Jul 4 
          I was working on chapter two of Jinae today, and decided it was about time I actually wrote out the Boneman Prophecy, which is the basic set-up for most of the book.  (Well, the next two books, really.)  So I sat down and wrote most of it, and it inspired a lot of plot developments and (I hope) interesting scenes for later in the book.  The only problem with it is that in order for it to have any real dramatic effect, I have to change some of the stuff I wrote in chapter one.  I’m only on chapter two and I already have to rewrite stuff from chapter one? Nuts!  You know, I bet this is where all that plot outline nonsense comes in handy.  And don’t bother saying I told you so.  I won’t listen anyway. 
          And to all my American friends, Happy Independence Day!!  You know, you’d think the Brits would be happy for you too.  After all, it was about time you got your own place, and quit bringing your laundry all the way back to England when you visited because you were to busy partying to do it yourself.  And I’m sure your allowance was just killing the Queen.  I mean, even if you guys only got five dollars a week, it still adds up.  Granted, there weren’t quite so many of you back then. 

Jul 8 
          I’ve been trying to catch up on my reading.  I’ve got about a year’s worth of Asimovs and Analogs piled up that I have to read, and several novels that have been recommended.  Of course, now that I’m in full-blown writer mode, it’s hard to read without editing or critiquing.  
          What I find especially interesting is that if my fellow Sock Monkeys and I had critiqued this work, it probably would have needed a major rewrite before any of it ever saw publication.  There’s pages of exposition, telling not showing, POV problems, unrealistic situations, not getting into the character’s heads enough, pacing problems--in short, all the things we constantly point out as errors in each other’s work.  Things that we’ve learned in workshops and at conventions from published authors and editors are a big no-no.  
          Still, these are all published short stories and novels.  The short stories are published in two of the major sci-fi mags.  Sometimes I wonder if we’re being too hard on ourselves, but the truth is that I don’t think we are.  Most of the suggestions made by the Sock Monkeys definitely result in my creating a better product.  So what gives? 
          Maybe it’s not so much the style, or technical merits of the story that matter.  Maybe it’s the ability to tell a really good, interesting or original story that decides whether or not your work gets published.  Or maybe it’s because most of these mags only publish stories by big name authors who can get away with breaking the taboos.  Sooner or later I’m going to crack the secret to getting published, and when I do, I’m going to tell all my fellow Sock Monkeys.  Then, look out.  Once we’re all mega-hit authors with the power to make demands on the publishing houses, we’ll form a consortium, deciding who gets published and who doesn’t, dictating acceptable style, form, and technique.  We will hold the power of what you will read in Alternative Fiction in our hands, decreeing who will be published, and who won’t, who’ll be the next major success, and....Oops.  Sorry.  I kind of got carried away there. 

Jul 14 
          Pen and I went to the movies last night and saw The Kid, with Bruce Willis and...a kid.  It’s one of those movies that make you think about who you are and how you got here.  I never really knew what I wanted to be or do when I grew up.  The only thing I was sure of is that I never wanted to join the military.  It’s funny how that turned out. 
          I think I became the person I always wanted to be, I just didn’t get to live the life I thought would go along with it.  Well, at least not yet.  I really thought I would be a lot more successful by now.  I know this is going to sound flaky--at least it does to me--but I’ve always had the feeling that I would be famous/well-off someday--and not in a Jeffery Dalmer/Charles Manson sort of way either.  And I get the feeling it’s going to be really soon. 
          Coming from me, this is even more outrageous than it sounds.  Remember, I’m the guy who has trouble believing in anything.  And I usually have the most horrible luck.  Of course, I’m sure there are millions of people who feel the same way I do--that success is just around the corner.  Only it turns out to be a southbound bus, and the next thing they know they’re nothing but road waffles.