I was born on October 21, 1970 in Vancouver, British Columbia. My birth mom, Kathy, was staying in a home for unwed girls. She gave birth (she tells me it was an easy birth!) and soon after my parents-to-be came to see me in the hospital; they took me home early November. We lived in Vancouver for a few more years, then moved to Ottawa, where I've been ever since.
I was told I was adopted very early on...early enough that I don't think I even understood what it meant! I do know that I knew that I was 'chosen' and very loved. That was good enough for me :) My sister was my parents' biological child, but I never thought my sister was any 'different' and from what I can tell, neither did she. I must have really been proud of my 'chosen' status...my best friend decided that she wanted to be adopted too because it seemed so good! I did go through my bratty phases when I'd tell my parents 'You can't tell me what to do, you're not my real parents!'. Now that I'm older, I can see how hurtful that could be...I've talked it over with my mom and she says she understood and never took it to heart (phew!).
I sometimes wondered about my biological parents...mostly when I'd see my friends and how much they looked like someone in their family. I think that missing out on a family resemblance was the hardest thing for me. My sister looks so much like my mom, and I can see little things in her that are like my dad. This always left me wondering 'Do I look like anyone?'.
When I was about 14 or 15, I asked my mom to see the non-identifying information. She showed it to me and I read it all with wonder. It described these people, who I had some connection to...but it seemed so strange. I should note that my mom always told me that she'd help me find my biological family if I wanted to, so I didn't feel that asking for the information would hurt her. So, I was satisfied with this information for a while. I was able to see that my biological father had green eyes...that gave me something to explain where my green eyes came from.
Around the age of 16, two things happened in my life which I think affected my thinking about searching. First, my dad died of cancer. I had no family in Canada except for my mom and my sister. I guess this got me thinking about life, family, and where I fit in. Second, I started dating my first real long-term boyfriend. He had a huge family...parents, brother (I had always wanted a brother!), aunts, uncles, cousins...and lots of them! I was so jealous of this big family that he seemed to take for granted.
I was thinking on and off about possibly searching, but I'd heard some bad reunion stories which scared me a bit. I also thought that maybe my biological parents hadn't told people about me, and wanted it kept that way. In the non-identifying information, it mentioned that my bio. parents had planned to stay together. I used to tell people that maybe they were still together, and I may even have siblings! Everyone told me that it was very unlikely, impossible even. I understood their warnings about this, but I still had it in my head that they could be together.