2 Feb
Making love in the afternoon,
With Cecilia up in my bedroom.
I got up to wash my face,
And when I came back to bed,
Someone's taken my place.

Okay, let's just analyze the lyrics to this song for a moment:

Making love in the afternoon. (Obviously they're not married.)

With Cecelia up in my bedroom. (My is the operative word here. Not our, or the, but my--again, not married--which implies that there are other bedrooms in the house. The poncy git probably still lives at home with his mother. And let's not forget the word up. He doesn't even have the stones to take over the basement and turn it into a little bachelor pad. He's probably still in his old room with the Transformer bed sheets and his Spiderman jammies.)

I got up to wash my face, (Bah, he can't even just roll over and go to sleep like a real man. And what kind of freaky sex are they having that he has to wash his face afterwards?) 

And when I came back to bed (Again, not married. I mean twice in one day?)

Someone's taken my place (What kind of tramp is this guy seeing? He's gone to the bathroom for two minutes and already she's in bed with someone else.)

Nothing in this song makes any sense, unless….yeah, that's it. They're both lesbians. 
Never mind.

Stupid oldies station. Damn cold. Silly drugs.

Oh yeah:

H A P P Y   B I R T H D A Y   M O M!!!
I don't know if mom saw her shadow today or not. I'll aske her when I call her.

And for those of you who requested the rest of the Michael Jackson song:

Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson,
The amazing entertainer,
Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson,
Has a lawyer on retainer.
He's not quite black, he's not quite white,
His nose is disappearing.
Did he molest those little boys
Guess we'll find out at the hearing...

4 Feb
          So, I've been at home, sick these last few days, and I've had basically nothing to do. Doing nothing is harder than it sounds. I mean, there were a few times where I actually got up and attempted to do something, but caught myself at the last moment. Sleeping 15-16 hours a day helps, but the waking moments are a bitch. Hell, I think I even dreamed about accomplishing something. I mean, how sick is that? 
So I really didn't do much of anything, other than chase down the strange thoughts that keep flitting through my head, like: 
          There may be more than one way to skin a cat, but I'll guarantee you the cat isn't overly fond of any of them. 
          That doesn't count as productive, does it? Good, I didn't think so.

7 Feb
          I've updated the MS Word Count for Darkside: Waking the Dead, at the top of the page for those of you who like to keep score. I'm not sure what that is in real word count, but I know it's more--a lot more. Still, this tally will keep me honest, or at least motivated, to keep adding to it. I'm hoping for at least 500 words a day, five days a week, minimum. 
          Of course, I'm also hoping to win the lottery, get a publishing contract, make Sgt, buy a waterfront house and a couple of new cars….Trust me, Darkside isn't the only fantasy I'm working on.

9 Feb
          As some of you may have noticed, I couldn't upload my website for the last couple of days. (Those of you who didn't notice, you're late. Do you have a note?) Apparently I exceeded my 5 MB limit with Sympatico. A warning would have been nice, but hey, they're a big, faceless corporation, so what can you expect? (Actually, I made a face for them once with a Mr. Potato Head--one with big floppy ears and that doofus looking mustache, but it didn't really make me feel any better when I yelled at it.) 
          Anyway, I had to delete some photos to make more room, so for those of you who suddenly find their likeness missing from my site, it's not that I don't love you any more, it's just that adding to these words of wisdom are more important. Although you'd never know it from this recent entry. Or, the last one, or the one before that….
          Hmmm….maybe I should put the pictures back.

10 Feb
          So I was having an argument with the instructor of the course I'm presently taking. (I seem to be arguing a lot, with varied peoples lately, which means it's probably time for me to suck back, reload, and shut up.) Anyway, she was trying to tell me that their was no difference between educating and instructing, to which I replied: "Which class would you prefer your 13 year old daughter took in school--Sex Education, or Sex Instruction?"
          That's what I thought.

