2 Nov

I haven't posted for a while, mostly because I haven't had anything worthwhile to report, and nothing witty to say. But then I realized that this is more than just a journal to entertain y'all. It's a somewhat skewed record of my life, dating back to Jan 00. So, here goes:

Almost two years ago now, Coyote Moon Publications accepted my story HARBINGER for its ShadowSword anthology. My story was to appear in the first issue of ShadowSword, and they'd accepted stories for at least 5 other issues. The first issue was supposed to come out last fall, then this spring, then this summer, and finally "Sometime in October." I received an email yesterday announcing that the publication is folding, and that they are releasing all rights to stories they've contracted. I think the Universe is trying to tell me something.

Note: Why is phonetically spelled with a PH?

Note 2: Happy Birthday Marsha!!!


You paid attention during 100% of high school!

85-100% You must be an autodidact, because American high schools don't get scores that high! Good show, old chap!

Do you deserve your high school diploma?
Make a Quiz


3 Nov

          My wife, Pen, is a Shopping Savant.
          Not only does she manage to get me to spend most weekends (Saturday and Sunday) shopping with her, normally driving at least 60 miles into Toronto, but:
          Last weekend we were in Danier's and she saw this pair of gloves she liked. I told her to pick them up, but she decided to wait.
          Tuesday she went shopping with our daughter in Vaughn Mills, where she found this leather coat that she loved at the Danier's there. (Even the daughter approved.) Did she buy it? Nooooooo. She comes home that night and raves about it, but says she didn't want to put it on her credit card, and blah blah blah....
          So I offer to buy it for her for Christmas--which means the both of us driving back to Vaughn Mills after work the next day (60 miles) to buy the coat--because with our luck if she waited for the weekend they'd sell out, in her size only, of course.
          As luck would have it, we bought the coat, and it came with a 20% discount coupon on--*gasp*--gloves. So I bought her the gloves she was looking at the weekend before, because, hey, she saved 20%. (Actually she saved 100%, because I bought them, not her.)
          And here's the beauty part--the gloves don't even match the new coat. They're for one of her old coats.
          Is she a genius, or what?

6 Nov

Why is it that my camouflage combat clothing is the easiest thing to find in my closet?

8 Nov

          So my boss asked me if I'd like an appointment with my Career Manager, who happens to be visiting today. I said, "Sure, as long as I get a high powered rifle, a scope, and one round of ammo." He said no, which makes things difficult. I mean, it's a little harder to cover your tracks when you off the Career Manger with your bare hands, during your appointment. It really mucks with the alibi.

          Oh, yeah.
Happy Birthday [info]retrobabble!!!

9 Nov

          WTF??? Somehow I made the merit list. It doesn't mean I'll be promoted, but at least I made the list to be promoted.
          It must be the new Career Manager's fault. Obviously he doesn't know me yet (and hasn't read the highlighted note in my file that says, "Screw 'em.")
          Anyway, if I'm a good boy, I might get promoted in a year or two. (Ha!) He said he doesn't plan on posting me until I'm promoted, so I'm good here until at least 2016.

11 Nov

I wrote this for the Base paper a few years agao. I think it's still relevant.

