex back, even if it costs us Sabrina." "It's not going to cost us anyone." Either I looked very determined, or no one felt like arguing. "We'll get Alex and rescue Sabrina. Then we'll all live happily ever after. Got it?" Charlie slapped me on the back, rattling my teeth. "Got it." The four of us set out after Josh. I suppose it would have been hard going running over hill and dale in the dark like that if any of us had been human. Leanne had a vampire's stamina; Charlie was ten feet tall, and probably walked faster than we could run; and I...well, as far as I know I was just breathing for show. I guess Thomas was the only real human among us, and being freshly rejuvenated, seemed to be rather enjoying himself. "Just how much trouble are we actually in?" I asked as we crested another hill. I could still make out Josh just ahead of us. "Trolls aren't evil," Thomas said. "At least not anymore than your average human." Somehow, I didn't find that very reassuring. "Unfortunately they don't think much of Darksiders as a species. They consider us food." "Great," I said. "It's nice to know that I've evolved into a being that isn't considered one of the four basic food groups." I noticed Charlie sniffing at the wind as he ran. "So what do trolls smell like anyway?" "Kind of earthy," the ogre said. "Like a clump of damp mud with bad gas." "So that's what that was. No offense, Thomas, but I thought maybe those tarts just hadn't settled well." "Is he always like this?" Thomas asked Leanne. "No," she said. "He's usually worse." I heard the enraged roar of some terrible beast, and realized it was Josh. He was out of view just over the next rise where a faint yellow glow lined the pinnacle. I put on a burst of speed and raced over the peak. A stone portal opened up into the side of the next mound, and two torches flickered at the entrance. Josh stood before the portal, an armored troll held aloft by the neck while two others grappled him about the waist. "Grab 'is legs, ya mooks." The troll's gravelly voice was probably more raspy than usual as Josh throttled the struggling creature. "I got 'em, boss, I got...oomph!” I guess he didn't have him. Josh kneed the second troll hard in the chest again. He grabbed the third troll by the neck and lifted him as well. "Look out, boss. He's gonna bang yer heads toge...eeww, dat smarts." It was a rather meaty thud. I could still hear the echo as I arrived at Josh's side. "Aw, nuts! Dat’s it. I quits," the last troll said as he realized reinforcements had arrived. Josh backed the troll up against the portal. "Where's my daughter?" "What? That little chocolate morsel?" The troll paled as it dawned on him that his description of the shapeshifter's daughter might not have been the most sympathetic. "Pester and da boyz took her down ta da Burrow just a couple of minutes ago." Charlie lumbered up beside Josh and me. “You hear that? Pester. Now that’s a name,” I said. The ogre just shook his head. “Do ya minds if I has a smoke?” the troll asked when it appeared like we weren’t about to kill him, at least not right away. Its leathery tail switched from side to side in obvious agitation. “It calms me nerves.” Josh lunged at the troll, shoved his face to within inches of the frightened creature, and snarled. The troll blinked its huge, saucer-shaped eyes as the shapeshifter’s fetid breath assailed its crooked nose. With a howl of frustration, Josh wheeled away and paced back and forth in front of the entrance. “Smoke ’em if ya got ’em,” Leanne told the troll. She blushed as she realized what she’d said. “Vampires spend a lot of time watching the Late Late Show,” she confessed. The troll fumbled beneath the battered breastplate of its armor and came up with a cigarette. He stuck it in the corner of his wide, lipless slit of a mouth, and rooted about in his baggy brown trousers for some matches. Finally, he gave up and lit it on one of the torches that blazed at the entrance to the portal. He had to turn his head sideways to keep his long, pointed nose from catching fire. “I gots to find me anudder line a work,” he said after a long, slow drag. “Then this is your lucky day,” Josh growled, “Because you’re our new tour guide.” He picked up one of the long hafted spears the troll guards had dropped during the tussle. The troll coughed up a lungful of smoke that caught him by surprise. “Dey’ll kill me fer sure!” “Then I guess it’s just a matter of how soon you want to die,” Josh said. He idly snapped the spear in two and picked at his teeth with the jagged end. The troll blinked, twice. “Follow me, Bawana.” I