7 Jan

          Apparently there's this show on TV called Tai Chi with Grandmaster Liang, but the onscreen menu only shows it as Tai Chi with Grandma…which I suppose is interesting enough, but somehow in my mind it equates to Yoga with Grandma. I keep picturing this 90-year-old Granny Clampette type with her ankles around her ears, which is just soooo not right.
          Okay, maybe it's just me.


9 Jan

  The Seven Quirks Meme:

        1. I stopped sleeping when I turned 34. I would go without sleep for four or five days at a time, suffer through some really freaky hallucinations, and then crash for about a day, whereupon I would repeat the entire process in an endless loop. I now take drugs (trazadone 200mg before bedtime) to help me sleep, which works well (most of the time) but sometimes leave me a little loopy in the mornings.
          2. I have an abnormal spike in my theta wave (the frequency the brain operates on at that point just between sleep and wakefulness) which the doctors can't explain, and have no idea what might result from such a spike. (Hmm...insomnia maybe?)
          3. I have an amazing memory for faces. If I knew you back in kindergarten, there's a good chance I'll recognise you even now. Unfortunately I won't remember your name, or where I knew you from. (I'm lucky if I remember your name even if we've just been introduced ten minutes ago. And you can forget about phone numbers--I do.)
          4. I don't like to be pinned or confined. It makes me antsy even if you place your hand on top of mine. (I'm okay if my hand is on top of yours, however.) I am not in the least bit claustrophobic.
          5. I maintain a sense of humour in even the most stressful situations. I've been known to crack guys up in combat. (Ours guys, not theirs.) It's my way of relieving stress, I guess.
          6. I see extremely well in the dark.
          7. I believe in honour, loyalty, and courage, and still navigate by this outdated moral compass.

14 Jan

          So we went to the movies today and saw "Last Holiday." I thought it was pretty good--for a chick-flick. I mean, I was the only guy in the theater. Well, there was this one other guy, but he was old, and I'm pretty sure he had Alzheimer's. I think the woman he was with tricked him into seeing it.

Imagined conversation:
Man: Is that the giant ape?
Woman: No, Dear. That's Queen Latifah.
Man: Oh….When does she turn into a vampire?


15 Jan - Guilty Pleasures Meme:

          1. Procrastinating--I love days where I have nothing to do, and will often fill them with doing nothing. If it's not important--like, say…breathing--it'll wait.
          2. Chocolate and Diet Pepsi--I figure one offsets the other. I mean, all that Diet Pepsi can't be good for you, right?
          3. Movies--even bad movies. I just love the theatre experience: stale popcorn, over-priced soft drinks, people talking through the movie. (Hmm…maybe this has more to do with #1.)
          4. Studying my horoscope, numerology, I-Ching, tarot, and psychic medium spiritualist crabby-old-spinster-who-lives-next-door-A von lady report. Not that I believe in any of that superstitious stuff. (Knock wood.)
          5. Doing things really fast--like driving a car, motorcycle, boat, plane, skiing (water and snow). The faster, the better. Except for sex.


16 Jan

          Yeah, me! I just finished the first draft of my novel, Darkside: Waking the Dead. It clocks in at about 115K words. Now for the revisions, but...um...woohoo!

          Note: Some of you seem really excited about the news that I've finished my first draft. Just to make things perfectly clear, we're talking novel here, not beer.
          That is all.


18 Jan

          "As you know" is bad enough in fiction, but in textbooks the phrase is downright demeaning. As you know, anytime current flows through a conductor, a magnetic field is produced. All well and good you might say. But what if you don't know. The damn book just made you feel stupid!
          I mean, that'll be the day I let some fancy shmancy text book talk down to me. For it's own good, I suggest it try something more along the lines of , "As you may be aware," or, "As previously discussed in Chapter...".
          Seriously, the next time some textbook gets all uppity with you, I suggest you colour in all the illustrations--in crayon--and don't stay between the lines. That'll learn it. It's kind of hard to come off all pretentious when you look like a Sailor Moon colouring book.


19 Jan

          I read today that 1.6 million Canadians have already voted in the federal election in advance poles. Yet, when they do a survey, a thousand or so people are chosen at random, and apparently they're accurate to within a percentage point or two. Are you telling me then, that with a database of 1.6 million people they don't already have a pretty good idea of who is going to win, and by how much?
          I mean, if these surveys are so accurate, why don't they save us all a boatload of money and just pick a thousand people at random to vote in every election? Hey, it makes sense to me. (So there must be a flaw in the logic somewhere.)



25 Jan

          You can tell you reading a story by me if:  

1. It's funny--even the sad, romantic, or scary parts.
2. You know what everyone is wearing.
3. Dying is the least of the protag's worries. (And not just because he/she may already be dead.)
4. There's always at least one smart-assed misfit.
5. You want me to talk about how I feel? Does this look like Oprah to you?


26 Jan

          So I finished Darkside 2, just in time to get the reject from the agent on Darkside 1. Does anyone have a good list of agents that rep Fantasy right now (urban fantasy). Barring that, does anyone have a lucky rabbit's foot/ four leaf clover/guardian angel I can borrow. (Note: the guardian angel need not have rabbit's feet to qualify. Just my luck I'd be looked out for by Azrael Cottontail.)