Priorities: A Remembrance Day Message
By S.K.S. Perry

          I was walking through the mall yesterday and couldn’t help but notice that they were already geared up for the Christmas Holiday season. That’s right, no sooner does the last goblin, spook or pokeman shout, “Trick or Treat,” when the Halloween decorations come down and the Christmas hype begins. Not that this surprised me. Christmas season seems to come earlier and last longer every year.
          It occurred to me, however, that between Halloween and Christmas we were ignoring an important holiday - Remembrance Day. We celebrate the Queen’s birthday with fireworks, even though she’s really not our queen any more. We celebrate Thanksgiving Day with family and feasting (although it’s really an American holiday - I don’t recall studying Canadian pilgrims in history class.) And of course there’s Easter and the Easter bunny (where the real meaning of the holiday seems to be as lost as Christmas), St. Patrick’s day and green beer, New Years Eve and more beer (colour optional), and the odd assortment of Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Grandparent’s Day, ad infinitem.
          Doesn’t it seem odd that the day to celebrate the end of the “War to end all wars” is observed, by the majority of Canadians, with only a brief minute of silence? Remembrance Day is a celebration of not only the end of a global conflict (as if that in itself weren’t reason enough to celebrate), but a celebration of the end of the wars that unfortunately came after. Even more so, it is a way to pay our respect for the millions who gave their lives in those conflicts.
          We create such a fuss over some monarch’s birthday, or the fact that pilgrims a few hundred years ago managed to survive their first winter, but when it comes to celebrating the fact that a power bent on world domination was finally thwarted at the cost of millions of lives, how do we choose to remember this? A moment’s silence.
          Perhaps it is because Remembrance Day has proven to be a failure in many ways. After all, the “War to end all wars”, wasn’t. It was followed only a few decades later by another World War, then by Vietnam, Korea, Kuwait, and the score of conflicts we have so recently found ourselves embroiled in. Maybe it’s fitting that Remembrance Day is solemnly observed, and almost ignored except for those who still bear the physical and psychological scars of battle. If anything, it has been spared the crass commercialism that has buried the true meaning of holidays like Christmas and Easter.
          Still, I think that as the new Millennium dawns, and we realise that hopefully the 1900’s will be the last century to witness a World War, that Remembrance Day deserves a little more respect. Respect for the event that it celebrates, and for those who gave their lives.

Be Well, Live Well.

16 Nov

          I haven't posted to LJ much lately because I haven't really had anything to say, which really worries me. I mean, that's never stopped me before. Maybe there's some Russian Mind Beam sucking all the creativity out of my head.
          If so, I wonder what they're doing with it? Let's face it--what possible use could the Russians put my inane thoughts too. Okay, maybe psychological warfare, but that's it.
          Anyway, it's been overcast all day today, so hopefully it'll block the Suck Beam and I'll get back to my regularly scheduled posting nonsense.

P.S. - To those of you who only read this here, and not at LJ, posting has been even more sporadic as Sympatico has been acting up lately and not allowing me to upload changes to my website.

17 Nov

Has anyone ever personally experienced an Out-of-body experience?

20 Nov

          My daughter became engaged this weekend. Her fiancÚ, Dan, came by and did the traditional "ask for your daughter's hand in marriage" thing. I asked him what he'd do if I said no, which really threw him for a bit. (Let's face it, any guy who doesn't marry my daughter just because I said no doesn't deserve her.)
          I finally acquiesced, but told him he wasn't getting any goats. Dan was good with that.
          (It must have been rough back in the day--not only did you lose your daughter when she married, but odds are you lost your favorite goats too.)

P.S.--Okay, we don't have any goats. But if we did, he wasn't getting any. (Neener neener.)

21 Nov

          We're going to see Chicago tomorrow night. No, not the city, or the band--the stage play. It's playing in T.O., and Pen decided I should take a days leave so we could see it--even though it doesn't start until 8 PM. You know what that means? Right--a day of shopping in T.O.
          This is just generic shopping, too. Pen already has all of her Christmas shopping done. I think she finished it last month. (Yes, you can all hate her now.)
          Still, I'm looking forward to December 10th, when we're going to see Wicked. (And probably do some more shopping.)
          You know I wouldn't mind all this shopping so much if we actually did some buying. (Okay, let me clarify--buying for me.)

