31 Oct
          For Amber:

          More favourite moments from Recruit School.

Chief: "WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, SON?
Recruit: "I don't know, Chief."
Chief: "WELL WHEN YOU FIND OUT, YOU LET ME KNOW."
Recruit (two days later): Master Corporal, I'd like to make an appointment to see the Chief.
Me (Puzzled): Why?
Recruit: "I think I've finally figured out what's wrong with me."

Whenever a recruit sets their rifle down, they must set it down with the ejection port cover face up so as to prevent dirt from getting into the chamber.

Me (To a recruit caught setting her weapon down with the ejection port cover face down): "What's you're weapon's name, Private?"
Recruit: "Um...er...ah.."
Me: "Spit it out, I have places to go and recruits to terrorize."
Recruit: "My weapon's name is Dirty Ho, Master Corporal."
Me (Straight-faced): I want a 500 word essay on my desk first thing tomorrow morning on the importance of keeping your Dirty Ho face up."

The Master Bombardier, addressing the platoon and lamenting some new Jeeps the military just bought: 

"We spent 45 grand on them and the damn brakes squeal like a stuck pig!"
Recruit: "45 grand? Is that a lot?"
Master Bombardier: "For that kind of money we could have got Hummers.
Me (Straight-faced): He's talking about the cars.