looked to Thomas and Leanne, but no one seemed to have any better ideas. Charlie looked decidedly uncomfortable. The tunnel would be a tight fit for him. The troll took another long puff, then flicked the burning ember of his cigarette at his two unconscious comrades. “Tanks fer nutt’n,” he muttered, then led the way into the tunnel. Josh followed close behind, and we formed a line--me, Leanne, Thomas, and Charlie--in that order. The tunnel was narrow, and we were forced to walk single file. The walls were rough-hewn, but cast a pale whitish glow as if coated with some sort of phosphorescent paint. It really messed with your depth perception as it didn’t cast any shadows, and I constantly stumbled over the uneven tunnel floor. “We can’t just keep calling you troll. What’s your name?” Thomas asked. “Drat,” the troll said. “It was me mudder’s name.” I heard Charlie chuckling at the end of the line. Drat seemed to be having an easier time of it than the rest of us. The tunnel had a rather steep downward slope, and the troll often resorted to resting the back of its gray scaly knuckles on the ground as it walked. Its arms were longer than its bowed, stubby little legs, so it shuffled along at an even keel, slope or no. Josh smacked his forehead up against a stalactite, roared in pain, and shattered it with a powerful right cross. Drat coughed up ahead, probably choking on his laughter. Poor Charlie practically had to crawl along the tunnel floor. “How much farther?” he asked after several minutes of travel. "We's just about dere," Drat said. "Maybe anudder couple a minutes, den we’ll be at da Burrow." He picked up the pace, and we had to scramble to keep up. The glow in front of us seemed brighter now, and a light breeze ruffled my hair. I took it as a sign that we'd reached our destination. Apparently, so did Josh. He grabbed Drat by the buckles that secured the troll's breastplate in place, and lifted him from the ground. "How humiliat'n," Drat said as Josh carried him beyond the tunnel exit and out into a gigantic cavern. We stood on a rock promontory that jutted out from a cliff face for about twenty feet, and looked down over a valley another thousand feet below. The ceiling of the great cavern was another two hundred or so feet overhead, and glimmered with a soft, pale orange light that bathed the landscape in its warm glow. Monuments to great trolls of the past had been carved into the cavern walls, some reaching from floor to ceiling so that these colossal stone gods looked down on the valley. Massive marble steps inset with ancient runes led from the promontory down into the basin. The Burrow spread out across the cavern floor. Stone towers several hundred feet in height reached toward the ceiling and interconnected with each other at various levels by a myriad of intricate archways and bridges. Apparently trolls had a real thing for bridges. Smaller buildings, none more than a few stories high, dotted the landscape between the towers. All of the structures were either oval or hexagonal; there wasn't a square shape to be seen. Everything had been constructed of slate gray or white stone and inlaid with more of the trollish artwork. Flowering trees grew in abundance, and creeping ivy wound its way up most of the towers. "Some burrow," I said in awe. Charlie stood and stretched, just happy to be free of the confines of the tunnel. "Not quite the dirt mounds and hovels you expected, is it?" I couldn't think of a witty comeback, and he was too big to hit, so I ignored him. Josh gave Drat a rough shake. "Where are they keeping Alex?" "Geez, I dunno. I'm just a tunnel guard, an a lousy one at dat." Josh walked to the edge of the promontory and held the troll out over the precipice. Drat's eyes widened to the point where they took up most of his face now, and his tail twitched from side to side. "Normally dey jus takes new food to da storehouse, but see'n as she's a Innocent an all, dey might a taken 'er right to da Chieftain's Hall." "And where would that be?" "Over dere, between dem two towers." Drat pointed to a short, circular building near the center of the Burrow. "That white, three-story one?" I asked. I wanted to make sure I had the right one, as the troll's gnarled talon was shaking so badly he could have been pointing to any one of three buildings. "Yep, dat's it." Josh pulled the troll back from the ledge and set him down. "Take us there." "Dere's a shock," Drat muttered as he led the way down the stone steps. We all fell into line once again, and reached the cavern floor in about ten minutes. I kept thinking about