23 Nov

          So Chicago was fantastic. Bianca Marroquin was incredible as Roxie Hart, and we had great seats. The only awkward moment of the night came when Pen rushed off to the restroom to fix a contact during intermission and left me surrounded by a bunch of gay men. (Hey, according to the gay clerks at Holts-Renfrew I'm hot--so I've got that going for me.)
          We got home around midnight to find that the woman who comes to tidy up every two weeks accidentally locked herself out of the house in the middle of cleaning. The furniture was all pulled out from the walls, dust piles everywhere, and cleaning supplies scattered around. (Luckily she still had her car keys so she could go home.)
          Not only that, but apparently our furnace stopped working--and it's not the old fashioned kind where you just light the pilot light either. It's some new fangled electronic thingy with really complicated instructions--and as I didn't want to risk breaching the warp core I decided to let Base Housing handle it. (They're still not here yet.)

24 Nov

          My son was told to report for his Hero Shot yesterday. That's the picture the military puts in the paper after they send you somewhere horrible and you get killed. The photographer asked him to smile, to which Ryan replied, "If you're showing this picture to anyone it means I'm dead, so what have I got to be so happy about. If I had my way, I'd be mooning you."
          Yep, he's a chip off the old block all right.

Happy Birthdaylotusice!!!

27 Nov

          Apparently one of the complaints that people have about Daniel Craig as James Bond is that he's only 5'11" tall. Damn! I was hoping to be the next Bond, but I guess that puts me out of the running.
          Hmm...maybe I can be in Happy Feet 2. "Okay, ju can adore me now. I bask in ju love."

28 Nov

          I don't usually discuss politics here, but...
          PM Harper won a parliamentary vote on his motion stating that the Quebecois form a nation within a united Canada. The motion was all driven by the hope of short-term political gain for Harper--10 seats from Quebec that he stands to lose in the next election.
          "Canadians across the country said 'yes' to Quebec, 'yes' to Quebecers, and Quebecers said 'yes' to Canada."
          Um...no, we didn't. A bunch of Members of Parliament did. I'm sure if you had asked 90% of the Canadians living outside of Quebec they would have said "no!"
          It's not like those MPs even bother to vote the wishes of their constituents. Conservatives were ordered not to oppose the government motion, as usual.
          Even Harper's Minister of Intergovernmental Affairs, Michael Chong, resigned, saying, "I believe in this great country of ours and I believe in one nation, undivided, called Canada, based on civic and not ethnic nationalism."
          We're so screwed, eh?

29 Nov

          So I was at a parade this morning. Notice I said at, not on. Even though I was only a spectator I still had show up in full dress uniform. Still, sitting in the stands beats standing on parade any day.
          This was a medals and awards parade. Most of the medals were CDs--for time served in the military. Then came the awards--The Wing Commander's Commendations and such. It used to be you had to take at least two bullets in the chest for the queen before you'd get an award; now apparently they give them out for anything. They gave one to a guy for teaching a lot--in French and English. (Remember, I work at a school.) A bunch of guys got an award for moving their office from one building to another. One guy got an award for organising a Meet and Greet, and another group got one for supervising the guys that actually did the work of polishing an aircraft.
          Once the Wing Commander and CO finished giving out those awards, they started giving them to each other.
          I told my boss obviously he'd been slack and idle in not writing me up for an award. I suggested Miss Congeniality.
30 Nov
          I didn't win the lottery again! What gives? I mean, how do they expect me to live in the lifestyle that I could so easily become accustomed to if they don't give me gobs of free money that I in no way earned?
          Obviously I would make a very good rich person--I already have an inflated sense of entitlement. I'm almost positive I'm lazy enough to qualify, and I promise to waste tons of cash on frivolous purchases like diamond encrusted nose-hair tweezers,  silver plated gold bricks, moon rock hide-a-keys, and a pushme-pullyou car shammy.
          Sure, I fall down slightly in the greed department as I have this penchant for wanting to share my wealth with friends and family, but that's just a minor oversight, right? Oh, and I have lots of imagination, so I doubt I would ever become bored by my wealth. Hmmm...that's two strikes against me. I wonder if the lottery people know?
          Well, you know what they say: "You can tell what God thinks of money by the people He gives it to."