10.You get a merit badge for picking the trifecta at Aqueduct.

9.You help old ladies across I-95.

8.First rule in the handbook: Blame the kid who can't speak English.

7.You're part of a very special Troop called the Gambino family.

6.To become an Eagle Scout, you have to catch and eat a Bald Eagle.

5.Since he can't get time off, Troop Leader holds meetings in his Century 21 office.

4.You get busted for selling knot-tying secrets to Russian Boy Scouts.

3.Scout Master hands out his favourite campfire treat - Malboro Lights.

2.Troop Motto: "Be Prepared... to lie on the witness stand.

And the #1 Sign is:

1.Every year you have to put on a skirt and go door-to-door selling cookies.