what a bitch it was going to be to climb back up those stairs. A cobblestone road led from the bottom step into the Burrow proper, but we made for the tree line instead. The last thing we needed was to come upon a bunch of trolls who no doubt would take offense to our being there. Josh had manhandled the three sentries without much difficulty, and seemed to have Drat under control, but make no mistake about it--trolls are tough little buggers. If he hadn't been so enraged I'm not sure Josh could have handled Drat and his comrades. Catching them off guard hadn't hurt any either. I caught Leanne's eye as we made our way through the lightly wooded forest toward the first of the towers. She smiled and gave me a light peck on the cheek, but didn't say anything. She'd been positively quiet since leaving the Faerie encampment. Thomas hadn't exactly been a blabbermouth either. I wondered what history they shared. The look that had passed between them when Thomas had been forced to rejuvenate had spoken volumes, and being the nosy type I was itching to be let in on the secret. Unfortunately we had more pressing problems at the moment. We came upon the first two towers. They were similar in architecture to the Leaning Tower of Pisa, and rose about twenty-five stories into the air. At the base of each tower was a piazza, dotted by several fountains with statues of trolls on all fours with water shooting out of their butts. "Nice," I said. "Dem's Rump Towers," Drat said. "Rump's loaded. He's hoarded more gold den Rumpelstiltskin." I noticed there weren't many trolls about. I saw maybe one or two wandering about high up in one of the towers, but none on the grounds. "Most of us goes Topside when it gets dark," Drat told me when I asked him about it. "Da Burrow's nice and all, but it can get a little claustrophobic on ya after a time. Besides, Topside's where all the good eat'n is at." We stayed to the wooded area surrounding the towers, and moved toward the center of the Burrow. Trolls were big on trees, and hadn't cleared them away like most human cities do. Of course trolls didn't need parking lots either. The grass seemed manicured, as if someone had purposely planted a forest on a golf course, and the buildings were placed to complement the lay of the land. Aesthetically, it was beautiful. Strategically, it was a disaster. Even for an amateur like myself it was easy to move from building to building all the while staying within the cover of the forest. It took us about an hour's march to reach the Chieftain’s Hall. I peered over a low-lying bush at the entrance to the building. Stone steps led up to a set of double doors, in front of which two sentries stood guard. The sentries wore full plate armor with a light chain mail arrangement that covered their tails. They each held long hafted halberds, and stood roughly at attention, their bowed legs as straight as they could manage. Conical-shaped helmets sat atop melon-shaped heads, and their long, pointed ears stuck out like winged ornaments at either side of the helms. "Okay, how do we take out the sentries without sounding the alarm?" I asked. There was about a fifty-foot clearing between us and the entrance. Josh drew the Beretta that Goibnu had modified. "Do we have to kill them?" I couldn't handle the thought of killing in cold blood. It was bad enough killing the Dark Sidhe--at least they had tried to kill me. But these two, they were just doing their job. I had a hard time seeing them as evil. After all, Drat seemed personable enough. "Do you have any better ideas?" Josh seemed tired. He'd been in werebeast shape now for over an hour, and I knew how much energy that took. He raised the pistol when no one said anything, but Charlie reached out and pushed it down at the last moment. Josh made to protest, but the ogre raised a cucumber-sized finger to its lips and said, "Shhh." Charlie peeked around the bush for a last good look. He waited until both sentries had looked off to the side as they scanned their surroundings, then suddenly leaped over the bush and landed on the steps in front of the sentries in three quick strides. He slammed the two trolls together hard, then tossed the unconscious bodies over the low walls at either side and into the flowerbeds that ran along the steps. The rest of us were up and running before Charlie made it through the doors. "Damn, I had no idea ogres could move that fast," I said as we took up positions just inside the corridor. "It's something we like to keep a secret," Charlie said. "It never hurts to have people underestimate you." I thought