15 Feb
          So the military pay raise was finally announced, and oddly enough it's actually a pretty darn good raise for a change. As a matter of fact it pretty much brings me back to the level I was at before I took a pay cut when I was posted back to Ontario. Although the fact that I'm happy about getting a raise so that now I make as much money as I did two years ago is kind of sad. 
          Great, now I'm depressed. 
          Anyway, not much writing done this week. I've been on a Design and Development Course for the past two weeks, which is nice, since I've been assigned to the Design and Development Team. (Wow, that's two rights in a row for the military. They must be slipping.) I think I've mentioned that the team will be responsible for totally re-engineering the training that Avionics Systems Technicians in the CF will undergo in the future, so it's a pretty big responsibility. 
          I'd feel a lot better about it, though, if the criteria for choosing the team members had been a little more stringent. More like: 
          "MCpl Perry was chosen because of his extensive background in all facets of the AVS Trade, years of teaching experience in a wide variety of subject material, and his excellent communication skills," 
          and not: 
          "Hey, Steve's not doing anything right now…"
          And let's not talk about the fact that I was on Duty last night, even though we're not supposed to be assigned duties when we're on course, because it takes time away from the classroom, and we end up working 32 hours straight, and…
Oh yeah, Pen lost her voice for Valentine's Day. Is that thoughtful, or what?

16 Feb
          They say that all of human experience is simply a learning process for the cosmic beings we truly are. Sort of like school for the soul. Problem is, I never really liked school, and this one in particular, bites. The teachers suck, the other kids make fun of me, and I keep being sent to the corner with the fat, flatulent kid that eats paste.
          Of course, the people that keep pushing this theory on me are usually stoned-out losers that still live in their mom's basement and can quote Star Trek schematics verbatim, and in Klingon. Are they at the head of the class, or the bottom? Personally I'll settle for being graded on the bell curve. Just give me my diploma and I'm out of here. 
          Sure maybe I haven't learned everything I'm supposed to yet, but I figure half of it is like advanced calculus--you'll never use it anyway. And, oh yeah, here is a test to find out if your mission on Earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't. 
          Graduating can be a bummer

19 Feb
          People who claim that television is a detriment to society obviously aren't watching the right programs. I mean, sometimes the only thing that keeps you from offing your boss is that episode of CSI you saw the other night.

20 Feb
We saw Constantine today, and we liked it --a lot. So there. :-p

24 Feb
          The class I'm currently teaching is scheduled for nine days, and is supposed to end on 7 March. Apparently one of the kids (I can call them kids, even though some of them are in their 30's, cause I'm older, and more mature, so there. Thppppttt) is on the Base Borden Volleyball Team, and the Regionals are on 4 March. So, I've been order to cut two days from the course so that they can attend, while still including all of the material, don't ya know. I figured, what the heck. I mean. I'm a sports minded kind of guy, so why not? 
          But then they gave my students yesterday afternoon off, for administration purposes, which they need because they're all making arrangements to move on to their first posting after they finish my class, but really….
          As if that's not bad enough, someone scheduled the Annual Flight Safety meeting for this Friday morning and everyone will attend; that's another half a day shot, so now I'm down to six days. I was just told today that, hey, the C.O. has decided he wants to have a parade next Wednesday afternoon, so at the moment my nine day course will be taught in 5 1/2 days. I feel like I'm trapped in some macabre twist on a game of Name That Tune
          "Hey, Bill, I can train that Pte in seven days."
          "Well, I can train him in six."
          "Five and a half."
          "All right, Steve, go ahead. Train That Private."
          But hey, there's no pressure. Maybe I'll just cut out the extraneous material, like the lectures on safety. After all, how dangerous can a jet engine intake or a whirling Hercules propeller be? They're Privates, after all, and expendable. 
          Heck, I can train another one in 5 1/2 days. 

26 Feb
          So my horoscope told me this would be a great day for gardening. Guess I better get the snow shovel and see if I can find the lawn. And lets not forget that gardening is Pen's thing, not mine, and even she loses interest when the garden's buried under three feet of snow. Well, that and the fact that the Bambi's tend to eat all her plants hours after she's planted them. Of course, if she thought for a minute I'd actually go out there and shovel the lawn down to the garden….
          Ah, nuts!

28 Feb
          We saw the movie (and why isn't it spelled "movy"?) Cursed yesterday. It was better than I thought it would be, with a kind of Lost Boys--Fright Night sensibility. All in all not a bad way to waste an afternoon. 
          I also saw a psychic yesterday, because a) she's close; b) she's cheap; and c) I heard she was pretty good. She said all sorts of wonderful things about me, and my bright shiny future. Of course every psychic I've ever been to has been about 100% wrong in any prediction they've made about me. I sometimes wonder if maybe they're not channeling the successful dead guy beside me. 
   Still, I have faith in this one, because I'm all about the power of positive thinking and all that, and...um....she seemed nice.  Of course, that's the same thing they said about Jeffery Dalmer.