about the way most people assumed that crocodiles were slow, sluggish creatures on land, when in reality they could run at about thirty miles an hour or so. "Yep, I can see where that'd come in handy." Luckily for us there were no sentries inside. The corridor ran around in a circle along the perimeter of the building, with doors evenly spaced along the inside walls. Josh grabbed Drat by the scruff of the neck. "Which door? And no tricks; I'm not as kindhearted as Charlie and James." "Tell me about it," Drat mumbled, but led us stealthily down the corridor to the third door in line. "Ya jus goes tru here, and den on ta da next room, and dat's da chief's chambers. If she's here, dat's where she'll be." "After you," Josh said. Drat sighed. "Well stake me in sunlight, sometimes ya just can't win fer lose'n." Drat pushed open the door. The antechamber was in total darkness. "She's in there," Josh said. His ears morphed from beast to human and back again. "I can smell her." "Me too," Charlie said. "Me three." My own nose was pretty good now, when I knew what it was I was smelling. Josh made to step through the door, but Thomas held him back. "My nose might not be as good as the three of you, but I smell a trap." "What choice do I have?" Josh said. "I know she's in there. I can't just stay out here." He had a point. "Let me go in first," I said. I'm already dead. What's the worst that can happen to me?" "Dey can capture youse and torture youse fer all eternity." Trolls really could be irritating little creatures. Josh handed me the Beretta and readied the shotgun for himself. Leanne looked pale again, though I didn't know if it was because the demon had let loose, or she was just worried for me. Thomas drew a dagger from the scabbard at his side. For a musician, he looked pretty tough. I gave Josh the nod, then dove through the door, tucked into a roll, and came to my feet. I thought I looked pretty cool, if I do say so myself. I glanced about the room for signs of a trap, but as far as I could tell I was alone. Even in the darkness I could see pretty well--you know, me being dead and all. I pulled my lighter from my pocket and lit one of the torches that lined the wall. It was well soaked and caught right away. I used the torch to light three more. Josh followed me in, and the rest of the gang was just behind him. We made our way toward the door at the far end of the room. There was a sudden shimmer effect as close to forty trolls stepped out from the wall. Did you know that trolls could blend into their surroundings when standing up against rock or stone, kind of like a chameleon? Neither did I. Josh roared, but was halted in his tracks as several spears pricked at his chest. "Don't even tink about it," Drat said, a smug look on his face. "I should have let Josh drop you over the side of the stairway," I told the troll. Drat lit up another cigarette, borrowed a spear from one of his comrades, and pricked Josh in the throat with it. He took a long drag, then blew the smoke in the shapeshifter's face. "Change. Now," he ordered. There was the sound of bones cracking, and joints popping, and then Josh seemed to melt in on himself until he stood before us looking human again. His new clothes still fit perfectly. Have you ever watched those old, old jungle movies? The ones where the cannibals capture the good guys and then tie them hand and foot to poles and carry them like hanging meat? Well, it's just as humiliating as it looks. The trolls propped the shafts on their shoulders, and carried Josh, Thomas, Leanne and myself into the next room. Charlie was much too big to carry, so they settled for tying his hands behind his back, hobbling his feet and wrapping him in twenty or thirty turns of rope. They dragged him unceremoniously before us. At least we'd been right. Alex was here, sitting at a heavy, round, oak table and playing poker with three other trolls. By the gold circlet that surrounded one of the troll’s warty brow, I'd have to guess that he was the chieftain. A small fortune in gold and jewels sat before each of the trolls, but by far the largest pile was laid out before Alex. They were losing to her, and losing badly. I guess no one had ever told them not to play with their food. Alex looked up from her hand as we were carried into the room. A slight frown creased her forehead as she saw her father and the rest of us trussed up and swaying from the poles the trolls set into stands made for just that purpose. I have to admit, it was quite an entrance. "Hey, Alex," I said. "Don't worry. We're here to rescue you." ******* |